by jamiebowers 35 Replies latest jw friends
Mouthy, will there come a time when you'll quit stickin' your hand into the fire?
I quit calling my parents, I was tired of being rejected and hurt. My husband and children said they were tired of seeing me hurt, ...sometimes the pain would go on for days. over and over same ole thing. I'm done.
I'll just stick with the ones I know love me...and know how to show it.
lisa
(((Granny)))
And everyone else who lost their family.
We should have a little tissue icon for these teary-eyed threads. My God, to find out your father is dead on the internet??!! While, I've never had any experiences like these (thankfully), I do remember a lady in my congregation with a df'd daughter.
Sometime in the 80's some new light flashed up in the WT about shunning and treatment of df'd relatives. There was an elderly sister named Grace whose daughter had been df'd for probably 15+ years, but she had continued contact with her. Well, the WT said that was a no-no and a disfellowshipping offense. This dear lady rode all the way home clutching that WT and crying! She loved her daughter and knew she would never return to the "fold".
How someone can worship and love an organization (not Got) more than their own child is beyond my grasp.
Mouthy, will there come a time when you'll quit stickin' your hand into the fire?
I doubt it!! I get bits of hell while I am here getting burned better than having it all at once !
I do have a question for anyone who experiences such severe shunning: Have you tried just confronting the relative ... ?
There comes a point where we can start to look foolish. I have an xJW friend who has been missing the company of her parents ever since she left JWs. They had always been a close family, but since she walked away from the organization they show no interest, not even in her son who is of course their grandson. This has been going on since before he was born, which is about ten years ago. This bothers her, and she has phoned them just to say she loves them. She sends them cards and other little things her child has made with them in mind. What she gets in return is just more disinterest and callousness. I and others have told her to move on with her life and to enjoy the companionship of others who will love her and her son genuinely, but she thinks she's doing "the Christian thing" by trying to keep in touch. What she can't seem to see is that her parents are gleeful at what they think is "weeping and gnashing of teeth by someone who has lost God's favor and approval," even though that's what they told her at least once. According to a "weak" publisher in their congregation, they tell other JWs whenever she calls, and they in turn gloat due to what they describe as "misery in the life of an apostate, something that everyone who abandons God's organization deserves."
I know another xJW who tries to keep in touch with his JW relatives, and they too take delight in seeing "an apostate" groveling and wimpering, and they hang up on him at points in their brief phone discussions where he mentions or hints that he wishes the family relationships could be what they used to be. Sometimes his mother hangs up as soon as she recognizes his voice when he says hello. He said nobody would answer the door the few times he went to their home. He said he saw the curtain move each time while he was being watched from the inside. That kind of thing happens in other families I've heard of, and in my own family as well.
Frank
Granny and everyone else: I'm so sorry we must experience these things as fallout of once belonging to a cult!
This is why I've never tried to contact my mom except in cases of need of medical information.
"weeping and gnashing of teeth by someone who has lost God's favor and approval," even though that's what they told her at least once. According to a "weak" publisher in their congregation, they tell other JWs whenever she calls, and they in turn gloat due to what they describe as "misery in the life of an apostate, something that everyone who abandons God's organization deserves."
naracissic toxic behavior by some of my relatives has caused me to make sure I spent time with elderly relatives who matter... before they die.
I left the funeral drama and post estate festivities to the vultures.
Hill
Both of my parents died shunning me, Father (1988) and Mother (2000) I left in 1980. I now have siblings and children that have shunned me for 28 years. Where's the love.
Well, I was having a good morning until I read this post and saw some of the answers.
I am sorry for everyone that has had this happen to them.
I do want to say to the posters that send little notes or samples of grandchildren's art: Maybe a few of the families do tell others at the KHall-but I'll bet they cherish the message and the pictures.
Don't give up on family that you love. Don't be the one to shun in return. In the end, you must live with yourself when your parents are gone. Know when it is all said and done, and they have died, that you did all you could to show respect and love, even if they didn't return it.
This surely could not have been anything that Jesus intended.
Ferret: I'm so sorry for all of that.
Don't give up on family that you love. Don't be the one to shun in return. In the end, you must live with yourself when your parents are gone. Know when it is all said and done, and they have died, that you did all you could to show respect and love, even if they didn't return it.
Good idea. I try to do that in a way. Since I organized the reunion last October, I had invitations printed and sent to EVERYONE, even though I knew the jws wouldn't come. Then after the reunion, I had cards printed up with a snowflake scene recapping the reunion and sent them to EVERYONE, even if they didn't attend. Invitations for this year's reunion have already been mailed to EVERYONE, even though I know the jws won't come again this year, and I'll probably do the recapping cards again too for EVERYONE.
