Embarassed at school for being a Witness - Did this happen to you?

by Witness 007 51 Replies latest jw experiences

  • sandy
    sandy

    I never wanted to stand out so I always participated in everything. I stood for the pledge of allegiance and recited it too. LOL
    In elementary school I made all the holiday arts and crafts. If the holiday gifts were not too pagan looking I'd take them home and give them to my mom. All the other arts n crafts I throw in the garbage can on the way home from school. I love my brother, he never once told on me. He is a loyal brother to this day!

    I didn't have any witness kids around till High School. There was one girl in JR High who was a witness. I didn't know until the eighth grade she was a witness. We never had classes together and she went to a KH out of my area.

    One day I saw a WT and Awake in her folder and I thought oh Crap! I'm going to be busted now. LOL I wasn't really friends with her and barely said a few words to her in JR High. But I was kind of stressed about going to High School.

    I was worried, how was I going to explain celebrating holidays one minute and being banned from it over night. LOL And an even scarier thought . . .

    What if I am called out? I knew I'd be going to HS the next year with witness kids from my local KH.

    Thankfully I was a wallflower and nobody ever found out. LOL I was pretty invisible it seems.

  • Mysterious
    Mysterious

    I remember there was a bit of a fuss here with two camps -- one stood for the anthem and the other did not. My kindergarten teacher grabbed my cousin and I by the wrist and physically lifted us in the air so we completely cleared the ground, it hurt to say the least. It was shortly after that we got the stand but don't sing instructions, a bit too late. I was so glad to have left before my grad though I shook from nerves the whole time I was singing the national anthem.

    I remember in kindergarten my cousin hadn't been told that mother's day was "bad" so I had to "save" him and set him straight on that so he wouldn't make a card. My teachers mostly had me do the crafts in ways that were less holidayish. Like I made a knitting basket instead of an easter basket (yarn instead of eggs, etc) etc.

    The worst for me was always remembrance day and having to be excused to go to the library. In elementary school I got written notes excusing me. In middle school I had to deal with explaining to the teacher in front of everyone why I couldn't go. When I got into high school I was so sick of explaining I just booked it and went AWOL for the whole morning and got hauled to the principal's office for skipping class. The worst was the year the languages teacher demanded an explanation in french in front of the whole class.

    Service was a whole other story. I got mooned once by a kid from my class. Another time this girl everyone hated thought I was her new friend because I actually placed magazines with her. Finally there was the boy that spat on me in front of everyone in gym class for coming to his house. And one of his friends punched me repeatedly while the gym teacher actually laughed. Little wonder the first time someone tormented me when I was out of the JWs I punched her so hard they had to x-ray her ribs

    Books were bad too. I still remember when mom found out what harry potter was about. I used to have to sit outside the classroom when the teacher read Matilda to us in fourth grade as well. And sit doing math while everyone celebrated class birthdays. Or be the doofus in band who sat there while everyone else played God Save the Queen or the national anthem. Of course no overnight trips and no honor band because that was on meeting nights. No after school activites, no parties, no friends outside the cong. I still can't seem to make friends even to this day and I don't think I will ever be able to despite being fairly well spoken, intelligent, reasonably well looking and kind hearted. I'm just..awkward when it comes to socializing and I know it all goes back to being a JW.

  • Pallbearer
    Pallbearer

    Annointeds Daughter and AnnOMaly:

    Thanks for the references that each of you provided. I reviewed all 3 of them (from out of the 1960, 1974, and 2002 Watchtower magazines.

    The 1960 issue:

    According to custom, one indicates that he is in sympathy with the sentiments of this song merely by standing [rising]. This fact was highlighted by the action of certain Allied officers who refused to stand at the playing of the German national anthem some time after World War II. Since the Christian is not in sympathy with the sentiments of any national anthem of this old world, he may not give others the impression that he is by rising when it is being played or sung.

    The 1974 issue:

    Frequently, the practice is for all in attendance at a flag-salute ceremony [Pledge of Allegiance] to stand and personally salute the flag as a pledge of allegiance to this image of the State. In such a situation the mere act of standing likely is not in itself viewed as an act of worship. Therefore, many true Christians have seen no objection to standing respectfully, but not saluting and saying the pledge. ....

    With regard to the national anthem, sometimes those in a group are expected to stand and sing. This situation, then, would be comparable to what was just mentioned regarding a national flag. However, more often the audience is expected merely to stand while the anthem is played or while it is sung by one person (a soloist) but not by all. In this case, one’s standing would denote approval of the words and sentiments expressed in the song.

    The 2002 issue:

    When national anthems are played, usually all a person has to do to show that he shares the sentiments of the song is to stand up. In such cases, Christians remain seated. If they are already standing when the national anthem is played, however, there is no need for them to take the special action of sitting down. It is not as though they had specifically chosen to stand for the anthem. On the other hand, if a group are expected to stand and sing, then merely standing up out of respect but not singing would not constitute sharing in the sentiments of the song.

    Insofar as the 3 references above are concerned, only the 2002 issue had anything to say about a person "already standing" when the national anthem began, and in such a case there would be no need to sit down.

    So I think that this is the 'change in view' that you referred to earlier. However, I'm not certain that one could correctly call it a "change in view". For it to be a change in view, wouldn't the WTS had to have first taught that a JW should not remain standing if he happened to be standing when the anthem began? If the WTS never taught that, then there hasn't been a "change in view" then, has there? Perhaps the word "clarification" is more in order?

    By the way, AD, in answer to your question: "What was your experience?" I was 25 years old before coming in contact with the WTS, so I never faced the neutrality issue during my school years. To tell you the truth, I can't really remember an instance when any of my teachers had the class recite the pledge of allegience. I don't think that we ever did that in the schools I went to. Nor can I remember ever being at school and hearing the national anthem played. Perhaps they both happened, and I've just forgotten. It has been a long, long time since I was in school.

    Thanks again for the references. I was able to look them up on my 2006 edition of the WT Library.

  • Pallbearer
    Pallbearer

    Mysterious said:

    I remember there was a bit of a fuss here with two camps -- one stood for the anthem and the other did not.

    "A bit of a fuss here"? That's interesting! Do you mean to say that there was a disagreement on this issue between people of the SAME congregation?

  • av8orntexas
    av8orntexas

    My Mom started studying when I was in Middlle School, and at that point I was heavily into football. I somehow managed to weasle may way into playing all through high school, until one sister who played in the band, opened her mouth in service one day about me playing. I did find it interesting that no one said anything about her, as I felt it was bad association. In that local area of Texas any school function or group was bad association. Tired as I was, I'd keep my fat mouth shut about being tired on Tuesady and Thursday nights after Practice. Saturdays morning after ganmes were a pain. And yes, I i'd salute the flag before the game as the coaches and staff would be wonering what the hell your problem was, all the while I was scared to death the friends would be at the game and spot me.

    Well when the brothers got a whiff of my bad associations they quickly called my mom and filled her head with how it would be bad it would be for me to continue on with these boys who had nothing in common with me, yada yada yada.....Well she told me come straight home after school, tell the coach goodbye, and that was the beginning of the end. I wasn't teased, as I didn't get baptized until the second half of my senior year, but my coach thought I was psissing away a great chance at a possible schorlaship. My friends were pretty cool,but a few did start to call me church boy, and laugh at the fact that I "found Jesus" . I did develop a bad habit of accidently calling some of my teachers 'brother or sister' which would open up an avalanche of questions from ther kids, spare me,lol

    School was just fine until my senior year

  • digderidoo
    digderidoo

    I would get embarassed standing outside for the morning assembly. The room 3 (2 girls and me) of us stood in was the foyer entrance to the hall. So if our class arrived early one by one every kid in the school would walk past us each morning. Eventually i suppose we got used to it, but every morning we were reminded that we were different.

    Then there was always a teacher at one time or another, generally a JW hater, that would single me out for a bit of ridicule. There was one who would always try to get us into the assembly, sometimes physically, Grandad Greensill we used to call him as he was nearing retirement. On one occasion he had got the one girl in and she was looking at me as if to say ' what do i do? ", i had to explain to him that there is no way we are going into the assembly, all of this in front of the whole hall.

    Then there were the nicknames, ' Jeova, Jovo, Jesus, Moses, Kingdom Hall '

    Oh the old school days, weren't they lovely for a JW kid.

    Paul

  • SG Seattle
    SG Seattle

    Everything I did felt like a bad witness. It was a state of permanent humiliation that's only starting to go away, a year after my last memorial.

    I was such a weirdo anyway ;) and an underachiever when I got to high school, that it felt like just *existing* gave a negative impression of JW's. Every time something weird came out of my mouth, or I didn't finish my homework, it was like a major sin. So I avoided telling anyone unless I had to, and made up other excuses to not do holidays etc. But then I still wasn't being a good witness.

    I felt like a bad witness for not being able to prove my illogical beliefs to them (like they always show in demonstrations). I couldn't explain why we don't celebrate Thanksgiving (U.S.). Aren't we thankful for the religious freedoms we have in this country? Why don't you take blood? Out of respect for life, I said.

    I couldn't even support human rights for a non-witness. I was the only person who didn't sign a petition for the Dalai Lama.

    I played along with evolution by adding "Scientists believe" to all my answers. But then I went to my teacher's door and he chewed me out, saying you of ALL people should know better than this. Which was a bad witness.

    Girls would chase me around. People would show me porn in class and I didn't have the courage to say no, so I pretended it had no effect. Then people thought I was gay. Which was a bad witness.

    Had a few loner-weirdo type worldly friends. (The only other witness in my school was a GIRL and I had a CRUSH on her :-0 so I pushed her away ... come to think of it, I still do that with women 15 years later.) Gave my best friend a WT book for a graduation present, almost apologetically. When you make up bad excuses not to associate outside of school, friends get pretty insulted. And of course, hanging out with them on campus was a bad witness.

  • Hellrider
    Hellrider
    Then there were the nicknames, ' Jeova,

    God, yes. Once, in the winter time, me and my mom was surrounded by 30 kids and teenagers, shouting "Jeovas, Jeovas", while throwing snowballs at us. I just wanted the ground to open up and swallow me. The fact that people always referred to me as a "Jehovahs", and didn`t even know the proper term (jehovahs witness) annoyed me even further. And to add to that, I wasn`t even technically a Jehovahs Witness, I was just a kid (not baptised yet). No wonder I was constantly angry (and still is).

    Here`s a funny one, btw: On the other side of the street from the hall, there lived a kid from my school, that I knew. Of course, I always walked, trying to hide my face, when leaving the hall. He and some other kids always had fun with scratching the back window of the KH with styrophone and stuff, during the meetings. One time, he went to far, and while leaving the hall, we heard like a "pop", and I saw one of the elders grab his neck, and he was bleeding. It turned out this kid from school had shot at us with his bee-bee-gun (air-gun), and hit the elder in the neck. It turned into a big thing, with meetings at our school and everything. And I was in the middle of all of it. Yet another embarassing experience to add to the story of my life.

  • BONEZZ
    BONEZZ

    What a great thread...remembering all of our good times in school.

    I started out in elementary school trying like hell to do the right thing and stand up for my beliefs (actually my parent's beliefs). But after several times of going to the pricipal's office, sitting in the hallway, library and being ridculed...even getting to sit in the corner of the classroom with a dunce cap (yeah I had one real old school teacher)...I finally learned it was better to try and go with the flow. That brought on TONS of guilt!

    There were times when I would break down and participate in holiday activities or "mouth" the flag salute. Then I would go home and study the Paradise Lost book with mom and see all those kids getting swallowed up at Armageddon...talk about scared all the time. Most of the time I was the only JDub in the class so I didn't have to worry about getting busted but the guilt was enormous. Luckily by the time I got into high school the '60's were in full swing and it was popular to be anti-establishment. Most of my high school class would ignore the flag salute, if they even began the day with it.

    I maintain we FILE A CLASS ACTION LAWSUIT AGAINST THE WTBS FOR MENTAL CHILD ABUSE...yeah I know...Good luck with that.

    BONEZZ

  • 144001
    144001

    As a kid, I lived a double life. I grew up on what can best be described as a white ghetto; lots and lots of bad kids. I befriended some of those kids because there was no one else for me to play with. Dad was extremely devout but not home much, and mom didn't bother too much with supervision. The kids on my street used to make fun of me when they saw me dressed in meeting clothes.

    Then came junior high, and with it a much larger area for my classmates to come from. One day, while out in service with Dad, I came across a boy I knew from school. I was extremely humiliated, but, I think he kind of understood my situation, as he never said anything about it to anyone at school. Nevertheless, that was the final straw for me. I never went out in service again, and told Dad that he could do whatever he wanted to punish me but it wouldn't change my mind. I didn't get punished and within one more year I was no longer attending meetings. Then came about 5 years of extreme rebellion which scared the hell out of my parents.

    Childhood is supposed to be fun, not miserable. It is the one chance everyone gets to have extremely few responsibilities and to discover what it means to be a human being. The Watchtower's exploitation of children as salespeople, combined with its outrageous stranglehold over all other remaining details of their lives is disgusting and all those responsible for this deserve some really bad karma.

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