My family wants me to see a Psychiatrist

by BonaFide 24 Replies latest watchtower scandals

  • jgnat
    So now she wants me to see a psychiatrist and get medication...She finally said, "It's not what you do, its what you say, you say bizarre things, so you must be sick. Even though you act happy, I know you are not....Please, I am begging you, go to the doctor. I will take you."

    I think a counsellor would be good...for you and for her. To work out what the real issues are. You first. Check out local resources in your area, and find someone who fits well. Talk about the pain of losing your entire social network in one fell swoop. Brainstorm how you can adapt and overcome. Then you can genuinely tell your sister you looked for help and got some. And if she brings it up again, invite her to come along to a meeting with your counsellor.

    She said "Everyone says that something is wrong with you." I said, "Who is everyone?" She said, "Well, I don't want to give names, but look at the way you are acting."..., she insinuates that my friends will leave me if I keep talking like this, and that I am unhappy.

    Right off, it is manipulative and wrong to reinforce an opinion by bringing in the anonymous "we". Teach your sister to talk to you properly. It is OK to talk about her anger and frustration, her fears for you and so on. But tell her point blank you don't want to hear about anyone else's opinion. If they have a backbone they can talk to you themselves. Tell her it's a matter of integrity and honesty.

    ...was so upset, ...anger and frustration...trying to punish me somehow...they have been so angry with me.. I can feel their frustration...Its so weird to see them act like this.

    I think this is a little backlash from your first honest conversations with them. JW's can't handle any negative emotional feedback. Immediately you grow horns and a tail. It takes a while to climb back from that. Just respond calmly and consistently. I've seen Blondie in fine form, and it is amazing how cutting she can be while speaking simple bible truth - which they should know. Keep your demeanor mild, your voice calm, and it's amazing what a JW will take in.

  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite


    Please keep us posted as this develops. Your experience will be helpful to many of us trying to escape.

  • BonaFide

    Thanks for your posts, very helpful. I got a text message from my sister today, the one who called yesterday. She said they are leaving for a few days and that the outside gate will be locked. So they don't want me to use my key to get in. I used to go over there and let myself in to see my mom and sis, I would run upstairs and surprise them and give them a big hug. Every week. Then I would talk about life and whatever and watch TV with my sis. I would help my mom answer some emails or write a talk. If they weren't home, I would leave a gift sometimes, (from the 99 Cent store, I am kinda poor) and then wait for them to call surprised.

    But now they obviously don't want me at their house. The funny thing is, my sister told me yesterday, and I forgot to tell you all, "You know, if it was us a year ago acting like this, you would tell us the same thing. But you CHANGED."

    I have changed. I honestly care about my family now, including my brother, regardless of what they believe. I refuse to act like them and push them away just because they believe differently than me. Of course, they are protecting themselves from me because they "love" me, and they want me to see a doctor to stop saying irrational things.

    And they show that by keeping away from me, going camping for the first time ever without me. When I was a missionary, they used to wait for me to come home on vacation, they said they would never go without me, I am the funnest one in the family.

    I am not as strong and as tough as I pretend to be I guess, because this hurts bad. I know that it is nowhere near what some of you go through, like when your family dies and they don't tell you about the funeral, or the wedding, or they walk right by you. But it hurts me.


  • yknot


  • ninja

    my family wanted me to see a shrink too.......and this is while I was STILL a witness.....he he......don't worry bony.....just get on with your life and annoy them

  • lisavegas420

    Yes, go see the psychiatrist. Go by yourself the first time and then have your sister go the next time. I remember years ago seeing a psychiatrist, he told me I reminded him of a rape victim. I said, "I've never been raped." He said, "Yes, you were spiritually raped." I don't know if that is true or not, but it always stayed with me.

    Also. As far as your mom and sis go. I would not let the others keep me away. Ha, let them try and stop you.


  • carla

    Drugged people are easier to control. Your sister is the one stopping you from seeing your mom & sis? Don't allow it, act as if, as if you have never been happier in your life. If your die hard sister sees you in turmoil over the situation it will be a 'win' in her jw mind. I'm sorry you are going through this.

    I would agree with the therapist who said it was comparble to a spiritual rape, maybe that is why many ex jw's are diagnosed with ptsd. They have been through a trauma and have to learn to live with the ongoing trauma of losing your family even when they are still living. Just wretched, damn cult.

  • truthlover


    So sorry that she cant see what your confusion is about - the child molester in the congregation - does she have children - ask her if she would like them to go with this molester-so called... mention that Jehovah is the one she should be worried about - He will reduce that sicko to dust--she should be marking that person anyway-- seems she is putting all the blame on you --- put some back on her in a loving way and get her mind working.. and if the gate is locked, call your mom , keep it loving , talk about some things, and tell her from your heart of your suspicions, or send a letter, dont let your sister control your other relatives... some one has to be sane

    Sorry for all your trials, be strong and you may have to start your own life, have your own family and let them see you can handle things -


  • BluesBrother

    My wife tells me I am mad, as well...and she means mentally unbalanced.. It is all a part of leaving and having family still in.

    The issues that you raise are much like the ones that troubled me when I was fading, so perhaps we are all nuts together??

    To the dub, they have to create a reason why anyone would want to leave. They cannot bear to think that we might have a reason to go, so they decide that we must be suffering depression, or mental illness because no sane person would deny what they formerly saw as "The Truth". I am told that the Soviet Union used to have the same approach to dissidents, throwing them into mental asylums becauase only a madman would oppose their rule.

    In reality they cannot bear to consider that we disagree with them. "The Truth " is truth because it is their religion and they cannot consider that they could possibly be wrong.

    BTW My wife is too savvy to want me to see a counselor, she knows that they would agree with me and not her

  • jwfacts

    Sorry for the hardship you are going through. It is heartbreaking and frustrating to see your own family put more emphasis on a cult than their own family, and not be able to get through to them what is so obvious to others.

    I too agree that a psychiatrist is a good idea. It will be particularly effective if your sister sat in at to hear what you have to say. As you tell the psychiatrist about your upbringing and religion it may open your sisters eyes. There is not a psychiatrist that will not see the WTS belief structure as harmful.

    Say that you had a wonderful loving family. Then describe the beliefs you were raised with:

    • You would not get to leave school, not grow old.
    • All non JWs are worshipping the Devil
    • Armageddon will soon destroy billions, maybe the fear you felt about not being good enough
    • That now you see it as just another controlling religion but can't leave because if you raise doubts JWs disfellowship and your family will have to cut you off for the remainder of your life

    If your sister claims any of the above is untrue ask her how she will feel if you get some Watchtower quotes to back each of those statements up.

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