Hey Trevor.
You're all right man.
No hard feelings here.
Peace.
Burn
Finding Faith
by Ima Apostate 54 Replies latest jw experiences
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Ima Apostate
Trevor,
I am quite young (27). You may misunderstand my experiences with the JW faith. It was never a faith that I sought out, researched, prayed on, reasoned about... It was shoved down my throat as a child. I believed it because everyone in my family did, and I trusted their judgment. Also, I had very limited exposure to people who believed differently.
When I got old enough to really begin developing the ability to think about these things for myself (13 or so), I began to have serious doubts about what I was taught. I did not 'cling to the faith' very long after that. I could never believe in the God of the Watchtower, who could kill all the terrific people who, at this very moment somewhere in the world, are on their knees begging for his help and praying to worship him in spirit in truth. (And the reason why he'd kill them - they had rejected the Witnesses who knocked on their door last Saturday.)
Over 14 years have gone by since I began to question what I believed, and only a year has gone by since I have begun to seek answers about what I really believed about God. I didn't start this post because I wanted to defend my newfound faith. In fact, I am constantly having to defend my faith from my own doubts. It certainly would be a lot easier to not believe in anything - it was for the 10 or so years that I did. But deep inside me, I will never stop believing in God, and never could. And in looking at the larger picture of history, the God of Israel makes sense to me.
Just because I don't believe in the creation story as it is spelled out in the Bible, well, it doesn't mean that I don't believe that something created mankind and has sought throughout time to bring creation into harmony with him (it, her, whatever you prefer). I even understand how God can be perceived as angry and jealous in the Old Testament. After all, it is a story of a God who continually forgives his people, and they continually screw up, and this goes on and on. But the fact that he keeps reconnecting with them tells me that he patient and loving. Then, if you were to believe as I do that Jesus in the New Testament is God's way of finally, once and for all, reconciling mankind to him... well, it makes sense enough for me.
Well, that's my view on Christianity as well as I can put it into words, which isn't very well right now because I'm sick with the flu. Please don't be too alarmed or apprehensive about my faith. I read the Bible regularly and constantly am reading other books on faith so that my faith is strengthened, and the only way to strengthen something is to test it to it's limits regularly. And believe me, my terrific 'worldly' friends love to badger me about what I believe on a regular basis. And I don't mind, because if I'm going to claim a belief as my own, I need to know to my very core that it is true and I'm not being delusional.
I get your point about 'cherry-picking' Bible verses which support your beliefs system, and I'm sure all Christians do that from time to time. After all, the Bible can be contradictory sometimes. And I'd love to discuss this with you, or someone, sometime - but I don't have the energy to do that on a forum such as this. I much prefer such conversation over a few beers or cups of coffee.
Thanks to all who have welcomed me on this board. It is encouraging to see just how many people are leaving the JWs. It gives me hope that maybe one day my Dad will leave and he'll know some real peace in his life.
-Ima
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trevor
Ima Apostate
Sorry to hear that you have the flue, I hope you are better soon.
Thanks for making the effort to reply. You have put my mind at ease, as I believe I was heavy handed in my approach to your thread and regret allowing my own emotional baggage to overshadow the experience that you shared with us. BurnTheShips opening comment was a friendly and emotional welcome to you and I should not have spoilt it.
It does seem that you have a good grasp of all the fact and a realistic approach to religion. Although I no longer look to the Bible as a guide in my life I am not an atheist but like most people, am still wondering what form the intelligence in the universe takes apart from its physical manifestations.
When travelling in Europe, particularly Italy I make a point of visiting the beautiful cathedrals and churches. Often I am able you attend when a choir is singing. This gives me a great feeling of peace and tranquillity. So I do understand your feelings and am being genuine when I wish you well in your faith.
I have already hogged too much of your thread. So if anyone else is reading this post please make a comment of your own encouraging Ima.
Trevor
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jgnat
Welcome again, Ima. You know, it's a rare 27 year old who has put any thought in to what they believe and why. For that alone you are heads above your peers.
It pays to be introspective, to think the deep things through once in a while. I predict a great future for you.
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CandleLight
Ima,
I am glad that you still have faith, even after the things in your life tried to destroy it. I found the heading of your thread interesting... "Finding Faith". It could almost be "finding trust, or perhaps finding belief". I have talked to many, and read some who post, who feel that unless it can be proven, touched, or shown, it does not merit belief. I can understand that feeling really. Once you have been decieved, tricked and used, why trust again, why have faith, it proved to be a mistake.
Ever make cookies, or a cake, and unknowningly leave out an ingrediant? You taste it and think "wow! This taste aweful! what a terrible recipe" or "I can't cook!". But are either of those conclusions correct? NO. Something was missing that belonged in the mix. Religion is like that sometimes. We are looking or mixing it wrong.
Personaly I have a distaste for organized religion... They add too much of their own ingrediants. I enjoy pruity.
Faith is not something all posses. It is actually listed as a gift of the spirit. Something we can ask for. Are we asking for Blind faith? NO. Interesting thing about faith. It actually opens our eyes, not close them. We are able to see beyond ourselves, and view things as God does, to be taught the ways of God. What an amazing thing, truely a gift. If we do not have it, ask for it. If we do not have enough, ask for more. Realizing we don't have all the answers, and that we don't have to is also a wonderful thing.
With his love,
CL