Most JWs Don't Leave The "Truth" Even If They Recognize The Lie

by minimus 21 Replies latest jw friends

  • minimus

    I believe that very few Witnesses leave the Organization when they just "know" things aren't right. It's too much for most people to deal with. They need time to assimilate what they're taking in.

    Personally, I read Crisis of Conscience, and still didn't make the lateral move until years afterward. Somehow, I wanted to believe that either I was getting it wrong or that Jehovah would straighten matters in his due time or that my presence as an elder in the Hall would give some individuals a measure of comfort. The bottom line was I wasn't quite ready to leave the Organization that my whole family was proudly in.

    I'm curious, how long did it take YOU to leave once you recognized it really wasn't "The Truth"??

  • tinker

    Yes, me too, I questioned and doubted for a very long time. Really from the time I was a teen in the 60's. I thought I could filter out what I did not believe because it was basically a 'good clean life'. I used to say 'even if Armageddon does not come within my lifetime I have no regrets'.....ahem, Then when I turned 50 and had raised 4 children IN for some reason the scales finally fell from my eyes and I could see that 'good and clean' was not enough. People were being damaged by this organization. It was not 'The Truth' and I could no longer teach it to others as the best way of life. Too many teachings had no scriptural basis and the FDS was flip flopping on too many issues.

    I have now been actively 'OUT' for 5+yrs.

    But regarding the topic, I agree most JW's don't leave even when they recognize the lie. I had a very long conversation with an active JW just this past Fri night over several glasses of scotch. He does not agree with much of the teachings and just takes the parts he likes and does what he wants. He does not agree with the DF position so he meets and greets who he wants. He says the field service time requirements are just a suggestion so he fills in the slip to make them feel good. He just likes the 'good clean lifestyle' The one area that is eating at him is 'no higher education' but he also feels that is just a suggestion. He is a mental health counselor and well educated himself so sees the benefit to a college degree. He felt his high school years were much more morally debauched. College taught him how to take on adult responsibility and deal with adult issues.

    We have a date to get together again and I plan to hit him hard because I see some of those scales coming loose around his eyes.

  • minimus

    It's hard to leave anything when you're brain is impaired.

  • NewYork44M

    Leaving is very very hard. Compounding this for me is that when I learned the truth about the "truth" I was emotionally devastated. Not a good position to make life altering decisions.

    I more than once thought about giving up. If I had I would probably be dead, if not dead I would have given up on life - grossly overweight and on Prozac. But at least my ex wife would be happy.

  • LongHairGal


    I agree with your post, especially about the person who told you he picks and chooses what he wants, etc. I think many JWs are like this but they better not tell anybody. They better keep their feelings to themselves and not vocalize them to the wrong person.

    I know people who wouldn't leave even if an asteriod hit the headquarters. They think because the magic name is attached to the religion that anything wrong will be straightened out...I also know some who have mental issues and it would send them over the edge if they contemplated how much they gave up to be in this religion, and so they stay.


  • kool aid man06
    kool aid man06

    There is a condition known as "sump cost" that I feel comes into play when one is a Jehovah's Witness who knows it is not the "truth" but, somehow still has trouble leaving. You have put in so much time, money, blood sweat and tears, that even though you know it is all a lie, it is hard to give up. Also, most Witnesses do have other family members who are in the cult and they are afraid to leave for fear of being shunned. This is one of the major tactics that the organization uses to keep people in line. It has worked for them for over a hundred years but, due to modern day inventions, such as the internet, they are finally starting to lose their grip. People are finally "waking up" and leaving in droves. Especially the youth are too smart to fall for their destructive and dangerous teachings. The worst thing of all though is many are leaving God and becoming atheists or agnostics because they have been so hurt.That is really sad. We understand these things because we have five children, two who are still in the organization who shun us, and three who no longer care to know about God. Mrs. Kool aid man

  • minimus

    "Sump cost"??? Never heard of it.

    I agree. No one enjoys being shunned by the "friends".

  • NewYork44M
    "Sump cost"??? Never heard of it.

    I think he means "sunk costs."

    These are costs in time, energy, and money that don't go away even if you change your decision.

    Kinda like buying that lemon car. You are stuck with the cost, but you still have to go out and get transoportation.

  • stillajwexelder

    It's too much for most people to deal with. They need time to assimilate what they're taking in. EXACTLY

  • undercover

    It didn't happen overnight..I was having some doubts and felt that something was wrong. I was becoming inactive, but hadn't totally left. But by time I had resorted to searching the Internet, I knew something was seriously wrong and I needed answers. It didn't take long after that to just quit altogether.

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