Dear Santa ooooops wrong thread
Dear Governing body,
Since I never got x-mas presents,birthday presents, or to go trick or treatin I was wondering if you could send me a teddy bear. It don't have to be a new one,used will be fine. I grew accustomed to not getting new things and accepting hand me downs a long time ago since we were to put the Company first.
you may be wondering why i want a teddy bear. WEll I figure since I was long overdue for a present that I wanted something I could beat the stuffing out of like was done to me if I misbehaved at the meetings as a kid or didn't live up to all the expectations of me as I was growing up. I figure a teddy bear can't tell on me and without two witneses to see it and no one will believe I did it anyhow.
Kinda reminds me of the kids that were told to be quiet and that kids were meant to be seen not heard.
I would ask for two teddy bears but I am fraid some might think I was materialistic for wanting more than one.
And don't you worry none,I will make sure after I have beaten Teddy's rear end with a paddle or hickory or belt (or whatever is lying around handy) that I will explain that it is for his own good and that soon we will be in the New Stuffing of things and all his inwards will be back good as new.
your loving brother
Stonewall
What Would You Like to Tell The Governing Body?
by AK - Jeff 43 Replies latest jw friends
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StoneWall
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Dagney
Dear Governing Body,
As a result of two thirds vote, the following changes are effective immediately:
- Celebration of all holidays will now commence
- Disfellowshipping, disassociation, shunning and all forms of punishment are to be banished from the land
- The accepting of blood transfusions is a conscience matter
- In fact everything is a conscience matter
- Close your printing factories for goodness sake...please save the world from that rubbish you put out for the last 100 years
- Apologize to each and every R & F you have treated like crap, in fact, while you are at it, apologize to the whole world for the incessant house visits and public pestering with that rubbish you print
- Bring back picnics and social events, they are to take priority over any scheduled meetings
- Look after widows and orphans, (I can't believe I have to tell you this one) and any or all that are having a tough go of it, in fact just look after everybody, personally call them up and ask what you can do for them
- Immediate send everybody to the college of their choice at your expense
- Turn over any abuse or pedophile issues to the authorities and professionals. Make all pedos you allow to attend meetings wear a giant lime green "P" 24/7, and make them stand in the corners
If I think of anything else, I'll let you know.
Regards.
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StoneWall
Ummmm why are you guys in the new books getting younger instead of older?
(oh the thread title says what would we like to tell not ask the GB. My bad)
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cameo-d
Your day is coming!