Jeff Foxworthy on JW's

by Outaservice 11 Replies latest jw friends

  • Outaservice
    Outaservice

    These are some jokes that this comedian has to say about Jehovah's Witnesses.
    The fact is they are somewhat accurate. He must have a relative that is a Witness. He is famous for doing hillbilly redneck jokes.

    This is from Jeff Foxworthy:

    YOU MIGHT BE A JEHOVAH'S WITNESS IF....

    If "pioneer" is not a stereo, "new light" is not something in the house wares department, and "tract"
    has nothing to do with land or farming. If "Memorial Day" isn't in May.

    If you spent days at a baseball stadium, never saw a ball, and didn't even have a beer.

    If you think "formal clothing" and "civic center" belong in the same sentence.

    If you wash windows or cars for a living and still own five suits.

    If you think nothing of letting your friends stop by to use the bathroom.

    If you know the cleanliness of every coffee shop for four towns around.

    If you think 2-door vehicles aren't really cars.

    If you go to Home Depot and go down the aisle where doors are displayed and you feel compelled
    to knock on them.

    If you can't buy a pair of shoes without thinking about how comfortable they will need to be while
    walking residential streets in 95-degree heat.

    If you have a tendency to refer to books by color instead of by title.

    If you have a shelf just for 192-page books.

    If you can't pick up a book, or anything else to read, without picking up a pencil or highlighter too.

    If you think it is complimentary to refer to someone as "a study."
    If you have "get-togethers" rather than "parties."

    If, after one of such "get-togethers" at your home, your house is not a mess and you have more food than when you started.

    If you realize things are getting worse, and you're thrilled.

  • Priest73
    Priest73

    That's been on the interwebs for years. I highly doubt that Foxworthy had anything to do with those.

  • Outaservice
    Outaservice

    Whooo........'rough crowd already'!

    Outaservice

  • Priest73
    Priest73

    my bad. they were funny. I just think that they are only funny the dubs and ex-dubs.

    I didn't mean to snap.

  • rebel8
    rebel8

    The dubbies love this. You know, 'cause the world revolves around them.

    http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080518113028AAW6Wi2

    I submitted this to Snopes.

  • truthsetsonefree
    truthsetsonefree

    I don't know if he originated these but they are d**n sure accurate.

  • mkr32208
    mkr32208

    This whole list would mean NOTHING to someone who wasn't a witness or ex witness. Even someone who had studied for a long time wouldn't get this whole list. Jeff Foxworthy is a babtard he's got nothing to do with the witnesses and as far as I can tell other then having them bother him on the occasional Saturday he never has.

    So while the list might be funny it certainly didn't originate with jeff...

  • Priest73
    Priest73

    Outaservice? Where about in Ga do you hail? I was born and raised in that briar patch.

  • Outaservice
    Outaservice

    Priest73, I PM'ed you.

    Outaservice

  • poppers
    poppers

    From the link rebel8 supplied:

    Cute isn't it.
    To think that we are recognized by a comedian in such a positive way proves that we are doing our best to follow Jesus command, People will know that we are his disciples by the love we show amongst ourselves

    Barf!

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