Ok people, it's time to put your years of bible training, gag gag, into use......write your own gospel that you would love to have seen included in the bible cannon. Whether in jest or in a serious tone, let's have at it. About time for a rewrite me thinks.
The Gospel of Saint Sweetstuff
Once there was a man, who was beaten down by his owner for many years and who prayed for vindication. Each month he'd pray, hoping for an answer. Yet no answer came. Believing no one cared for his plight, he resigned himself to servitude and misery, until one day when he saw a fellow slave smite the master and knock him to the ground. The slave then began to free his fellow captives and it dawned on the man that his salvation was in his own hands, he could only be enslaved if HE allowed it.
And a voice (within them), like a thundering voice of god from heavens said in one accord "f*ck this"
Truely I say to you, you are the master of your own ship, cast aside those that will try to ensnare you and rape your mind of all free thought. Smite them out of your presence as the slave did his master and you shall know true freedom and true peace. Do not be like the slave and resign yourself to a fate you believe is yours. Realize that you hold the power firmly in your own hands to bend your will to your own purpose. Rejoy my children, for freedom is yours, you only need grasp it and bend it to your will. Let no man dictate your righteous course.
Those who would try and stop you are as deadly venom, seeking a way in to your very soul. Cast them aside and rid yourself of their poison. In one accord as fellow beings, say unto them, "f*ck you". Amen.