Dear Slim,
I can relate. It took me years to finally say the big NO to the Memorial. 2 things clinched it for me. Although I had not attended meetings for years, every year I was guilted into going. The last one I almost attended about 5 years ago: Many extended family members were in town, everyone was preoccupied with what they were going to wear, that we go as a huge group to show how "strong" the family was in the "Truth" and we all get there early so that we could sit together. I had a cousin staying with me, and I kept saying this is a total farce. The cousin kept saying "We have got to show up or I'll never live it down." So at the last minute we threw on some skirts and nylons and faced the music. When we arrived, the hall was so packed there was standing room only in the entry hall, with a line behind us.
I looked at my cousin and said, "we tried" .....I'm not attending without a seat. So we left. Yes there was hell to pay, but just once. My mother said, "You have NEVER missed a Memorial in your life!" That was a frightening thought. Every year it became easier to say No. My husband also reminds me every year that this is the JW census count.
This year my mom left and invitation, my husband found it and promptly tore it up before I looked at it. Strangely enough, I was blissfully unaware tonight, is the night.
When you don't believe it anymore, why torture yourself? It doesn't mean you don't appreciate the sacrafice Christ made, it means you don't believe the JW version of it.
r.