road to paradise (witness E-mail)

by darth frosty 25 Replies latest jw friends

  • darth frosty
    darth frosty

    Warning this is the worst witness E-mail I have ever read. If you suffer from gag reflex or have just eaten do not read.

    Excellent analogy and reminder for all of us...

    There was this man who wanted to get into the paradise. He saw this

    shop ahead of him called ' Paradise ' and walked in and asked the man
    standing behind the counter 'how can I get into paradise?' The man
    'No Problem man,' and gave him a 'five foot' plank and took
    him to the
    back of the store. He then showed him a long narrow winding road and
    told him that he had to carry this plank all the way, and when he got to
    the end, he would be in paradise.

    So the man started on his journey walking up this narrow winding road.
    He walked for miles and miles an
    d the plank that he was carrying started
    to get heavy, so he broke off a foot of the plank and continued walking.
    He now had four feet of this plank left and as he progressed on his
    journey, the plank once again started to get heavier and heavier. He
    broke off another foot. He was now left with three feet. He continued
    on his journey as he came closer, he saw this sign that said ' Paradise
    '. Now in order for him to get into paradise he had to cross a cliff
    that was ahead that had a 'five foot' gap!

    The moral of the story is that Jehovah has arranged five weekly meetings
    per week to take us through to paradise. If we miss one, (the one foot
    that the man broke off) or even two, (the other foot that he broke off),
    then we are missing a lot of meetings. This is not the time to be
    slacking off no matter how tired we are on meeting nights. It is going
    to get harder too. Next year we move to three meetings on one night; ifwe miss that day, we will be missing 'three meetings! So let us all
    strive to be at each meeting, no matter how tired mentally or physically
    we might be. I want to see you all in the 'paradise.'
    So let us continue to fight the fine fight. We are too close now, can't
    you feel it?

  • leavingwt

    (I just threw up a little, in my mouth.)

  • Mary

    Surely the dummy could just jump the remaining two feet.

  • New light for you
    New light for you

    but those three meetings in one night kinda reminds me of the trinity......

  • leavingwt

    New Light, Good one! The Triune Meeting

  • DoomVoyager

    Why do witlesses feel compelled to spew off crap about "5 meetings a week"? Starting next year they will only be MEETING each other at the KH 2 times a week, yet they're still babbling on about 5 meetings a week. I don't understand it... beyond the fact that it enables them to spout nauseating pap like this, or better yet, the one about hanging off a tree branch off a cliff with 5 fingers... ugh.

  • hotspur

    If the guy was real caring Guy he would have given him a six-footer so it would span the gap and provide support so he could actually use the damn thing! Not just fill the gap.

    See, they just don't think do they?

  • WTWizard

    Suppose I put the plank in a car and drove to the gap. Then I place the 5-foot plank on the 5-foot gap. Chances are it is either going to fall in, or one end is going to fall in while the guy is trying to cross. It would be safer to just jump that gap--at least you would have some chance.

    Another suggestion is to find a log that is 3 or 4 meters long that is a few meters away from the gap. You could drag it to the gap and cross on that. Or, if you get several dozen smaller branches and use them to bridge the gap, chances are that you could cross safely if you are careful.

    This is another example of how the witlesses can't think out of the box. The five meetings are actually only three (soon to be only two), each with two or three parts. And, unless they are of substantial value (telling people about the dangers of missing meetings is not substantial), they are going to be as unsteady as the plank that touches both edges of the gap when you try to cross. I think I am better off just trying to jump--something I can do easily with a running start.

  • mrsjones5

    Couldn't he just jump. Five feet is not a big leap.

  • drwtsn32
    Couldn't he just jump. Five feet is not a big leap.

    Heh, that's exactly what I was thinking. Lame analogy!

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