No emotional highs/lows in jw lives

by rebel8 22 Replies latest jw friends

rebel8
If you've taken Sociology 101 or read sociology books, you've seen discussions of the functions holidays serve. Without consulting my textbooks, here are a few of them
1. Honor important events
2. Reaffirm cultural, social, or familial ties
3. Rest
4. Experience joy
In essence---enjoy life and have strong ties to the community and family!
One of the reasons jws taught (when I was a kid) that you couldn't celebrate holidays, go to pep rallies, have big parties, cheer at sporting events, etc. is because it excites you, distracts you from meditating on Thee Truth, promotes bad association, places too much emphasis on non-Jehovah-related events, etc. And jws don't need rest--Wasn't it Satan who said, "Be kind to yourself" blah blah blah ???
So basically all the sociological functions of holidays are exactly the reason wts doesn't allow them. I'm starting to think it really isn't the doctrinal things they object to.
I keep hearing how depressed and bored the jws are. It's not just a few rules or repetitive talks--it's the fact that wts has methodically sucked every bit of joy out of their lives, things that humans have needed to be happy for thousands of years.
So emotional highs=no no. Emotional lows? Well you can't do that either. Serving Jehovah means you ARE happy. He COMMANDED you to have joy. If you don't, it's YOUR fault.
No emotional highs or lows allowed! What do you think?
StAnn

Rebel, I think on the surface, the WTS disagrees with holidays for doctrinal reasons but, underneath it all, the real goal is to so deprive its members of any kind of joy and satisfaction in life that they can get all stirred up over a useless drama at a convention. Or get really excited when a break comes and they can auxiliary pioneer. If they ever felt true happiness, they might recognize that what they feel as JWs is true unhappiness and leave.
I think trying to control their emotional responses is necessary, if you want them to shun people at will and allow their children to die for want of a blood transfusion.
You may be on to something.
StAnn
lurk3r

Hmmm. Rebel, I hear what your saying. I have wondered many times, if my family was a "normal" family, would we have been closer? All the holidays that JW do not partake in, usually involve family, and in line with what you bring out, those
holidays often bond families. Often, not always.Christmas and Thanksgiving for example, birthdays too. Even beyond that, if your being a "proper christian family", you dedicate that much more time to bible study, prestudy etc, and really do limit the strength of a
proper bond between members of the family in one way or another. Perhaps I am being extreme, but for myself there is something to that line of thought, I just haven't reached a conclusion yet.
With regards your observation on emotional highs and lows. Once again, what your saying is very true, but isn't depression a "low?" Just reflecting on your post for mere minutes makes me come to a realization of myself, and perhaps others may
or may not relate. I ALWAYS had highs and lows. Mostly lows mind you, but some highs. The sick part about it is they were ALL within the box of the JW mentality. Highs - my first talk. My first door on FS. Actually being able to form words at a
young age and sing at the KH. Standing up for my beliefs, or having someone acknowledge my belief and UNDERSTAND where I was coming from with regards my "isolated" behavior from wordlings. The rush of walking down the aisle to go and
get baptized at the assembly. Feelings of euphoria as i stood shoulder to shoulder with 15,000 people in one place, united. Knowing i had the truth and was going to live FOREVER! I could go on and ON.
Outside of the "truth" and the comfort zone was a nightmare.
Having to stand in the hall at school during the Lords Prayer. Being made to feel like Jesus himself, the way I had to "stand up" for something, only I didn't have a clue about it.. Fuck me running, I even took my Book of Bible Stories to school and
"preached" to my grade 3 teacher. WTF?! This list, I don't know if Simon has enough server space to fit it all in even, but it would be looong. No wonder we feel "different" than the world. Even worse, that's the feeling your SUPPOSED to have as
Witness. Dammit, i'll say it. WITLESS! (praise be Wizard) . I remember an elder in my hall. I was 13 at the time. We were out on FS and there was a High School jock that I knew (I was such a loser) that answered the door. I nearly shit my
pants. Wellll, as kind hearted as this elder was, he was a real work of art let me tell ya. This...this upstanding Brother see's the opportunity to make me a fucking martyr. As good as his intentions were, and note, I'm not blaming him, cause he is
blind to the "truth". Anyways, I don't think he even cracked the magazines out. Elder anyone starts talking about the bible to this jock, like he gives a shit! Elder anyone then instructs me to open to a Scripture and READ IT, OUT LOUD ,right to
said jocks FACE! Shit on me! Gym was shit the following Monday as this jock comes up and says "Hey, lurk3r, read me passage 18"...in this really condescending, jockish tone. Of course, I wilted. The hall sure was the place to be
back then. Wow.
Sorry. Anyways, I think there ARE highs and lows, their just the wrong kind.
lurk3r
OUTLAW

Your not doing enough for JEHOVAH!!.. ............................................................ The "Big Announcement", about the "Big Announcement",from the WBT$!!.. ...........................LOL!!...OUTLAW
Mrs. Fiorini

My take on the holidays is that celebrating helps people form their cultural and family identities. To the extent that the WT can intervene in that process, they have that much more control on your identity and therefore your loyalty.
WTWizard

I have noticed that trend. Holidays and birthdays were banned before my time (Christmas went in 1927, and birthdays sometime in 1950 or 1951). They also just about banned going to bars and nightclubs, even where no booze is served.
As if that wasn't enough, they took all normal events away from children at school. One cannot participate in extracurricular activities because of something stupid about fornication. They started taking activities away from the witlesses that they themselves were holding, citing isolated incidents where someone got out of hand, beginning in the early 1980s. This process is ongoing--every time the Filthful and Disgraceful Slavebugger gets word that witlesses are enjoying an activity, they will find a pretext to ban it.
Again as if even that wasn't enough, they are dogmatic about TV, movies, and music. Anything that contains even a single swear word is "bad" for a movie or TV show. They will find something wrong with just about everything not released by the Washtowel Slaveholdery. The music? If it isn't suggestive lyrics (I don't think much of today's alternative "rock" is suggestive enough), it's a suggestive beat or a war march that makes the song "bad". You are left with 225 of the s***iest "music" on the planet, a few videos, one CD-ROM, and a handful of approved web sites. Anything else is banned.
About all that's left is the a$$emblies, the REJECT Jesus Party, the Pio-Sneer campaigns, and Waste of Paper Distribution Campaigns to set one period off from another. That is why people look forward to the Grand Boasting Session, even though it means that much of their music is going to end up in the garbage afterward. t is why people look forward to pio-sneering. It is why people look forward to these p*** poor announcements that are for a slightly different arrangement. There simply is nothing else to look forward to within the religion.
darthfader

I can attest to the lack of emotional lows. My mother passed away when I was 9. At no time was I allowed to grieve. I remember several neighbor kids asking me why I wasn’t sad and I told them I would see her real soon in the new order (this was around 1975, but that’s another story)… I was happy because I had knowledge of a hope that they did not. Unfortunately this was an unnatural process for me to go though. I didn’t realize the baggage that came with it until I was in my 20’s – My relationship with my Step-mother and other “mother figures” was skewed. I think that people deserve to be honored and mourned – it’s how our brains assimilate and sort out the emotions – drive us to perform better and cause us to reflect on losses.
Darth Fader
(please forgive the formatting - I'll figure out this editor yet...)
sammielee24
If you've taken Sociology 101 or read sociology books, you've seen discussions of the functions holidays serve. Without consulting my textbooks, here are a few of them
In essence---enjoy life and have strong ties to the community and family
If you go on to read about the behaviour and reasoning/growth of a child, you will also recognize that a child learns how to reason at about 8-12 years of age. This is a crucial period of development and when the ability of any child to reason has been greatly altered and affected, the results are often difficult to overcome. That is why a child raised as a JW, loses their sense of individuality and as an adult JW, has no sense of reason. If you try and debate with them or show them another way, they cannot remove themselves from their identity because they have lost the ability to reason for themselves. That is why a JW adult has difficulty with hobbies or other interests - he has no way to understand the importance of those things because he cannot understand the reasoning. That is why so many are comfortable in their zone - they do not have to think. They listen and repeat, they do not have to think - their world remains without any emotion, without any ups and downs, they have no critical reasoning skills to fall back on because they were not allowed to develop. This is a major difference in the outcome for many JW's who are raised as a child in that strict environment vs those not raised in the same environment but who join later. The words 'free will'..and 'choices'..have very different meanings when applied to a child raised in very different surroundings. sammieswife.
reniaa

lol bazaar thread I just did a 'going to new school party' yesterday and had 3 witness families and kids there, as well as some ones from my daughters nursery it was a great party fun for the kids without all the birthday and christmas stuff but just as good for them, even better because all the kids were just the same and having fun.
I am a 3rd generation witness and have always seen it depends on the parents many making sure their kids don't feel missed out. I never serve booze at my gatherings and always make sure theres plenty of good conversation and fun, I remember similar events like that in my childhood, my grandma didn't need any excuse to make a chocolate smartie cake for any gathering.
Being away from witnesses give me a good taste of the alternative christmas parties and birthdays were again they are pretty much dictated by the parents. my niece whose dad had dubious mates used these holidays as excuses to get drunk, my niece got cigarette burned it was just before they got banned in public places in england and I was happy our government did that.
I see at birthday parties one child getting overwhelmed with fuss and at mine non-holiday gatherings I make sure they all have fun and my daughter just enjoyed being with her friends.
You can give your child the same without the tag of these pagan festivals although apostates would make you think differently all part of the negative spin where worse case scenario's are claimed as fact.
DaCheech

reniaa, it's all bad, non-witnesses are all bad, drunk, smokers

No emotional highs/lows in jw lives

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