My JW Daughter sends a Letter to us Explaining her Shunning of Me

by flipper 81 Replies latest jw friends

  • flipper
    flipper

    My wife and I sent my 22 yr.old pioneer witness daughter and her husband a anniversary card and $ 40.00 and flowers the end of April. My daughter wrote Mrs. Flipper and me each our own individual letters thanking us initially for the gifts - and then went into detail as to why she has not spoken to me for over a year and shunned me.

    Keep in mind as I paraphrase some of the highlights to these letters that the ONLY negative thing I have said about the organization to my daughter in 3 years was to show her the AP news release about the child abuse settlements by the WT society . I'll quote parts of the letter to Mrs. Flipper first :

    Letter to Mrs. Flipper

    " Dearest Mrs. Flipper , I just wanted to thank you so much for the anniversary gift ! That was so sweet and thoughtful. The roses were beautiful ! We know we are loved by you both. So how are you doing ? I hope you're doing good and are in good health. "

    " No doubt you must wonder why I have little contact with my dad, and I want to explain to you the reason. First of all I want you to know I think you are a beautiful person. From the little time I've spent with you I can see you are a very sweet and caring person and I have no doubt you take care of my dad well. And most importantly I want you to know I love my dad very, very much ! I could not have asked for a better dad. You see he gave me the greatest gift I could ever ask for by teaching me about our loving creator, Jehovah. " ( Then she goes on and on about Psalms 37: 10,11 and 29 about Paradise and witnesses to my wife which I won't bore you with. She kept going on about my dad taught me this, my dad taught me that. )

    Then she continued, " Dad taught me my relationship with Jehovah God is more important than even my relationship with him. " ( I don't remember saying that. ) " And my mom and dad both would tell us if anything ever happened to them and they left Jehovah, to never leave Him. And I was taught this truth, Jehovah doesn't leave us - we leave Him. Sadly Mrs. Flipper , when I speak to my dad now I no longer hear that love for Jehovah, instead he speaks very negatively about the organization Jehovah is using today. The same organization that has taught my dad all the beautiful Bible truths he knows and taught me. We should be thanking Jehovah for the truth, not speaking against it . And so this pains my heart like you cannot imagine. "

    " The greatest gift would be to hear my dad wants to come back to Jehovah and His loving organization He is using today. This is a subject of many of my prayers. I hope you can understand how I feel, and if you have any questions feel free to write me. All my love, Flippers daughter. ( Sigh ) ( Italics mine )

    Letter to Mr. Flipper

    " Dear Dad, Thank you so much for the anniversary card and gift. We really appreciate it. I hope you're doing well and in good health. I think about you a lot :) I also want to take this opportunity to thank you for the greatest gift you've ever given me. You gave me the best life possible by teaching me about our loving creator, Jehovah ! " ( Audience : Remind me next time to not do THAT good of a job. ) " I could never ask for a better Dad ! I know it must have not been easy with your busy work schedule and responsibilities but you made time for me, my brother and sister to teach us about Jehovah God. " ( Then drones on witnessing to me ).

    " We can all see this world is not getting any better . There are so many today who have no hope for the future. But thanks to you Dad I know what the Bible says, and how very soon He's going to put an end to Satan's old system ! This world's like a sinking ship; like the Titanic and our only protection is Jehovah. Our lifeboat is the congregation. "

    " Dad, the greatest gift I could ever receive would be to hear you want to come back to Jehovah and serve Him once again. You know Dad, Jehovah is very loving and has loyal love towards us and He is very forgiving. Now is the time to come back to Jehovah. You have very loving brothers in the congregation near where you live who will be there for you. Dad, you gave me the best in life, and I want that for you. If you want to come back to Jehovah I'm here to help you. All my love, Flipper's daughter. " ( Sigh )

    So - That's it ! I think my wife and I are going to research Steve Hassan's books on how to conversate with mind control victims before writing her back. One of his books actually gives examples of him conversing with Jehovah's Witnesses and I think we are going to re-read that example before writing my daughter back. Yes - This is disturbing to me - but I realize how mind controlled my daughter is . I kind of feel she wrote these letters out of guilt because my wife and I treated her and her husband well - so she had to explain the shunning to Mrs. Flipper. You know - the appearance thing. But she is a sweet young lady in her authentic mind - just the cult personality that is twisted inside of her. So as always PLEASE feel free to give me any and all advice. I respect you all here and I am all ears. Give it to me. Peace out to all, and thanks very much, Mr. Flipper

  • TheSilence
    TheSilence

    I don't have any advice... just a listening ear and sympathy for your situation. I wish you the best.

    Jackie

  • Dixie
    Dixie

    I'm so sorry to hear this. We are going through a similar situation with my two step-children. At least Mrs Flipper received a nice letter from your daughter! My step-daughter is blaming everything on me and and telling people that her father left the JWs because he loves me more than his own children.

    One of his books actually gives examples of him conversing with Jehovah's Witnesses and I think we are going to re-read that example before writing my daughter back.

    Do you know which book it is? I'd like to check it out.

  • megaflower
    megaflower

    Mr. Flipper,

    I think it is a wise decision for you to reread Hassen's book before writing back to your daughter. Yes, your daughter will not meet with you face to face but she did respond with kindness and affection in her letter. I believe the door is still open. It is just a metter of figuring out how to open it even more. The right words chosen carefully due to her mind control will further your message to her. Please keep us posted and I wish you the best.

    Meggy

  • flipper
    flipper

    THE SILENCE- Thanks so much. I appreciate the support.

    DIXIE- I'm sorry you are going through a similar situation. I'm sorry you are being blamed for everything ! That's awful. I hope things work out for you. The name of Steve Hassan's book which he mentions interactions with witnesses is : " Releasing the Bonds- Empowering People to Think for Themselves ". I think it would really help you - I know Mrs. Flipper and I are going to read it again

  • alamb
    alamb

    I'm so sorry.

  • mouthy
    mouthy

    If I were you I would write a lovely letter back Telling how happy you was
    to read of her love for you. & Happy she liked the gift.
    That she was a gift to you when she was born...BUT
    ignore all the bits about the preaching. Dont make it a long one.
    I too would mention what a happy life you have with the MISSUS.
    & tell her if her marraige is as happy ,then that is another gift to you

    MY 2 cent Flip

  • Quandry
    Quandry

    Mr. Flipper,

    Well, she did a very good job of writing just the right things, didn't she? I am sure this letter could be included in a part at the district convention!

    She is a model witness. Darn!!!

    I hope the book will help you with a reply.

    I am sure you are proud of her (as she has many good qualities...faithful to her marriage mate, loyalty to her friends, moral habits). The only thing I can think of she left out is the part about "honoring your father." Can't do that if you are shunning him.....

  • minimus
    minimus

    Flip and Mrs. Flip, Your daughter sounds like a sweetheart. I feel bad for all of you. There's not much you can do except go back to Jehovah. ONLY this will satisfy her. She is in a CULT. She cannot see what we can see. I feel for you as a dad, my friend. All I can say is love her the best way you can.

  • no more kool aid
    no more kool aid

    Wow, she sounds so sweet and innocent. Don't you just wish you could shake her awake! She reminds me of myself when I only had a 22 year old vantage point. I, too shunned my father since the age of 14 he tried to keep in touch for awhile then he must have given up, now would you believe, I can't find him (very common name, unfortunately). I wish I could tell what I know as a grown up woman with kids almost her age. All I can say is follow Hassan's advice and keep making gestures like you did ( an anniversary and not a birthday, smart).

    Posts like this remind me that we got ourselves and the kids out just in the nick of time before something like this could happen in our family. All the best to you!

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