So what did you give up ?

by av8orntexas 11 Replies latest jw friends

  • av8orntexas
    av8orntexas

    Hello everyone. Some MAY know me, some may not. That because I joined in 2002 , all the while, see-sawing back and forth between staying and going. Right now, I'm just about out the doorbut I hnag on because of my mother. She lives in another state,but She is all the family I have, as I am an only child. While I never think she would stop speaking to me, the thought that it can happen isn't all that pleasant.

    Now 12 years after taking the dip, I am having SERIOUS buyers regret. Constant what if's, seeing people my age Light years ahead of me in places, I should have been, whereas, I am just now starting to get my stuff together. I have an Associates, but felt pioneering would BETTER prepare me for raising a family ( if I ever have one at this point ), $4/gal gas, a insane tanking economy, and a shaky job market which I have managed to hang onto with the same company for the last 7years.

    Is anyone else feeling they are behind their peers ? Or that they've let a good portion of their life get away from them. ? Anyone else have goals or realize their goals ( college, a sure career,etc ) only to turn it down to pursure bethel,pioneering,etc ?

  • Wordly Andre
    Wordly Andre

    well you are still young and you can just start your life from this point on, I've seen a few people do just that and now they are happy. It's never to late to start college, in fact I am thinking about going back just for fun and taking like art history or something fun like that. It seems like the main factor that people such as you stay in is family, be it a wife or parents, I can tell you from my own experiance I left when I was about 15, I got the shit kicked out of me, each time I refused to go to meeting, assembly or memorial more and more was taken and more punishment, however I lived and some in my family shunned me still to this day, but others came around I'd say the first couple years is the hardest but looking back THANK GOD I did what I did, and I am glad to be where I am now. FREE

  • RR
    RR

    Yeah, but then I married a "sugar momma" and now everything is good!

    RR

  • nelly136
    nelly136

    yup lightyears behind, i put my education aside for the jws, then for my now ex husband, and then spent the next few years raising kids pretty much by myself when i was married and after the divorce. Time flies. I did go back to college while he was home and started doing 3 A'levels, but i crashed the car just over halfway through and couldnt finish them, much to then hubbies delight.

    my littlest has got to the age where shes independant enough not to be needing me around all the time,

    so....the other week I got my reiki's 1-2,

    then i applied for some voluntary charity work, still waiting to hear back.

    this week i went out and got a job that i should be starting in next week or two.

    i've hassled the heck out of colleges round here to try and get on courses i want to do, getting no where fast with that but i'll find what i want eventually.

    so i've decided to do two mini courses in indian head massage and face massage in the next month or two that i'll pay for to keep me ticking over, and then check out the new college courses in september.

    alternatively if i really like the job i've just landed theres a slight possibility it could get my foot in the door for social work courses instead.

    basically i've gone from limbo to 60mph and i'm still waiting for my arse to catch up.

    43yrs and counting.

  • yknot
    yknot

    Yep most of us feel like we are lagging behind in both finances and social skills.

    You are catching a break with you mom being in another state! It would be very easy to keep up with Dub-Land by reading JWD. As long as you don't contront the issue with her you could easily go for years by just reading, knowing and speaking Theocratese. Many post the notes on assemblies & DCs....then there is youtube.

    You should definitely consider going back to school and bumping up to a BS of your choice. Adult college is all the rage now!

    Dating only happens when you put yourself on the market......sometimes you gotta shake your booty.

    I actually passed on my theocratic career because of the moral corruption it would cause me. I am amazed at the impact it still has on my thinking.

  • WTWizard
    WTWizard

    When I joined, I had to give up much. I used to walk a long distance to play video games (and to keep my weight under control); that had to go for field circus. I enjoyed music, particularly older music from the 1970s and earlier 1980s; they put a huge hole in that collection. I had to throw away Christmas decorations that were in perfect condition. I stopped reading tabloids and Reader's Digest (and I am aghast at how the Readers Digest is not as good as it used to be, and tabloids are very expensive these days).

    My computer skills also went out of date while I was in the cancer. I can only imagine how much potential income that cost me during the late 1990s.

  • LouBelle
    LouBelle

    av8orntexas: yup in certain areas they are. Many have settled into family life of their own. I don't have that, I'd like too, but then it's meeting the guy....where do you meet guys these days. I"m not one just to go to a club and pick someone up. There are no guys where I work. Speed dating - hmmm nah, that comes across rather desperate - but I'm willing to give it a try. Gym? I belong to a womens' gym. Friends of friends are married or are relationships.

    arg!

  • momzcrazy
    momzcrazy

    When I left I gave up my mom. She is my only living parent.

    Go to college, even if it's online after work. My sister is doing that. It has taken her some time but she is plugging away at it. She has been on her own since she was 16, so now that she has also left the JW's she is doing the things she always wanted to do.

    momz

  • jwfacts
    jwfacts

    Welcome, though you have been around JWD a lot longer than me.

    I am 38 and about 10 years behind where i should be. The people I work with are 28 that have similar roles and earn as much. Those 38 are far ahead of me, not because of skills or ability, but because until my mid 20's I was in full time service, and then spent several years after that trying to recover emotionally. I will get there, and you will too.

  • White Dove
    White Dove

    I started college at age 30 after saying good riddance to one year of pioneering in 1997. It took me almost a decade to get my BA but I did it! Now, I'm applying to get into grad school and finish my MS in one year. Two of my college professors were in their late 20's and I am in my very late 30's. It's never too late!

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