Graduation and elders meeting!

why???

Hi everyone, I'm not new here just haven't posted in a while. For those who remember me I'm GRADUATING from college on Wednesday!!!! I'm very happy but there's still a dark cloud (pardon the dramatic-ness) I am still with my non-Jw boyfriend of almost three years and I've let my parents know that we want to get married (next month) and they went and told the elders(they did it kinda behind my back) who now want to meet and talk with me! I'm not scared of them but I'd rather not tell them anything that would make them talk to me again. I just want to leave without any other committees forming. Does anyone; esp anyone who's been in this position, know the best way to handle the meeting? Do I : Fake repentance, show blatant disregard, indifference or what??? I feel really bad because my parents are so sad but they dont understand how I feel or think anymore I've changed so much that I could never really tell them how I feel without upsetting them more- if you know what I mean. Any sincere thoughts welcomed. Thanks Congrats to all my fellow graduates!!! - why???

searchingforfriends

Congrats on your graduation and upcoming marriage! Can you just dodge the elders and maybe they will give up? You can also refuse to speak to them outright. I would be careful of faking repentance since that may give your parents false hope, and they'll end up hurt even more when it's taken away and you won't be able to fake it forever.

choosing life

Congrats on graduation! As far as meeting with the elders, go if it keeps peace. A close friend of mine was in a similar situation with dating an "unbeliever". She listened to their counsel and told them she would consider it thoughtfully.

The one thing you don't want to do is allow them to make you feel guilty and confess to anything. They are either looking for dirt or trying to save you from yourself. Neither is necessary. If you choose to marry "out of the truth", expect your marriage to be shunned by the witnesses and family that are still in the lie. A good reason to go away to marry, maybe a nice trip to the Bahamas, Virgin Islands, etc.

83501nwahs

Do not meet with them. Do not say a single word to them ever again. Do not allow them in your home. Do not answer their calls. I can't stress strongly enough how mportant this is if you don't want to be disfellowshipped. Do not ever trust your parents with personal information again. They will put their religion before you. They will narc you out.

Do not meet with them. Do not say a single word to them ever again. Do not allow them in your home. Do not answer their calls. I can't stress strongly enough how mportant this is if you don't want to be disfellowshipped. Do not ever trust your parents with personal information again. They will put their religion before you. They will narc you out.Do not meet with them. Do not say a single word to them ever again. Do not allow them in your home. Do not abswer their calls. I can't stress strongly enough how mportant this is if you don't want to be disfellowshipped. Do not ever trust your parents with personal information again. They will put their religion before you. They will narc you out.Do not meet with them. Do not say a single word to them ever again. Do not allow them in your home. Do not abswer their calls. I can't stress strongly enough how mportant this is if you don't want to be disfellowshipped. Do not ever trust your parents with personal information again. They will put their religion before you. They will narc you out.Do not meet with them. Do not say a single word to them ever again. Do not allow them in your home. Do not abswer their calls. I can't stress strongly enough how mportant this is if you don't want to be disfellowshipped. Do not ever trust your parents with personal information again. They will put their religion before you. They will narc you out.Do not meet with them. Do not say a single word to them ever again. Do not allow them in your home. Do not abswer their calls. I can't stress strongly enough how mportant this is if you don't want to be disfellowshipped. Do not ever trust your parents with personal information again. They will put their religion before you. They will narc you out.Do not meet with them. Do not say a single word to them ever again. Do not allow them in your home. Do not abswer their calls. I can't stress strongly enough how mportant this is if you don't want to be disfellowshipped. Do not ever trust your parents with personal information again. They will put their religion before you. They will narc you out.

Wasanelder Once

If you are living with your boyfriend and your parents are witnesses to this fact, or there are others that are witnesses to this fact, your goose is cooked as they say. No matter what you say you will be cooked. They will see any confession as merely remorse over being caught. If you had been attending meetings they would see you as having made a mistake or backsliding. At this point it would be too late. You will be DF'd likely and have to get reinstated. Of course there is the chance that they are really soft on Theocratic crime and your tears and contrite speech may impress them. Doubtful though. Crappy situation, sorry. W.Once

garybuss

I wouldn't fake repentance or anything else at Witness city so my parents who ratted me out would still talk to me. Screw em all!

If I need a Witness in my life, I'm gonna do whatever it takes to change the circumstances that maintain that need. If I depend on them for money, I'm gonna get a job, if I depend on them for love, I'm gonna get a dog. I'm not gonna maintain a connection with a Witness.

I've found the best thing between me and Witnesses is distance. 100 miles seems about right.

shamus100

Don't meet with them - call display works great. Delete phone messages without listening to them.

chickpea

well first off, congrats on everything exciting and wonderful in your life!!.... things unattainable to you were you still a droning captive in the b0rg machinery

sorry your family is so eager to make trouble for you .... it seems almost incongruous that you have such regard for THEIR feelings when they have no compuntion about going behind your back to unleash the pitbulls of propriety to sentence you to a life apart from the ones you love.....

it is all about love, right?

choosing life

Hey, maybe I didn't read you right the first time. If you are living with your boyfriend, that's a whole different situation. If that's the case, you might want to avoid the meeting. Sad part is, if two family members want to rat you out, you can be dfd without the meeting.

If they don't have two witnesses against you, don't be the second one yourself. Once again, congrats on the college degree and best wishes to you.

LovesDubs

How about telling them that you just spent four HARD years working towards this graduation and you dont need a bunch of dementor elders or your parents who should be CELEBRATING THIS TIME TOO by the way.....SUCKING THE JOY OUT OF IT!

Graduation and elders meeting!

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