hi blue :)
4. I saw MANY young JW's get heavy into drugs, and having unwanted babies, so its on both sides of the fence
I agree with this i'm just saying with Jw's they get an alternate social group of kids brought up within the same belief structure (this is not to be sneezed at, as time goes on I can only see the morality gap between current practises and biblical teaching only widening), This cannot protect them completely and certainly not from still making mistakes...
was then FORCED to get married to a dub at 18
So was yours recent and if i may ask was it similar reason to my example below?
The only forced marriage i know of while i was a witness was when a witness lad got a 16 year old girl pregnant it was doomed but it was between both sets of parents, He was 19 at the time and was the one to persuade the girl, it was a case of two families going on vacation together. This was also 20 years ago when morality outside of Jw's still went along with marrying if the girl got pregnant too. Things have changed on the moral front outside the Jw's now
That means there is a real conflict between what the bible teaches and current practises were frankly sex is a recreational thing not to be taken seriously, safe sex being the main thing parents teach now, nothing to do with find a person you actually like before jumping in.
5. Do you want your kids around all those molesters that the Borg protects? I know I want NO PART of that. There are sickos on BOTH sides of the fence. But the ones "in the world" get thrown in prison, not protected by a CULT.
While true, this is an out of date statement, your talking to a clued up single mum here! why do molesters need to embroil themselves in organisations anymore with the eyes of world on them? when they can secretly groom young girls off the internet, or find an isolated single mum with more kids than she can handle (an increasingly common thing) and be the loving new supportive partner offering to help look after kids so she can go out on the town, trust me this is were we have to be ultra careful now I know this personally.
The one thing of living on a rough council estate you quickly learn where danger lurks and a new fella who shows too much interst in your kids is the new danger these days.
NOW, my witness family on the other hand shuns me, and won't speak to me or meet my girlfriend. They constantly are thinking about Armageddon and being destroyed. They don't have a whole lot of fun, and their lives are for the most part pathetic. They work, they go to meetings, and that's it. Some try to live a little like "worldly people" but they always fail, or get held back by their brainwashed Dub tendencies.
With shunning I agree its something i do not approve of, if my kids were df'd da or just not interested in JW's I would treat them all the same, from my experience while encouraged shunning is still a personal judgement thing,
"Armgeddon" hmmm swap that with "heavenly hope" and you can interchange it with any other religion, swap it with new job promotion, vacation in hawaii, of lottery win with non-religious peeps and you get a very human need to want and hope for a better future whoever they are!
As for just Jws just working and going to meetings, from my experience witnesses make a real effort to socialise together with parties, movie outings etc so again a slightly misleading statement i've come across on this site before. Personal judgement again makes this a difficult one with some being stricter than others.
To be honest any problems I have with JW's is doctrinal not with practises, a little bit more strictness with morality doesn't hurt as much as the opposite in my experience, obviously others may disagree with me on that one.
Its really very simple, life that is. You as an adult have choices to make. You put yourself in certain situations, and then try to make the best of those situations by making GOOD choices. Your life to me, from what I've read on here, you need to make better choices. If someone is a creep, a druggie, an alcoholic, etc., you GET THEM OUT OF YOUR LIFE!!! If you find you are seeing TOO MANY of these people, CHANGE WHERE YOU HANG OUT!!! Really its not hard. I mean if you hang out in a seedy neighborhood bar (pub), then you probably won't meet the best people. Maybe ask co-workers out for drinks? Join a social club? Join a church? Etc. DO SOMETHING!!! There is an old saying that I heard in marketing class, and it applies here:
lol I wish it was that simple as i hung out in seedy places and met creeps there! These guys don't come with signs on their heads telling me beforehand what they'll be like, they are charming take me out for meals, nice intelligent... The alcoholic my first husband was the manager at my work and my second the gambler was a fellow co-worker too so your 'go out with co-workers' had me lolling, I don't drink so erm i've never really hung out at 'seedy places' so the men i've met all had good credentials but it still didn't make a difference.
I want to teach my kids thats there more to life than just ringing the last ounce of personal pleasure from it, I've had greater enjoyment from helping others than making sure i got what i wanted.
Basically your life will ALWAYS be terrible if you sit around and dwell on all the bad, and don't do anything to make it any better. You're forgetting about some of the badness that goes along with being a Dub. Remember all the meetings? Service? Mind-Control? Weird, looney people? Assemblies? The constant cry for MORE MONEY?? How bout constantly living a life in fear of Armageddon?
I haven't forgotten the badness I just didn't find the grass was any greener on the other side of the fence and in many cases it was worse,
If i'd have said i was treated by badly abc Jw you would all be blaming the JWs and simpathising but because I said abc happenned outside the Witnesses I am told to pull my socks up and deal with it, you can't see the hypocracy of this?