I am So Angry

by GoddessRachel 43 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  GoddessRachel

  I Hate Everything. I am so angry at my mother, at my father, my sister, my brother. Nobody understands me. My own boyfriend can't stand me. Why would he? I can't even stand me.

  I don't know why we suffer through this joke called human existance. It must be some kind of elaborate joke that somebody or something is playing on us. If I could be selfish enough I'd do myself in. But it would be unfair to hurt my grandma like that. So I just continue on in this poor excuse of a life and hope that the end comes soon.

  What kind of pathetic loser makes a post like this anyway? A desperate lonely pathetic loser. That would be me.
• 

  John Doe

  If I could be selfish enough I'd do myself in. But it would be unfair to hurt my grandma like that.

  Rachael, you don't have to live like that. Pick up the phone and call a counselor to make an appointment. Life is too short to accept being miserable.
• 

  GoddessRachel

  Thanks, John Doe, but I don't have enough money to afford the luxury that is therapy. (P.S. I know I'm being unreasonable right now; I just can't help it right now. I'm so sick and tired of the BS. I'm just so TIRED!)

  Thanks for reaching out though, friend, I don't deserve it. But I do appreciate it.
• 

  BabaYaga

  Can't afford it? Sometimes we can't afford NOT to.
  
  Love and strength to you, Goddess Rachel... go right now and make a list of everything you are good at, and everything that makes you smile.
  
  Love,
  Baba.
• 

  compound complex

  Dear Rachel,

  I am generally happy but can relate absolutely to your sentiments. It's not so much that I wish to die as I am simply tired of living. Sure, we try to make the best of our circumstances, but none of us is immune to what you've now described.

  You have your Grandma and I have this or that individual who "needs" me. That spurs me on despite how rotten I may be feeling. You are a worthy person in our opinion, though, of course, many of us are not personally acquainted with one another. You probably get my drift.

  Please hang in there and allow this churning within you to subside. JWD has helped me to be calm and reasonable. Well, I'm better than I was!

  Does this rose make you feel better?

  Love,

  CoCo
• 

  Billy the Ex-Bethelite

  What kind of pathetic loser makes a post like this anyway? A desperate lonely pathetic loser.

  Hey, sounds like me not so long ago. Welcome to the Desperate Lonely Pathetic Loser Club! Or, DLPLC (delp-lak) for short. Checking my membership list... you're privileged to be member #2... GoddessRachel, right after me.

  Don't worry. There are no membership dues, secret handshakes, or required field service hours. However, your very first requirement, based on this part of your post...

  I'm just so TIRED!

  ... is, GET SOME SERIOUS SLEEP, REST, RELAXATION, RECUPERATION!!! Then, have lunch or a nice talk with your grandma. Apologize to your BF if needed, I hear that "making up" can be fun. If I remember correctly from your earlier posts, you've been burning the candle at both ends. If I'm right... get some rest... RIGHT NOW... LOGOFF... I MEAN IT!!

  B the X... hope you feel better soon
• 

  yknot

  If you are in the US, check with your state's mental health department. Many services are free or reduced.

  I am sorry you are having a rough go of things right now.

  Sending you good vibes!
• 

  flipper

  RACHEL- My friend , please try to get to know what is causing you this anger. Yes people cause it in us. But it is the things people do that create the anger , actions from them. As John Doe said , get some counseling from a therapist. See if there are programs in your area that could give you financial assistance to do so. We care unconditionally for you here. Don't live your life full of anger. Comes a time in our lives when we reach an impasse , we can't go forward, but we can't go backward , however we must do something positive to survive. Take that positive step. We will be on your side cheering you on friend. Peace be with you tonight, get some sleep, Peace out, Mr. Flipper
• 

  Persephone69

  GoddessRachel, I don't know you and I'm not going to pretend to understand your circumstances but you have it right when you say it's a selfish act. SO many people would be hurt but such a terrible thing.

  I understand that right now you feel like it's the only way to get out of a bad situation but it's still a permanent solution to what is probably a very temporary situation. If you can, try to sit back and see what the root of the problem. You said you weren't happy with yourself. From what I hear, you are a very caring, giving person on this board. Often people like that don't give time for themselves. When was the last time you did something for yourself? Doesn't have to be a big thing. Just something that made you feel good. A pedicure....a bubble bath....got out of the house and went to the park or to a book store to just sit and read.

  You know, therapy doesn't have to cost much of anything. Often they will do it on a sliding fee. Most police departments have family/individual counselling. Don't be skurred. lol It's just counseling. Having a neutral person to look at the situation from the outside often gives you a different perspective on how to tackle the problem.

  Peace

  P
• 

  Double Edge

  Dear Rachel....

  First of all, take a deep breath and slowly exhale.......

  Everyone.... and I mean EVERYONE gets to a certain age or point in this "journey" we call LIFE and feels EXACTLY the way you do...so your're not alone. The difference, at this very moment, is that most of us have figured out a way to get on and through this journey without being overwhelmed by those feelings. So, your task, isn't in figuring out "what the h*ll is life all about" and "why do I have to go through all of this crap", but rather what CAN I do to be empowered to handle this journey, and not sit back and be reactive to the onslaught of "life". I am not a psychologist, but I am someone who can tell you what works for me (everyone's different).

  1. Keep things simple (in fact there's a little book called "Don't Sweat the small stuff....(and it's all small stuff)"

  2. Whatever is bothering me, I break it down into smaller tasks, feelings, situations (whatever) that can be handled

  3. It's hard at first, but don't cheat yourself out of looking at the POSITIVES in life (look around, they're EVERYWHERE) ... you'll be surprised at how just changing your focus into another direction can deminish the negatives.

  4. Talk to someone... especially a professional (they're available for free ... you just have to do some research) they can give you the tools to put you on the right track so you won't have to be "suffering" so.

  Try to remember..... when you get down the road 10, 15, 20, or 30 years from now, you WILL look back at the way you use to think and give "power" to mostly insignificant things and think to yourself... "whatever"...and "what was I thinking"...

  this is my 2 cents, given out of concern that you're not feeling great, and knowing that the gift of LIFE is truly worth living - the good, the bad and the ugly.

  D.E.