Shunning was very painful for me, especially since my mom had died only two weeks before. And I went to her funeral, of course, still "in". My kids knew I was on my way out and they shunned me even though I was not officially df'd yet. I did not even get a sympathy card from them. That hurt a lot.
I remember after being df'd and before I moved away, I ran into another disfellowshipped woman in the mall. This df'd woman was afraid of me, since she was trying for many years to be reinstated, but the elders resisted letting her back in. I spoke to her first, I just said hi. The df'd woman looked around, hoping nobody would see us together. Then she said, "We better not be seen together. You know I'm trying to get back." And she walked away with her tail between her legs.
As the first shunnings happened, it was deeply painful for me. Then I began to realize I was taking things personally. I don't have to take the shunning personally, as the shunners are only following fear-based rules. They are not responding to what is truly in their hearts. If they responded to what was in their hearts, they would be unable to shun, since shunning goes against human nature---it's abusive. We are all human and no one is better than someone else.
Now I view shunning as "speechlessness". The dubs are speechless because I had the nerve to leave the borg, in spite of being born and raised into it, brainwashed to the gills. It took some nerve for me to leave and recover from the religious indoctrination.
I have since moved far away, and I believe that has helped me a lot to move on with a much healthier balanced life.
Glad you are here. I will not be shunning you.
Hugs,
ESTEE
