It was DULL. I could have sworn that I heard the same talk 20 years ago. Witnesses look tired, bored, lifeless. I hadn't been to a memorial in 11 years. There is still the same prancing from the young women usually seen on memorial night---new clothes, salon hair and nails. Too much drama for just a single hour of exposure, a single hour of chair-warming. But, I understand perfectly why.
I used to be like that many moons ago. This is the one time in the year that is somewhat eventful in the otherwise colorless life of a young JW woman. Sexy was in this year, I saw quite a few outfits that revealed shoulders, backs, cleavages, legs, and stilletos were the footwear of choice, all out for show. Shoot, there were some mamacitas! If I were a guy I'd make a move. There I was in my knit dress pants and faux cashmere duster. It's still chilly here in the evenings.
Not looking to make a point with wearing pants, just wanted to be comfy. Darn thing started later than I remember, at 8:30. I get up at 4:30 am everyday, so by 8:30 in the evening I'm usually in my jammies ready to call it a night.
Many non-witnesses where there, I could tell, but it was also obvious that these weren’t bible studies or "interested ones." These were clearly the relatives of other witnesses. Attendance: 164. I don't know how that stacks up to the average meeting attendance or to prior year's memorial at that same location. I remember when I used to go it was in a different city and there was a headcount of about 500-600, easily.
Talk made mention to how many anointed worldwide: over 9000. I remember this number used to be less? The speaker raised the question as to how the anointed know that they are anointed. He pointed to Romans 8:23, the first section. The point he made was that the anointed are so because they say so, (?????) and used this scripture to back it up. I had to smirk. Yous some slick mofos, I thought to myself. They think they are so smart by taking small snippets here and there of unrelated scriptures to prove a point. I thought to myself that the average witness would do himself or herself a great favor by just taking the entire book of Romans---which is my favorite book to read---reading it from start to finish, exactly as one should read it since it is a letter, without the weird cross referencing and pauses in the selection. It's so simple to understand the message. Especially chapter 13.
The speaker made clear pronouncements on remaining faithful and loyal (to whom? I think we know). Clear distinctions made between anointed and other sheep. Other sheep do not partake of emblems, period point blank. The speaker's tone was robotic and clannish. The members were too. Only a handful of people know me in this congregation, but hardly anyone spoke to me. Why the cold shoulder? What if I wanted to come back into the fold? (not that I want to of course). Not at all humble and Christ-like. It's clear that proselytizing is not working; it's basically dead.
I got of couple of sly looks when I used the bible to follow along in the readings, as if to say "she knows how to use that thing?" At some point during the evening an attendant stood right behind me, I was in the last row. I entertained thoughts, for sure, about eating the bread and drinking the wine. I'm not concerned about a reaction from anyone at all about this. I just said to myself when the time comes and if it feels right I would do what most feels natural. This is where I really pity the JWs, on both accords. They fail to realize that Jesus Christ wants all of us to remember him (do this in remembrance of me). We should all be in communion with the Lord, not just a select few. They also fail to follow their gut. Wow, I guess I've come really far from my JW days. I never would have said this 12 years ago.
I desisted from eating/drinking only because of the dullness of the whole event, not for any other reason. I want the pageantry of a mass or of a revival if I'm going to eat the body of Christ and drink the blood of the Christ........I believe his sacrifice merits that. This is not worth doing in JW land; I'll definitely take my business elsewhere.
The big question now: why go. My mother invited me. She invites me every year. My father was unsure of whether or not to go, but I guess he decided once he saw I was going. He never liked the JWs but he almost always goes to the memorial. He is fighting a brave but losing battle against renal cell carcinoma and he is nearly 83 years old (but hella feisty and will tend to his garden himself, thank you very much). This could be the last year that all 3 of us go somewhere together, get to be seen together. I decided let's make it an event, break up the routine a bit. We picked up a pizza afterwards and my dad nearly ate it all. He seemed very content. Worth it, I thought, as I watched him eat his slice.
This outing proved to me that I made the right choice by DAing, not that I needed any more proof. The watchtower's golden years are over, definitely gone. The sense of urgency is gone, empty shells of what used to be left in its place. It's nearly 100 years since 1914 (this generation will surely not pass.....) From the looks on the member's faces, they are obviously in denial, or mentally re-writing JW history.