As A Former JW, Do You Feel You Should "Apologize" For Past Actions?

by minimus 32 Replies latest jw friends

  • minimus

    Do you believe that you should now apologize for whatever actions you made when you were a Witness?

    Do you think that if you were an elder that you should contact those that might've felt oppressed by you and your "theocratic" actions?

    If you were a zealous preacher, do you now feel you should go back to your former Bible students and tell them the error of your ways?

    Do you believe that it's your responsibility to reach out to those that you ever personally discouraged?

  • yknot

    Not particularly........

    But I haven't been gung-ho since mid-1980.

    I spent majority of my theocratic career listening to doubts and concerns of other JWs, which I have always validated.

  • IP_SEC

    Ya, I've apolo'd to ppl for my rudeness in shunning them and what not. Its only right.

    Matt 'Earl' Foster

  • Seeker4

    I'm pretty sure most of those folks would not talk with me, but I would LOVE to explain to all the people I helped into the Witnesses my reasons for leaving, and I'd even apologize for getting them involved.


  • minimus

    Would you consider apologzing to someone for disfellowshipping them?

  • chickpea

    the apologies i have made were to my children, two of whom live out of state.... i made a 1200 mile round trip loop in april to humble myself and face them with my regret and remorse.....

    humbling and freeing....

  • lonelysheep

    Yes, my friends have been given apologies and some family are still due. I am sorry for purposely not having a presence in their life nor allowing more than a miniscule one in mine because none of them were jw's (they were against them).

  • superman

    I’ve gone back made contact and apologized to several old friends that I’ve shunned when they got DF’d. One in particular was really treated rotten by the elders, but you all know the counsel they give “If you are questioning the elders decision, you are really questioning a decision from god”. So I took the side of the elders and assumed ‘If she got DF’d she really must have deserved it’. Since then I’ve found out that most of the people I shunned (All in their mid to late 20’s) didn’t really deserve it, but it was more of an issue of the elders (or a certain one) having a personal agenda against them and using this as a means of getting back at them for whatever reason. Since I’ve become apostate I’ve actually gained more friends in the org (mainly the ones who are considered ‘weak’), because when I hang out with them (outside of the hall, I don’t hardly go to the meetings anymore) they feel that they can confide in me (without me running to the elders) and that they don’t have to walk on egg shells (because I‘m not easily offended).

  • Dunk

    Yes. Although it's impossible to apologize for every action I took as an Elder, I felt very deeply that I had to reach out to some who's lives were affected by my decisions. It's true that I was just doing as instructed, and maybe I was even on the "liberal" side, but my actions hurt other people. Getting over myself and just apologizing for my ignorance was my intention.

    I'm amazed how kindly I was received even by those that I had a hand in disfellowshipping. Even so, this is the one area where I feel really ashamed of myself. After all, most of us Elder's at least had doubts, we (I) could have shown courage earlier.

  • Alpaca

    Like many things in life, experiences can have elements of benefit and detriment.

    I studied with a guy who was a childhood diabetic who wasn't expected to live much past the age of 30. Not only did I study with him, but also taught him to read functionally. He got baptized and remained active until he died. He was on dialysis 3 times a week and eventually he started losing body parts to infection. The doctors wanted to give him transfusions to keep him alive for as long as possible (the dialysis damages the blood), but he refused (at the urging of me and other elders). His family was irate with us, as they just wanted their brother/son to live for as long as possible. I don't even know where to begin to look for them to apologize, but my role in that tragedy is something I will never get over.

    On the other hand, I think that I was a good influence on young ones in the congregation, helping them to navigate the difficult teenage years. In any event, some of the Dub teachings about showing respect for others and being kind and considerate had a good effect on me and others.

    The net experience, however, probably comes out as a deficit and I would apologize to lots of family and others if I could.

    Minimus, thanks for the's always good to think about stuff like this.



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