Lets pool our knowledge....

by Mickey mouse 12 Replies latest jw friends

  • Mickey mouse
    Mickey mouse

    ...and start a kick ass cult! Come on folks, we know best what works and what doesn't.

    What sort of cult should it be? What kind of whacked out rules should we make up? Plotting

  • rebel8
    rebel8

    I would like to be an offshoot of Pastafarianism, because I like to eat pasta.

    But it might be more fun to have a Bizarro World version of jws.

    Women could wear pants and keep the heat in the KH on high at all times. Slips and panty hose would not be allowed, nor skirts below the knee or without slits.

    Everyone would have a minimum of 2 birthday parties each, to make up for ones missed in the past. At parties, everyone would do toasts and wish the person "good luck".

    Scholarships won and good report card grades would be announced at meetings, and everyone would applaud.

    The KH would have a food bank and a display of interdenominational holiday decorations, open to the public each year.

    No litter-ature would be produced, and the KH would pay property taxes. Income would be derived mainly from selling raffle tickets, having a museum showcasing proof of all their travesties, and renting out the KH to the government for hosting voting booths each year.

    A large statue of the Flying Spaghetti Monster would be on the front lawn.

    Women would be in charge for the rest of the century at least. The first order of business would be to issue a formal apology to the Jews for supporting Hitler, followed by distributing $ from the sale of all headquarters property to those harmed by the blood policy and abuse practices.

  • rebel8
    rebel8

    Ankle bracelets would be strongly encouraged, along with long red Jezebel nails.

    The KH's back rooms would be turned into a lounge for teens, with a flat screen TV and games.

    Each week the congregation would coordinate a community service of planting trees, to replace those killed by the production of all the litter-ature.

    Only 2-door cars would be allowed.

    The bathrooms would be thoroughly aired out, then cleaned using essential oils, to remove that cheap cleanser-BO stench.

    Conventions would be music concerts.

  • cameo-d
    cameo-d

    Let's build a tower to reach into the heavens and see if god is there.

    Many have tried to find him here and he is not around.

  • rebel8
    rebel8

    cameo-d, If we did that, wouldn't our languages become confused again? I hate it when that happens.

    We could try to take a shuttle to Peladies.

  • bob1999
    bob1999

    "Women could wear pants"

    "Everyone would have [1] birthday party. At parties, everyone would do toasts and wish the person "good luck". "

    "Scholarships won and good report card grades would be announced at meetings, and everyone would applaud. "

    "The [church] would have a food bank and a display of interdenominational holiday decorations, open to the public each year. "

    "The back rooms would be turned into a lounge for teens, with a flat screen TV and games."

    This is just what it's like at the church I go to. No kidding.

    Peace

  • joebin
    joebin

    OK, I'm all for it and since no one has claimed it yet...I'm the leader..hehe. You can't disagree with me or I'll have you all drink the kool aid..

  • no more kool aid
    no more kool aid

    Rebel, I never knew what that smell in the bathroom was, thanks for clarifying. How about all the men in those cute stubble like beards. Babies in baby clothes instead of suits, ties and old man shoes.

  • Mickey mouse
    Mickey mouse

    Bizarro JW world sounds great! Thumbs Up 10

  • Witness 007
    Witness 007

    I'm with "Rebel8".......more slutty women in the hall!

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