Should I try internet dating? Does it work?

Witness 007

Soon I will be seperated and although I will have a break from women I thought about dating web-sites......I don't know how else to do it.

I wouldn't suggest trying to meet women at bars or anything like that. I tried doing that for the short time I was alone after my divorce and it was HORRIBLE. The only guys that were there were extremely immature. The women didn't look to be any better either.

You could maybe try meeting someone at a library or bookstore? I met my husband on JWD and it worked out perfectly. I got to know him via email for awhile, then we started talking on the phone (one note about this, if she lives across the pond, use some sort of cheap rate calling plan, otherwise your phone bill be $1000 before you know it) Anyway, then when I met him in person, it was as if I had known him forever, and he was my best friend. I know others that have met here and it's worked out for them also.

Good luck in the trying the dating scene again. I won't say it's easy, but it's worth it when you find the right one. My brother just got married and he did the online dating thing too.

SnakesInTheTower

I know eHarmony works for some (Mr and Mrs Flipper met that way and told me about it). I have had limited success. I only went on dates with 2 women in real life. 2 dates each. Didnt work out. I get literally hundreds of matches (in a search parameter of the entire US)..... most I close or they close.

I am still talking with a third one via IM and a little by phone now. I think we may end up being friends but I dont know about more than that.

That's my experience with internet dating. While still a JW, I met my now ex-fiancee through her family in the states (she was in an overseas country). We used the internet (IM, webcam, email) to "date". We met in person and she ended it.... so that isnt so great either.. though we "dated" 8 months before our in person meeting.

i am thinking about getting involved in volunteer activities...I said this a year ago but havent had time..Habitat for Humanity...Sierra Club..maybe as a volunteer for one of the regional museum type places (zoo, museums, planetarium, botanical garden, etc)... I would think that would open up a ton of opportunities..

i would say "good luck"...but i think luck has very little to do with it...

Snakes ()

easyreader1970

I don't think that internet dating is any worse than traditional dating. I have heard wonderful stories about it and I have heard horror stories. The same stories you would hear from people who meet people in grocery stores and in night clubs.

The only recommendation that I would make is not to let the online part of your relationships go on too long without actually meeting the individual in person once or twice.

er

serendipity

Try it - what do you have to lose? Expect nothing and then you won't be disappointed. Exchange a few emails to get to know a woman. (Hint: ask questions) Meet for coffee/tea/drinks and make your escape within 15 minutes if the chick is loony. Then you'll have a good story to tell ;-)

Kudra

I've heard lots of success stories- all from totally normal people!

I think people used to assume that only losers used internet dating but that has changed now. Many of my friends (20s, early 30s attractive women, in grad school) have tried it and there are a few who are dating seriously now or who have married.

-K

bigwilly

My .02

Find things you like to do and concentrate on pursuing them. Find fun activities and keep yourself open to meeting new people along the way. This way you are doing something for yourself as well as meeting new people with common interests. Maybe it'll be one of your new friends or possibly one of their friends that you find a connection with. IMO, meeting people face to face without any pressure based on an online or phone relationship is preferable.

Edited to add:

I think you're on the right path as far as allowing yourself time before getting back into the dating scene. In my personal experience and observations, you will be way better off after you allow yourself time to date you for awhile. Take your time, think about shit and give yourself some good self care. Being comofrtable/happy with yourself will can only make any future relationship stronger.

WTWizard

There are major potential pitfalls. The most common is that people can alter their pictures. I remember a TV ad where you had a fat old man with a fat old lady each altering their profile with a digital image of themselves thin and young. They each hit up the other's profile, and were both disappointed when they actually met. Which illustrates the danger of just trusting a profile without a physical trip.

Other, rarer problems can arise. Occasionally someone will pose as younger or older than they actually are, especially above and below the age of consent. More common (and this is the site's responsibility) is that it could be a scam, a fly by night that will take your money and leave you matchless. Or they do a pxxx poor job, leaving you with a bad match.

However, when it does work, it can work quite well. You will need to pick a reliable service and be careful not to get scammed by altered pictures before committing.

yknot

So let me get this straight.... you would be presenting yourself as single, no children, steadily employed and in mid-30's...... sweetie you aren't going to have that big of a problem.

All you have to do is let a few married gals know you are on the market...... they will fix you up!

Don't commit to dates, just drinks..... if you like her, she likes you .....then you can extend a dinner invite and see where it goes.

1. Develop confidence (read-go to the gym, make sure you are up-to-date on sex stuff, assume you are a decent catch deserving of a decent mate)

2. Develop a thicker skin for rejection (must suck to be a guy on that end), ask anything that tickles your fancy and appears to be available for the above scenario. Don't be too forward or too shy....a man at ease with himself is sexy.

Don't make dating your single priority. Women like men to have lives and interest outside of women and homebody activities.

So make a list of things you enjoy (hiking, travel, art, interesting class at nearest University etc) and get involved, again you will either find a nice girl or someone will want to fix you up with one.

I have known a few couples who met on E-harmony....but you really should do some living and rebounding first.

Besides if you are in Australia....you can't really commit to any relationship for at least 12 months... so spend it figuring out your dating pattern and getting buff........ or move to America where girls will fall all over your accent.

crazyblondeb

So let me get this straight.... you would be presenting yourself as single, no children, steadily employed and in mid-30's...... sweetie you aren't going to have that big of a problem.

How about meeting an older woman???

LOL!! I feel you. I've been divorced for quite a while now. I'd really like to meet someone, but between work, and helping my daughter, I don't get alot of time to myself. The thought of "looking" for that someone sends chills down me!!

If you figure a simple way, let me know!

shelley