No , not at all . I was born in and raised as a JW .Married another witness and raised three witness kids . I always imagined this was all there was for my life ,no matter how unhappy I was living it .
There were a few times over the years that I became very depressed at those times I did wonder what it would be like outside the confines of witnessdom . However I would go to an assembly and get all fired up to plug on some more .I would chastise myself for being weak . It was a rollercoaster ride for me for several years.
Even at the end when I just knew I had to quit, Fear of leaving overruled my conscience . I was so frightened that my spouse and children would stay in, and eventually all would hate me and shun me .
When I told my husband I was quitting he was devastated ,because he had never imagined our lives outside of being witnesses either .
That was almost five yrs. ago, and we have moved on slowly . He stopped attending too ,and is enjoying his free time doing hobbies he never had time for before . My children are all inactive now .
I put our first Christmas tree up this year (very small tabletop kind ).I work in a gift shop and have bought some beautiful ornaments .I absolutely love turning on the tree lights in the evening while relaxing .
As a special treat for the six witness families on my street I put a strand of blue Christmas lights and evergreen garland up around my porch railings ! :)
Did you always know you might leave?
by jws 41 Replies latest jw friends
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troubled mind
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troubled mind
No , not at all . I was born in and raised as a JW .Married another witness and raised three witness kids . I always imagined this was all there was for my life ,no matter how unhappy I was living it .
There were a few times over the years that I became very depressed at those times I did wonder what it would be like outside the confines of witnessdom . However I would go to an assembly and get all fired up to plug on some more .I would chastise myself for being weak . It was a rollercoaster ride for me for several years.
Even at the end when I just knew I had to quit, Fear of leaving overruled my conscience . I was so frightened that my spouse and children would stay in, and eventually all would hate me and shun me .
When I told my husband I was quitting he was devastated ,because he had never imagined our lives outside of being witnesses either .
That was almost five yrs. ago, and we have moved on slowly . He stopped attending too ,and is enjoying his free time doing hobbies he never had time for before . My children are all inactive now .
I put our first Christmas tree up this year (very small tabletop kind ).I work in a gift shop and have bought some beautiful ornaments .I absolutely love turning on the tree lights in the evening while relaxing .
As a special treat for the six witness families on my street I put a strand of blue Christmas lights and evergreen garland up around my porch railings ! :)