JW urban legends (page 2)

jakmarx

I have 2 great demon based legends.

A talking wardrobe that cant be burnt. Lets just hope the demon had good taste.

Talking cats.

Bunnies walking on there ears.

Etc.

fokyc

My wife is regularly bringing these tales up, she thoroughly believes they are absolutely authentic

and has always done so for over 50 years.

If I tried something similar! I would be for the chop

fokyc

MidwichCuckoo

Bonafide - I heard the ''angels'' either side of the JW woman over 30 years ago - is it STILL doing the rounds? lol...

...I also heard the one about the car advertised for sale for about 5 quid, and no one enquired after it believing it to be a misprint - except for a poor pioneer who needed a car for the service (and, of course, it wasn't a misprint, and the young pioneer was now able to preach more effeciently)

JAVA

Remember the demon-controlled smurf at the Kingdom Hall? It really happened; I took a picture!

mraimondi

sorry, anyone who believed this shit as a witness was a fucking moron.

i was a witness long enough - and the whole time when i heard stuff like this it was, ok... whatever. If i didnt see it or personally experience it, and it wasnt in the bible, it could go fuck itself.

wobble

Succinctly put Mraimondi,my thoughts word for word.

I heard another one about a Bro. who was a travelling salesman and was having an affair in a far off town,when a Bro. from his Congo had a puncture right outside,and knocked on the door to borrow a wheelbrace or somesuch,and matey-boy answers the door,so his secret comes out,must have been Jehoober dishing out punctures!!

What a load of utter Bol**cks!!

Love

Wobble

rebel8

ROFL

Submitted to snopes.com.

drwtsn32

Wasn't this list just posted yesterday?

verystupid77

Hear is another one.

The art of forgiveness
Here is an experience that is good to meditate on
It talks about a young 22 yr old pioneer brother that was out in service.

He went to a door and the householder showed irritation at his presence.

The man told him to wait and he came back armed and shot the brother.

The brother died there. During his trial, the man said that he hated Jehovah's Witnesses and had warned that he would kill the first person to knock on his door.

The man was found guilty and was sentenced to prison. Years later he was released and went back to live in the same house. The brothers in
the congregation were warned and avoided preaching at that house.

But there was a brother that desired to visit that house again. He was advised against it, but he insisted and was given permission to visit the house.

The brother figured that time spent in prison had changed the man. So he went to the murderers home. The man was very surprised to see him
and asked him if he knew that he had killed a witness before. The brother said he did know and this surprised the man. He was curious to know
the kind of man capable of knocking on his door so he invited the brother in and a Bible study was started.

The months passed and the truth became clear to the man. He came to know a God capable of forgiving even the most serious sins. His spiritual progress was evident, but at the invitation of attending the Kingdom Hall, the man declined. He said he couldn't go to the Hall if the parents of the young brother he had killed were not able to forgive him also. The brother told him, "It's not necessary.

Jehovah has forgiven you. He doesn't keep account of what you did before you knew the truth." Even so, the man was reluctant to accept the invitation to the Hall. He insisted in needing the forgiveness from the father of the young brother he had killed.

Otherwise he would not go to the Hall. The brother asked him, "Do you really need that? Do you really need the father of the young man to forgive you?"

When the man told him he did, the brother said to him, "Consider yourself forgiven because I am the father of that young man you killed." Today, both are serving in the same congregation and yearn for the day when Jehovah will bring back to life that young man in the resurrection. The discourse concluded shortly after this, showing the value of genuine forgiveness. Certainly that experience touched the hearts of all that heard it. It's difficult, but not impossible, the art of forgiveness.

OnTheWayOut

1. The bomb planted in the Kingdom Hall in Australia

Jehovah could have prevented the bomb explosion if He got involved. He must have wanted the locals to shell out new money for a new hall, since WTS is self-insured. Plus, that one guy- Jehovah must have been out to get him. He had to be apostate. (Can you imagine such rumors?)

2. ....a large tree was Inconveniently located in the center of the parking lot

Jehovah hates trees. He loves Kingdom Halls with plenty of parking.

3. The boss replied, 'Hall!? I told you to go to the mall!'

Total BS. "Hall" and "mall" makes a nice C.O. concluding talk comment at an assembly. It's probably a story off the internet converted to JW language.

4. ...a semi-truck overturned, blocking traffic. What was it carrying? Trusses!

Anyone who knows anything about construction knows that they would have been the wrong size or the wrong type. Trying to say "NO, they were exactly what they needed" or "They adapted to what they had" would only make it that much more silly. Another pure BS story.

5. A storm came up and washed the sand from the priest's land to where it was available to the friends.

Fits beautiful with the "friends." That bad old priest wouldn't just sell the sand, so Jehovah showed him. The truth triumphs over Babylon.
Just too good to be true. I bet the original internet story was about a church building and some evil land baron or casino owner holding out sand.

6. ...a bolt of lightning killed the middle brother. ...He was not a brother, but an imposter, planning to turn this list over to the police!

Jehovah strikes people dead if they plan against WTS. How oh how did CRISIS OF CONSCIENCE ever get written?

7. So he had escorted the Brother right through with his literature!

I can imagine the story could be true about getting past the roadblocks, but for the part about the roadblocks being set to stop the JW's- that's just laughable. Talk about your paranoid cult. The original internet story was probably about Bibles for the priests to distribute, and it was probably passed on from back in the way back days when a farmer smuggling Bibles gave the constable a ride on his oxcart.

JW urban legends

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