You will never overcome your Witness past...

by JimmyPage 42 Replies latest jw friends

  • Scarred for life
    Scarred for life

    Yes, beksbks, I have a wonderful husband that showers me with love. He doesn't understand everything but he knows that I did not feel loved as a child and never got the nurturing that I needed. He has tried his best to make up for lost time but , alas, I still struggle. It is hard to get past those childhood wounds. I also have 3 children that I have good relationships with. I think I have done a fair job of being a loving parent to them. ( With my husbands help)

    It sounds like you have the same feelings as me.

  • beksbks
    beksbks

    I was thinking you sound very much like me :-) .

  • amicus
    amicus

    Deprogram is a more accurate term. Most of, if not all of us here are high risk PUI's. So Jimmy's meaning is pretty clear to this crowd.

    One has to go beyond the simple act of removing oneself from the WTBTS and all that entails. That is step one, step two is making a conscious effort to begin the deprogramming process. I, like many others began step two here, but there are many other paths available.

  • Turkey Sandwich
    Turkey Sandwich

    I dunno, my "out" was science and history. It was only after I decided religion as a whole was a sham that I read anything apostate.

  • Tatiana
    Tatiana

    My scars and lingering wounds are not due to me still believing that anything the JWs say is "the truth". I have not believed a word of their teachings for at least 32 years. There was maybe a 3 year period before that that I left the meetings and all that crap but still had lingering doubts. But that is long, long gone.

    My scars and wounds are emotional. From the lies, the control, the brainwashing, the separation from "the world", the conditional love and friendships. Those horrendous and frightening "dramas and the conventions would scar anyone. And all the obsession with sex. I think that constitutes sexual abuse right there. Children should not be listening to all that. There is no respect for children at all in JW.

    I have trouble trusting ANYONE. I have struggled with extremely poor self-esteem. I still struggle with feeling "different" from most people and on the sidelines.

    I would imagine that almost anyone that was raised from birth in this cult would have many of these same issues.

    Yes...that's it.

  • beksbks
    beksbks

    When at my lowest point, I told a friend that I felt like a gnarled misshapen tree in a forest of tall straight ones. She said those are the ones that are the most interesting

  • beksbks
    beksbks

    The Cracked Pot

    A water bearer in India had two large pots, each hung on each end of a pole which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, and while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water at the end of the long walk from the stream to the masters house, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water in his masters house.

    Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect to the end for which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do.

    After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you."

    "Why?" asked the bearer. "What are you ashamed of?"

    "I have been able, for these past two years, to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your masters house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don't get full value from your efforts." The pot said.

    The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his compassion he said, "As we return to the masters house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path."

    Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice of the sun warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path, and this cheered it some. But at the end of the trail, it still felt bad because it had leaked out half its load, and so again the Pot apologized to the bearer for its failure.

    The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of your path, but not on the other pots side? That's because I have always known about your flaw, and I took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back from the stream, you've watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my masters table. Without you being just the way you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house."

    Each of us has our own unique flaws, but it's the cracks and flaws that make our lives so interesting and rewarding.

  • BabaYaga
    BabaYaga

    BeksBeks, I absolutely love that "crack pot" story! I'm hangin' onto that one and sharing it myself.

    Thanks.
    Love,
    Baba.

  • amicus
    amicus

    I enjoyed the cracked pot story, but this was succinct.

    When at my lowest point, I told a friend that I felt like a gnarled misshapen tree in a forest of tall straight ones. She said those are the ones that are the most interesting
  • Junction-Guy
    Junction-Guy

    This was a good topic Jimmy and I agree with you.

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