At this point, it might be a good idea to make it clear that you are finished. It looks like you are going to be disfellowshipped, whether sooner or later. You can do things the hard way (by fighting it, trying to comply, attempting to "repent". This may work for a time, but it will be extremely stressful and you will be hounded mercilessly to make sure you are complying.
Or you can do it the easy way. Don't cooperate. Don't give them anything. Don't show up for your judicial hearing. Tell them that you are going to believe what you want, not what they want you to. You will still be disfellowshipped. However, it will bypass the stress of repeated houndings. And, from then on, you will be able to do pretty much as you believe.
However, there is still the "head" of the household. If he continues being a believer, you will still have to comply with certain things. You will not be able to decorate your home for Christmas or have guests for a Christmas party because he will have the stuff taken down. There is a pretty good chance that he will still have witlesses coming at the house for pit stops. But, you will be able to miss all the boasting sessions, pray to Jesus and not Jehovah (or not pray at all), and study whatever Bible you want, on your terms and not the Filthful and Disgraceful Slavebugger's. And if your husband is guilted into separation, and you do not remarry or commit adultery, you will be free to celebrate holidays (bonus: he will not be able to remarry without a judicial committee for "adultery" if you hadn't already remarried or committed adultery yourself).
