My JW Daughter sends a Letter to us Explaining her Shunning of Me

by flipper 81 Replies latest jw friends

  • beksbks
    beksbks

    Oh Mr. Flipper, I'm soo damn sorry. I can't even imagine how I would feel to go through this. Damn WTBS!!!

  • flipper
    flipper

    O.K. Just wanted to respond to the comments made by people on page 2 and 3. Thanks again so much for your comments !

    BIZZY BEE- It was an ironic twist of training coming back to bite me in the rear end for sure. Thanks for your caring words.

    WORLD TRAVELLER- Yes- I know I just left the WT society but my daughter equates the WT society with being God like all witnesses feel. I could never " pretend " or " fake " being a witness . But it is good she wrote us- I'll reach out to her.

    BENNY K- Yes at least my daughter expresses love still for me. That's a big thing and a good start.

    BONAFIDE- Good advice. I will focus on the non-witness stuff. I will keep it light and positive.

    PASSWORD PROTECTED- Thanks. My daughter does love me, we used to be very close. I will work on getting that back.

    BOYZONE- I noticed her switching from her authentic personality to the cult personality like you said, it was eerie. But like you said if my wife and I just treat her kind and dwell on good times we had in the past- reminiscing then it may open up good former feelings she had. No religious talk though. I'll let you know how it goes.

    PUBSINGER- Good suggestions by you ! Thanks. I agree with you I think getting the relationship back with my daughter is more important than getting her out of the cult right now. It took her 2 weeks to reply to us on the gift. So we will reply in 2 weeks as well. I will ignore religious stuff and be gentle and kind. You are right - I want a relationship with my daughter more right now.

    ALLELSEFAILS- Thanks. I think my daughter does have a brain , especially when she gets away from the mind control. Just have to keep showing love.

    LUKEWARM- I will go slow and take baby steps .

    JUSTHUMAN 14- Thanks buddy. It is true to the witnesses organization = Jehovah . So I have to be careful what I say to her. I feel for all my JW relatives still in it.

    ISAAC AUSTIN- I think she will respond to Mrs. Flipper yes. This is the older daughter the more mellow one yes. But she's a regular pioneer so still mind controlled. Just have to appeal to her authentic personality.

    SNOWBIRD- Thanks for your love and prayers Sylvia - I appreciate it. I feel in time the love she has will pull her out of the cult.

    BABA YAGA- Good point. That the relationship with my daughter - her true personality is what's important here ! We will appeal to her true heart. No JW talk.

    UNDERCOVER - Thanks ! My daughter does care about us - she's just cult mind controlled. I think Hassan has good advice - like all you folks .

    HAMSTERBAIT- Very true. If the WT society told the witnesses it was O.K. to have contact with doubting relatives then I know my daughter would visit me in a heartbeat. They are so controlled.

    AMHA.ARET- Well at least my daughter is communicating now ! That's a good thing . Just be authentic like Hassan said .

    JW DAUGHTER - THanks Shelly. My daughter is a devout witness but very polite and loving. So I'm going to keep reaching out to the polite and loving part that is authentically her. Hopefully she will grow up - and see the difference between her authentic thinking and cult thinking.

    STEVE 2 - Thanks. She is respectful just have to keep going easy on her like you said and show love and be patient.

    DINAH- Yeah - It was a little hard to hear her say I did a great job in raising her to know Jehovah.

    HAPPYEXJW- Thanks. I will take it nice and slow. We will be gentle and non- religious and let her know we love her and want the best for her. I will be patient.

    ORACLE - Thanks friend. I agree, I feel she will break free eventually - just a matter of time. Gotta have humor to get through this ! I'm glad to hear you have helped your JW family think more ! I'll try to do the same.

    BALSAM- Thanks. I'm glad your sons left the witnesses eventually and you are close. It does hurt but I have a feeling she will come around in time.

    OUTLAW- Thanks for the support bro.

    MRS. JONES - Thanks so much! Peace out, Mr. Flipper

  • flipper
    flipper

    BEKSBKS- Thanks so much BEKS ! I appreciate it. I am doing O.K. , especially after reading all the upbeat good suggestions on how to approach bonding with my daughter again. Just gonna take it slow, be real, authentic and stay off witness topics and show her I love her . In time I hope it will wear out the cult personality

  • flipper
    flipper

    Hey everybody ! Feeling more upbeat about the future of my daughter and my relationship with all your good suggestions ! Just wanted to thank you guys and gals again for the kind comments ! All the good ideas and support have given Mrs. Flipper and I some good thoughts to put in a letter to my daughter in a couple weeks ! You guys are the best ! We are having Sammie Lee 24 and his wife over for dinner tonight - so I've got to help prepare the house for later- but thanks again sincerely

  • flipper
    flipper

    Just thought I'd bump this up again if anybody had some thoughts or comments ! All replies welcome ! Going to be working all night so won't be able to reply until later. Thanks, Peace out, Mr. Flipper

  • Homerovah the Almighty
    Homerovah the Almighty

    Hi Flipper, just was curious if you ever have mentioned or talked to your daughter about all the absurdities

    and false pretentiousnesses of the WTS begining with C. Russell and moving forward, surely any sane and thinking

    person would evaluate this information on its own merits, keying in the selling aspect of this organization.

    I wonder if printing out pages of information and then mailing it to her would open hers eyes a little ?

    Its unfortunate that she is living in the dark like this and any close relationship with her is being nullified

    out of ignorance and fear. Since things with her are so closed off perhaps some effort on your part might actually produce

    something of value in the future.

  • StAnn
    StAnn

    Mr. Flipper, I could barely stomach reading your daughter's letters. But I do have a little thought. She is "breaking the rules" by writing to you and by discussing religion with you. I wonder if maybe she's trying to convince herself with her letter? Because the evidence in her face, of you and your wife being kind to her, flies in the face of what the WTS has told her to expect from "apostates." Could this show a little crack in her armor?

    Of course, we don't know, but I wonder....

    St. Ann

  • Maddie
    Maddie

    Hi Mr. Flipper - It must have been a bitter/sweet feeling reading this letter from your daughter. Although she is very much under mind control, she tried to show her love for you by some of the things she said. Sadly, her whole perception of unconditional love is warped by being in the WT cult. I dont know what the answer is, just keeping the communication going must be a good thing.

    Maddie

  • ninja
    ninja

    keep doing what you're doing flip...cos what you're doing ..you're doing well........yer mate....da ninja

  • flipper
    flipper

    Thanks for the replies ! I really appreciate all of them.

    HOMEROVAH- I would really like to show my daughter fallacies of the WT organization - but she is SO DEFENSIVE about ANY negativity towards the WT society that anything I say negative about the society would fall on deaf ears. I mean I've tried- believe me, and it hasn't worked. I mean - just revealing to her about the child abuse lawsuits and telling her what the NEWS MEDIA reported set her off in JW protection mode ! So I have to be extremely careful here in how I proceed from this point on. She has at least opened a door of communication with this letter after NO communication for a year and 3 months - so I think I will only pursue non-witness topics wih her - remind her of good family times we had camping or something. At least for the time being until I develop more trust and rapport with her ( as Steve Hassan recommends ).

    ST. ANN- You bring up a good point. A few other posters mentioned that as well. It may be that my daughter is coming hard with the witnessing towards me because she IS trying to convince herself too. She is a kind person- so she may have a little " crack " in the JW armor. She's really not " breaking the rules " as you put it by talking witness info to me because I am not DFed. I've just been inactive and not attended for 6 years almost. So in her mind she is trying to just reach me- her motives are good . But if my wife and I continue just being kind- reminding her of past good times we had together ( non-witness activities , ie. camping, hiking, etc. ) I think I will be able to reach her authentic personality in time. But I'll have to be patient.

    MADDIE- Very true what you say. The WT society has DEFINITELY given my daughter a skewed view of " unconditional love " and has implanted into her cult personality acceptance of " conditional love " which as we all know has a very damaging effect on a person's real, authentic caring which they were born with - pre-witness. So like you said I'm just going to try to keep the lines of communication open by being a dad to her - writing her about nice, fun activities we shared which were non-witness activities like camping, hiking, shopping, etc. Build the trust up again. Thanks for your kind words. I know you've been through this also. You keep your chin up too sis.

    NINJA- Thanks Ninja ! I appreciate it buddy. It will be a long road to get the close authentic relationship back with my daughter- but I'm determined to do it the right way without alarming her JW radar ! We shall see what happens ! Thanks for the support

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