For those that were/are SINGLE in the ORGANIZATION, did anyone encourage you to marry a WEIRD JW? (page 2)

Scott77

"The worst was a young man chasing my younger daughter, his family got very involved even driving 7 hours to visit us to let our family know how if she would only marry him they would always take good care of her, not to let doubts about his ability stand in the way" (Blithe Freshman).

HI Blithe Freshman, What happened to your daughters? Did you finally agreed that she be taken by that youngman? If not, how was you able to gracefully respond to this seeming challenge? About other contributor's comments, I think there is a unwritten rule around that tends to descriminate against the beautful sisters. They just wants only the ugly, less attractive ones to get a chance to marry. I think that is unfair to say the least. I also get the feelings that there are those in congregations that give themselves the right to recommend sisters or brothers as to who to marry or not. Another problem is not helped by the fact that generally speaking, there are too many sisters and few brothers congregations. I have already seen that myself.

Scott77

Bonnie_Clyde

I keep hearing too many sisters and not enough brothers. Around here, It's just the opposite--at least in the last few years.

Colton

Quite the opposite.

After I was baptised, I was allowed to date my JW sweetheart (with the permission of her JW family) and their youngest son as our chaperone ... two years later, I ask her to be my wife. Well, I announce to the elder who studied with me that I was engaged to be married and the look on his face could be compared to telling him he has been diagnosed with prostate cancer. He took me to the side and said, "Is her father an elder?" No. "Well, then there is a spiritual problem with that family. I have high hopes for you to go to Bethel." Needless to say, he never spoke to me again when I refused to take his counsel. I got married, but this elder refused to attend. Even years later, he would snub me at the assemblies.

Blithe Freshman

Scott77,

My oldest beautiful 5 years as a pioneer daughter decided she would rather live her own life & die in armedgedeon, than stay in the "truth". I remember her saying something to the effect a quick death at the big A was better than the onging hell of JW life.She was shortly after DFed and is happily married now with a beautiful daughter that will never know how fortunate she is. No one ever tried to fix her up with a brother.

The younger beautiful daughter dated several brothers, then DAed. Mostly the congregation ignored her and she handled interest by the elders in her dates well, & kept them out of her business. She also has a little girl & lives with the daddy. I call him son-in law, he calls me mom, but no wedding is planned. They are struggling with finances.

As for the afternoon spent with the anxious suitor & family, it was so surreal. There was no problem getting rid of them, my daughter had already called off the romance. Just letting the family freely speak reaffirmed they were all nuts. I fortunately didn't have to say anything, I was DFed and they let me know from the start that "ONLY" because of the seriousness of their visit would they come into my presence or allow me to speak to them. I took advantage to remain respectfully quiet & submissive in attitude and held my tongue. My husband was so pissed at how they treated me , he chewed his tongue off and kept quiet. The quieter we were the more they talked, the more they talked the crazier they sounded.They all left dissapionted for a long drive home.

I guess my sons were what took up most of my time, chasing away the girls!

What I saw my few years in was you got married if you wanted to & your family were die hard JW's. The elders always preached against dating and sisters critisized it unless you were with the right family. Then it all came together in happiness & appoval very quickly. Looks didn't seem to matter except the young men had inflated egos and sexist attitudes. The young women were so supressed & unready for marriage.

Gotta run, BF

Bonnie_Clyde

A young brother in our congregation (elder's son) was encouraged only to marry an elder's daughter. The only available girl was wierd to say the least. She never spoke to anyone unless they were had her dad's "approval." Dad had all kinds of requirements for his future son-in-law such as joining him in the family study, pioneering, etc. The marriage lasted less than a year--the girl got pregnant by somebody else, she was df'd but now reinstated. The young brother returned home to live with his family, and for some reason his father was removed as an elder because of this.

Bonnie_Clyde

A young brother in our congregation (elder's son) was encouraged only to marry an elder's daughter. The only available girl was wierd to say the least. She never spoke to anyone unless they were had her dad's "approval." Dad had all kinds of requirements for his future son-in-law such as joining him in the family study, pioneering, etc. The marriage lasted less than a year--the girl got pregnant by somebody else, she was df'd but now reinstated. The young brother returned home to live with his family, and for some reason his father was removed as an elder because of this.

Billy the Ex-Bethelite

Now that you mention it, BonaFide, I think I was the weird brother that the wonderful sisters were encouraged to marry.

BonaFide

Yea, really, maybe I WAS THE WEIRD ONE. I will say that the QUIET brothers were viewed as more SPIRITUAL, whereas the LOUD brothers like me were often viewed as IMMATURE. When I became a missionary, that helped my reputation.

BF

mrsjones5

My mother, who impersonated me and corresponded with a canadian jw that she met through a gossip rag (National Enquirer?). I did not find out about what she did until a package containing pictures (Omg - he looked like a backwoods lumberjack who only wore primary colors ), a five page letter, and a cassette tape arrived and was handed to me by my mother. The plan was for me to read the letter, listen to the tape, look at the pictures and then write a letter confirming plans from him to come to California for the DC. If I wrote a letter back the jw I would get a pair of shoes. Needless to say I wrote the letter, but I exposed the lie and told the poor guy that he had actually been writing to my mother, I was not interested, and not to come to California for the DC.

Mother was not happy but I got the shoes.

This happened when I was 20 or 21.

It's amazing that I'm not crazy.

Josie

JWdaughter

Josie!! Your mom was wacked:)

My best friend was married off to a newly arrived young man from the great lakes area. Don't know the whole story, but his family was fully aware that he had severe mental issues and the didn't reveal it to my friend before thewedding (they did show up and were welcoming and lovely to her) years later she had 3 kids, lived in a travel trailer, was pregnant and welfare was supporting her and her family and husband-who was beating on her. The girl was all pregnant belly(had always been tiny) and bruises. My heart broke and she looked so defeated.

They sent him to the west coast to find a bride, since all the local district/circuit was fully aware of his issues. She found out much of this later. She was well and truly stuck and thought she SHOULD be.

Is it common for the real mental cases to get shipped off to another region of the country to find a spouse?

For those that were/are SINGLE in the ORGANIZATION, did anyone encourage you to marry a WEIRD JW?

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