by minimus 36 Replies latest jw friends
Amama-
We had the same FS experience as children it seems.
I had a dog sic'd on me as well (bit my calf) and f**kheads w/ firearms. The firearm wasn't pointed at me, but rather was aimed at the eldery JW man I was working with (I was standing right next to him).
Lady Zombie...to this day I am deathly afraid of firearms.
After posting that message I was sitting here thinking about how profound an effect being scoffed at and rejected day after day, month after month, and year after year at home, school, and during field service can have on a child. With every slam of the door during field service I would get this sick, sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. I felt immense hatred toward me every day of my life, my opinions NEVER mattered (questioning ANYTHING my parents said resulted in a beating), and I was conditioned to believe I was a BAD child. This during a time when even other kids in my congregation snubbed their noses at me for being a "goodie-two-shoes". I just couldn't win.
My parents STILL insist I am not good enough and I still have a hard time recognizing they are wrong. There's always that little voice in the back of my head that reminds me of everything I ever did "wrong"...so maybe they're right and I really AM not good enough. It's a horrible thing to have to live with. :(
i wanted to die.
Nuff said.
I thought I had the special privilege of being saved, until I started realizing that I was not going to attract any of the "sisters" and end up in the New Dark Ages with nothing but men. At which point I realized that there was nothing of value in ending up in the New Dark Ages. At least it did facilitate my going apostate.
Chickpea, that's the thing that gets me down too - the 'doing more' versus the pretence of 'balance' ... ID
NO IT DID NOT! I lived a life as a Witness for most of my life and always felt guilty about something.Not enough time in service, not at the meetingd enough. What crap. Life is to short to feel bad about yourself all the blessed time!
Whats wrong with you people!..Don`t you know Jehovah`s Witness`s are the "Happiest People on Earth!".....
...OUTLAW
