For those with family members who are shunning you could try them with this (page 2)

sammielee24

The situation is different if the disfellowshipped or disassociated one is a relative living outside the immediate family circle and home", states The Watchtower of April 15, 1988, page 28. "It might be possible to have no contact at all with the relative. Even if there were some family matters requiring contact, this certainly would be kept to a minimum," in harmony with the divine injunction to "quit mixing in company with anyone" who is guilty of sinning unrepentantly. (1 Cor. 5:11) Loyal Christians should strive to avoid needless association with such a relative, even keeping business dealings to an absolute minimum. --- See also The Watchtower of September 15, 1981, pages 29-30.
My parents treat me like some distant disfellowshipped relative, and try to have as little contact as possible. In a letter to me ,they wrote that the August 2002 Kingdom Ministry contained "sound advice" for them.

Yeah..that's the same paragraph Sams family cut out and attached to a letter to us telling us that it would violate their relationship with Jehovah if they had any contact. We haven't heard anything from any of his family and never expect to again..it would be interesting to see how they would handle a relationship if the society suddenly reversed the shunning of family members. sammieswife.

Who are you?

I think being so strict only hurts the Wts, Jesus may have accepted people turned away but he always treated them with love like judas, and he always talked lovingly to them.

What hurts the WTS is not having a clue about Jesus, the Golden Rule, and the messages behind the Sermon on the Mount. Compound that with the fact that they insult every human being's intelligence by proclaiming that Jesus appointed a handful of nosepickers to guide his "earthly organization" throw in some nonsense about "new light" to justify decades of false predictions....and you can finally get to what shunning really is ...a ticket to freedom for the hundreds of thousands of decent people that finally get to clearly see that their family and friends will write them off faster than a speeding bullet because they have made a conscious decision to place a group of nosepickers above their own flesh and blood.

BizzyBee

Renaii,

You have a compassionate heart and that is a good quality. I believe that you are genuinely distressed by the practice of shunning because you know how many have been deeply hurt by it.

The problem with shunning is not just that it is cruel and heartlesss, but it is made 10 times worse by the fact that it is inconsistently applied. And it is inconsistently applied because the WTS has waffled so many times on who, what, when, where and how they want it done.

I was a third generation JW, all witnesses on both sides of my family. True to the statistics, out of 100% JWs when I was growing up, there is now only about 30% of my family who are still in it. So I am familiar with all the DF, DA, fade, etc., configurations.

My brother was DFd around '80. When the 1981 WT was studied at the KH, telling JWs to have nothing to do with even family members, my mother looked at my dad as they left the Hall and said, "I am never setting foot in the KH again." True story. Other family members saw my brother visiting my mom (breaking bread), and ratted her out to the elders (some of whom were also family.) So my mom and dad DA'd to escape what was becoming a witch hunt. I could tell you stories that would near about turn your stomach, what "loving" JWs will do to each other.

Problem is, JW family members blow hot and cold. Twenty years go by with the cold shoulder. Then they want contact. Two years later it's, "I can't associate with you anymore." My mother is 80 and this is very hard on her. She loved her JW parents, brother and sisters, but at the end they all treated her like she was a leper. They are all dead now but for one remaining sister who just pulled yet another flip-flop on my mom. My aunt has also shunned her two daughters for nearly 30 years. She is loyal to a (fickle) organization, not God, and she is a miserably unhappy and conflicted woman.

MissingLink

Have you read your "Keep yourself in gods love" book yet? The message is quite clear. Even close family not living at home are to be completely shunned except for very rare essential family business. You are correct that this is totally against the spirit of Christ's teachings.

reniaa

thankyou for your replies people, :)

I have no idea when I will go back its not an easy thing for me to do because of circumstances beyond my control but if I do go back this is one rule i'll be trying to change from within,

I hope the article proves useful because I think it is worth printing it off and sending to family members that have really enforced the shunning rule abitarily, fighting fire with fire sometimes works and the words of a wt lawyer's intepretation may in print may sway them, sermon on mount is a good quote for me lol.

Homerovah the Almighty

Isn't shunning really protectionism for the powers to be so that they don't lose that power obtained and the money that supports them .......ummmmmm Its a sweet game this God game that men play you have to have a statergy in place though to keep the power at hand or you risk losing it !

OUTLAW

Reniaa..Commendable Thread.....Unfortunately it won`t work..There are 2 sets of Rules for JW`s..The Written.....And ..The Unwritten.....The Written,is for Those who ask you a Question..The Unwritten is for JW`s "Only!".............Welcome to my World................ Laughing Mutley ...OUTLAW

zagor

I’ve been through the worst of it, but after awhile you develop this attitude of “screw ‘em”.

However close or important some people thinks they are to you but are still torturing you with silence, they are really not worth your time and affection anyway regardless of whether they are doing it willingly or by command. Life is too short for that kind of horse-manure. I don’t know I might be an odd one out here, but running after people gets old rather quickly and you just can’t do it anymore. Persisting can only kill YOU not them. So affection must be either mutual or non-existent.

If someone doesn’t enjoy being with you because of whom you ARE then unless you’re prison-bound or otherwise an anti-social outcast, I don’t see a reason why you should have a second thought about their motives or reasons. There are plenty of people out there who would be happy to share your company so why run after those who just don’t want you??!!??

reniaa

Hi bozone thx for the info, here's some more scriptures i hope governing body will read to soften hearts in this case you never know! I will have to trust jehovah will find a way to get them to read it,

10 While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew's house, many tax collectors and "sinners" came and ate with him and his disciples. 11 When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, "Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and 'sinners'?"
12 On hearing this, Jesus said, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. 13 But go and learn what this means: 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.' [a] For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners."

43 "You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor [h] and hate your enemy.' 44 But I tell you: Love your enemies [i] and pray for those who persecute you, 45 that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46 If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47 ? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others Do not even pagans do that? 48 Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

4 They tie up heavy loads and put them on men's shoulders,

this last scripture i've taken out of context because i only think this part applies,

I think its having a balanced view that you can be loving and friendly and caring to your friends and family whatever their spiritual situation, jesus set the president that setting a good example is about being loving not avoiding, there is a place for shunning but only in spiritual sense and making sure you don't allow yourself to be drawn into wrongdoing, Avoidance itself only allows others to be hurt and that makes them blame God or the organisation therefore you are causing what you seek to avoid.

You see guys I recently realised I will always be a Jehovah's witness whether I am one or not because my heart belongs to jehovah it always has, it always will, you have shown me that on this forum and I thank you all :) but know I will do my best when I go back to be a sincere one that you guys would respect! and always treat others with love and kindness. I remember an anointed brother walter from my childhood he kept visiting my mum years after she left the witnesses when no one else came, always chatting on everyday things and giving mum a listening ear and before you say it i don't think he ever put a hours time sheet in he was always too busy writing talks and suchlike at the local library, his second home. He was the humbliest man I ever met, never from him were words of condemnation, he is in my minds eye as the type of witness I aspire to be.

Thankyou for making me welcome on this site simon

jgnat, flipper, gopher, whitedove, llbh, outlaw, bizzybee, boyzone, missinglink (deborah, rebekah, ruth, naom, sarah, mary all just women too hehe theres hope for me yet lol) zagor and any more who've taken time to respond to my posts, Thank you

Reniaa

I don't think I'll be on anymore, kids are back at school and lots of work beckons but I may pop in before the end to say a farwell to the last lingerers. Take care you guys!

Who are you?

I will do my best when I go back to be a sincere one that you guys would respect!

Nobody respects a "poser", no matter how sincere you are in pretending to be something that you aren't. Not a critisism, just an observation.

Best of luck to you!

For those with family members who are shunning you could try them with this

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