by str8?so is spaghetti..until you heat it up 36 Replies latest jw experiences
I don't know why, but I'm shocked that they dragged you out in front of everybody in the middle of a meeting. Couldn't they have talked to you some other time? Gotta get the rumor mill turning so peer pressure will keep you in line.
I think it's interesting that they didn't ask you if you were gay. They were just concerned that you "sounded" gay. What is this, the JW version of Don't Ask, Don't Tell?
Those elders did you the greatest service they ever could. I think it takes a nice firm boot to make a clean break from the Borg.
Mine was a girlfriend who premised our future on whether or not I was "progressing" in the truth. Until that point, I was pretty much intended to progress in the truth to stay with her, but the "I love you if you progress and I don't if you don't" got me to thinking about whether I wanted ALL of my human relationships to be negotiated through 9 old men in Brooklyn. She later dumped me without telling me about it and started dating a gooder brother. He dumped her and married a worldly girl (hehe), 3 kids now I hear. She's married to what I'm told from 3 independant sources to be the ugliest yet most devout Jehovah's Witness in the world.
So as you can see, it all works out in the end. You need to yell "I'm queer and I'm proud" in the faces of these elders sometime. I need to get an eyeful of my first love's super-ugly husband, and we'll both be fine and better for the trouble.
Welcome to the Light
Bring_the_Light
They were just concerned that you "sounded" gay. What is this, the JW version of Don't Ask, Don't Tell?
Of the many problems with the Militaries Don't ask Don't Tell policy, there is one huge benefit. The "don't ask" part makes it possible for soldiers to be protected from harassment. Other soldiers "calling" you gay, when you have not stated that you are gay can be punished under the policy. You can flame like a flamingo, don't admit to it, don't talk about it, don't get caught ya know and you can bring UCMJ down on any Mofo that gives you problems.
hugs for (really not) str8...
Awful, awful experiences that people have in the hands of elders. Talk about it, write about it, think about it, tell yourself how great it is that that might be one of the worst things you go through, and look forward to a time when you realise it's behind you.
The way you were made a display of (walking you out in front of the cong) tells me they had you in their sights. They were showing the cong that they were dealing with a pervert. Isn't it ironic that they destroyed a truly honest christian to satisfy the gossips and hatemongers and of course, their own vile imaginings? How many times I saw this in that organisation.
Hey Str8?, you mentioned that not all gays have 'gay mannerisms' and I know it is a true statement. However some, even those who are not practicing homosexuals, as you were and others who are not in any way 'out' definitely sound 'gay' to the rabble such as myself. I have often wondered if there is a reason for that--there really ARE tones and mannerisms that seem to 'give it away'. My friends in high school, both presented as straight, came out after moving out of their houses, yet before that, I thought they 'sounded' gay-even though they were both practicing LDS and dated etc. I could see it being an affectation, but clearly in many cases, it is not-many would not want to be identified as such-specially if they are not 'out'. Do you understand the phenomena? I hope this comes off as a person who wants to understand better, and not someone picking on gay people-which I am not doing. They say most 'fears' people have of others, races, religions, sexualities, are based on a lack of understanding. I would LIKE to understand things better, but really, how would you bring up such a subject if you were straight? I think most american black men(of all regions) have, similarly, ways of speaking that give away their race without ever seeing them(in many it is much fainter, but still discernable). But you meet a black guy from Ireland who is raised there, and even past the accent, nothing! Voice like any other guy raised in Ireland...
It is really late. Maybe all my social barriers are sleeping. I hope my question doesn't offend anyone. If so, I apologize.
Rather than offend, your question makes me laugh.
Without trying to sound trite, i would simply suggest you never Assume. Never.
It is not for you to decide who or what anyone is. Just because the masses think that there is a gay 'type' or a 'gay mannerism' does not mean that you should at ANY time assume that the person is homosexual. Even if your assumptions turn out to be true, consider the time you might be wrong.
So, in answer to your suggestion that sometimes there might be characteristics that appear to you to identify a gay person, I don't have an answer. I only ask that you try to see past them at the person who is underneath. THAT is where the real person lies. And they are, no doubt, AMAZING. Just as, no doubt, YOU ARE.
Unbelievable! I don't know how you survived all that. I wonder what your parents thought while all this was going on?
penny
Shocking.
There was a very similar experience on JWD recently. It was such a conversation that helped one ExJW come to the realisation that he was gay.
I'm sorry you went through this. Bad, offensive, vile & rude! Any time that I see one of the elders on my travels, I thank fark that I am not subject to this sort of crazy stuff any more. To think that I ran around trying to avoid them all when I 1st left the org.
