Maybe I should just bite the bullet and GO BACK ? (page 6)

Homerovah the Almighty

Going back and supporting this innate corruption.....you must be joking ?

Returning as mental slave to some ignorant inhumane crooks

.......come on you can do better than that

Where is your heart and soul ?

moshe

A JW makes about as good a friend as a pet rattlesnake does.

Scarred for life

I never once gave returning TO ANY OF IT a second thought.

The "evil world" and the folks in it.....are nowhere near as frightening as the WTS purports them to be and, as I have found, nowhere near as frightening as those in the Kingdom Halls were.

I agree totally with this.

And AllTimeJeff, great, great post. I needed to read that.

Big Tex

Did the thought ever cross your mind? Did you ever seriously consider it? Yes and yes for me. I have done so very recently. I might someday - I am tired of having no friends, my life in the rearview mirror.

Jeff I don't know you well, but please do not let the present affect your reality. You know, now, what kind of place that sect is.

If I may, I left the Witnesses 13 years before my wife. We were both hard core. There have been folks on this board who knew us then, and were shocked we left. During those 13 years on my own, I was very lonely. I had everyone around me telling me how wrong I was ("why are you turning your back on Jehovah", etc.) day after day. For many years I was convinced I was wrong, and yet I couldn't bring myself to go back.

This is where I see you. As I say, I don't know you well, but I can tell you that with me, I needed to give myself permission. I needed to give myself permission that I was in control of my life. Not Jehovah. Not my wife. Not the elders or the "brothers". Just me. It was kinda scary there for a while. And frankly this board, by then it had begun, did a lot to do that for me. I just wish I had back in 1989!

Anyway, just throwing it out there. Your desire to go back may be about something else. Loneliness is a bitch. That's never been a problem for me, I've never had a problem being alone (no one can get you if you're by yourself!).

Hang in there. This life is a process. Step by step, sometimes backwards, but we can learn and grow.

Chris

flipper

AK JEFF- At first when I read your post I thought, " Has Jeff lost his mind ? " Then calmer nerves within myself prevailed when I saw you made this thread to elicit different responses and then you said you'd never go back. Then, I exhaled. I was raised in the witness cult like yourself , got out 5 years ago at age 44 after being in from birth. Personally, I've never wanted to go back since leaving. All the points people are making about friendships being conditional are very true ; you or anybody else going back after being out for so long would be scrutinized and judged as a bad , or weak associate anyway until you " proved " yourself once again. And proving yourself would take an entire lifetime - and to prove what ? That they'll accept you once again on " conditional " terms. A crock of $hit to be sure.

I understand how funerals can make you feel though ; I lost a close friend in 2003 , and it does bring out sentimental feelings. I've noticed at witness funerals I've gone to since I left that it makes me not want to go back even more because they turned the deceased witnesses funeral into a marketing lecture and sales talk for the " good news " of the alleged " kingdom ". It is not how I've wanted to remember my deceased friend. So what helps me to move on with the death of a friend is to dwell on all the good things I learned from him as a person, the good authentic qualities they had - and I find I carry some of my deceased friends humor, views, and life memories which live in me wherever I go from then on. It helps me forget about the crappy " mind control " cult jargon the WT society crams down the rank and file members throat. So- Just a thought that helps me differentiate conditional friends from unconditional friends

unclebruce

Dear AK Jeff,

please reconsider your decision to return to Jehovah's Window Washers. Sure you'll have plenty of friends and lots to do and pretty girls to flirt with .. heck and beautiful Kingdom Melodies and nice walks from house to house ... mmmm ... that's it ..joking or not, you've convinced me .. see you guys .. I'm running late to a theocratic bible meeting

Kissing Hank's Ass

WTWizard

First of all, you will not gain back any friends if you go back. They will all be suspicious of you, thinking you are going back to being inactive again (and that's assuming you faded). Some will likely treat you like crap anyways, while the hounders will always be looking at any fluctuations in field circus or missed boasting sessions with extreme suspicion (you left once, you are certainly on your way out again and they don't want that).

About the only thing you will gain back is the continual pressure to go to every boasting session, prepare for talks, believe everything the Filthful and Disgraceful Slavebugger tells you, obey whatever crap is in the next Washtowel lesson, go out in field circus and stay out all the time, pio-sneer, obey stupid rules, worry about what new colors of clothing or accessories are now required, get ready for the Grand Boasting Session and the REJECT Jesus Party, take part in the Waste of Paper Distribution Campaigns, study your Washtowels and Kingdumb Miseries, ... Is that what you want?

I would rather see someone looking for fellowship go back to regular church or volunteer in community activities. That way, there is much less pressure to do ever more. You can go to regular church and volunteer for whatever community service activities they have that you feel like, without pressure to do ever more. Whether you believe in Jesus or God or not, if there is any value in doing so, you will come out ahead. Either way, you can shop around in different churches and groups until you find one that suits you, disbelieve some or most of the doctrine, stay in for the fellowship and the community assistance programs, and not be penalized. Try that at the Kingdumb Hell.

nelly136

i've never had any desire to go back pretend or other wise, it was a learning curve that served its purpose at the time but has no further use.

MissingLink

You've already tried being a JW. For variety why not try a new cult. Scientology is always looking for suckers.

Maybe I should just bite the bullet and GO BACK ?