JW's from "The World" have a easier time going "Back Out Into The World"?

by BBOARD 45 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Bring_the_Light

  Maybe you should ask if once in and experiencing the "world" do born JW's get tempted into thinking of going back like myself.

  I've felt the urge to "go look" again. And in the past 10 years anytime I wasn't happy, I'd "wonder" whether I would have been happier in the borg.

  I think you'll never "actually" go back. I mean you might go to meetings, you'll play the game, you can't actually forget that you know the Ex-JW story and will actually resist anything crazy and pop back out again. This would be where we all chime in and plead NOO DON"T GO BACK!!! but I don't think we should or need to. Do whatever you want, its your life. Just please remember that, "Do what you want" and don't let them consume you. The non-JW does not demand allegiance or conformity, ours is an unconditional love.

  When I "went to look" again, it shocked the hell out of me, the walls dripped with madness, the people creeped me out, and old friends were unrecognizable in mental distortion. So, I'm really quite confident I couldn't make myself go back, even if I was determined to do so. It just plain scares the pants off of me, now, used to "bug me" now drives me nuts.

  Best of Luck, but reassimiliation with the Borg doesn't mean you'll leave us, does it?

  Bring_the_Light
• 

  cypher50

  Hi sirona, you do not address the bad expereinces i've had? it's like your saying the Jw's are to blame for the bad experiences i've had since and my mindset from them, which just can't be true.

  Bad experiences still happen outside Jw's, Outside has it's own set of rules, I admit as aJW you are vulnerable because you grab at the freedom like a greedy child embracing it without realising the consequences Ouch!!! but for those that have never been Jw's the dangers are still there.

  Just as a mum, i'm tempted to bring my child up in the Jw's (Mindcontrol aside) Christmas and birthdays are a small price to pay if I can protect her from Druggies and Std's from teen-sex.

  My mum brought up 7 kids as Jw's none of us have become long-term JW's (only lasting in few years those that got baptised) but all of us got a strong sense of morality, shunning drugs and sex in those critical teen years avoiding the greater dangers around us, drugs is the biggest issue where i live atm

  My youngest sister and her best friend were brought up in similar ways on a council estate only difference being the JW stuff, My sister is currently training to be a operating theatre assistant, has a morgage, a husband she would never be unfaithful too and a great kid, her friend became a glue-sniffer then heavier drugs, got raped by a boozed up family friend at a family party, is now in a council house with 4 kids struggling, drugs has turned to booze, they are no longer friends having nothing in common.

  Strong parenting is a much better tool for instilling integrity into your children then using religion as a crutch in order to scare them into complying
• 

  cypher50

  Hi sirona, you do not address the bad expereinces i've had? it's like your saying the Jw's are to blame for the bad experiences i've had since and my mindset from them, which just can't be true.

  Bad experiences still happen outside Jw's, Outside has it's own set of rules, I admit as aJW you are vulnerable because you grab at the freedom like a greedy child embracing it without realising the consequences Ouch!!! but for those that have never been Jw's the dangers are still there.

  Just as a mum, i'm tempted to bring my child up in the Jw's (Mindcontrol aside) Christmas and birthdays are a small price to pay if I can protect her from Druggies and Std's from teen-sex.

  My mum brought up 7 kids as Jw's none of us have become long-term JW's (only lasting in few years those that got baptised) but all of us got a strong sense of morality, shunning drugs and sex in those critical teen years avoiding the greater dangers around us, drugs is the biggest issue where i live atm

  My youngest sister and her best friend were brought up in similar ways on a council estate only difference being the JW stuff, My sister is currently training to be a operating theatre assistant, has a morgage, a husband she would never be unfaithful too and a great kid, her friend became a glue-sniffer then heavier drugs, got raped by a boozed up family friend at a family party, is now in a council house with 4 kids struggling, drugs has turned to booze, they are no longer friends having nothing in common.

  Strong parenting is a much better tool for instilling integrity into your children then using religion as a crutch in order to scare them into the people you want them to be. I grew up as a Witness also and saw many of kids who actually started using drugs & alcohol because of all the teachings they learned as a JW scared them so badly; you say "Mindcontrol aside" but what is the use of raising your kids as JWs if they won't believe in the doctrines that would supposedly keep them in tow? You can't have your cake and eat it too...
• 

  WTWizard

  I was once in the world. And that has given me a few advantages:

  (1) I went to college, opening my mind to critical thinking. I ordered a couple of books on witchcraft and know a little about it. I also took philosophy in college (and economics), and that means I know alternative viewpoints. And how to do cost/benefit analyses.

  (2) Having had Catholic experiences, I know something about other Christian religions. No, I don't agree with them. But I find them superior to the witlesses' stifling rules and biased stands on so many issues.

  (3) I never had my memories about the holidays sullied by the witlesses while I was growing up. I actually got to enjoy them, and differentiate one year from another with the holidays. Vacations, too.

  (4) Despite living in a rural area during high school, I got on more class trips than the average witless does. And I didn't have to miss things just because of my religion.

  (5) I wasn't prepped from the ground up with the idea that I am going to pioneer or to Beth Hell. I never developed those as goals.

  (6) While I was growing up, I wasn't exposed to the mysticism that so many things were demonized. I got involved in science in high school, and did well in math. My computer skills were very good (that is, until the witlesses did disrupt them).

  (7) The music I listened to wasn't so tightly censored. My parents used to listen to Led Zeppelin and think nothing of it. They used to listen to a mix of country, pop, rock, and soul. Mainstream music was not so demonized.

  Nor did I have to rush home after school to prepare a talk or go out in field circus when I had homework, stay up until after 10 PM on a school night when there was a unit test the next day, or make sure I am caught up on my Washtowel studies. And I never had to go to those boasting sessions to be further embarrassed.
• 

  reniaa

  I do admit an issue might be how liberal your JW parents are, if they can soften the rules with understanding, a lot of articles show it's down to personal judgement which is a hard road to walk. on one side you have the ridiculously strict parents that break thir kids with harshness, on the other you have the ones that undestand the protective nature of certain rules but still allowing the kids to enjoy things withing a looser hold, certainly with my kids I would leave music and reading to their own judgement and tastes, I would have family parties,

  Holidays is a weird one as a Jw child everyone went on the same holidays as everyone else so I never saw this non-holiday policy thing you guys mention, we used to goto holiday camps like jo-public so did most other JW's we knew, the richer ones went abroad. so i'm confused on that one having never seen it

  Your right in that your can bring kids up with integrity without being JW but that still leaves the spiritual gap.....

  I'm not ready to replace one lie with another (i'm accepting here that in recent years Jw teachings have been conflicted especially on generation thing) but trinity is a 3rd century disembling and let me not even get onto the subject of burning in hell certainly on that JW's are more biblically correct, my internet research backs up the grave conclusion.

  If we want to be religious and bring our children to believe in God our choices are limited

  1/ make up our own god based on our own ideas, avoiding organised faiths completely

  2/ pick a faith because the people are nice, without looking to deeply into what they actually believe, "its god that enough"

  3/ find a faith that you feel doctrinely and teachings are correct but you still need a measure, either your own opinion or whatever ancient text supports that religion, For me any Christian faith has to answer to the bible for what they teach.
• 

  Sirona

  Reniaa

  Hi sirona, you do not address the bad expereinces i've had? it's like your saying the Jw's are to blame for the bad experiences i've had since and my mindset from them, which just can't be true.

  I don't know where you got this from.

  I didn't say that the JWs are to blame for the bad experiences you have had. I said that JWs are to blame for the way you (or any "born in") see those experiences. You see them as evidence that the world is bad and that the JWs are offering a safe haven. This attitude has been indoctrinated into you from birth.

  Because the JW world is familiar to you and is all you've known, you will cling to it when things are hard. That is normal, natural....I wasn't critisising you. I was simply saying that getting out of the JW indoctrination takes a lot of effort and often counselling.

  Sirona
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  reniaa

  Firstly if i was bought up Outside of Jw's how would my thinking be different and by definition because you say i need counciling to get rid of the indoctrination better?

  Would I replace fear of armeggeddon with a "I'll be in heaven so i only have to get through the bad things now of other Christian faiths"? (people on here often accuse witnesses of not living in the now only seeing the paradise, true but with other christian faiths they only see the heavenly promise..erm wheres the difference?

  Would i blame god as a healthy portion do for things going wrong?

  If i did not believe in God at all and accept this reality as the only one, taking the bad with good and just make sure i do everything I can to make myself happy and by extention my family. Would it be easier?

  You can say the witnesses blind us but reality bites and all the words on this forum can't change that! this is a hard world to live in and nothing not money, the highest security fences, the best guns etc can protect us? yes we can enjoy ourselves live in the moment take comfort from each other but those deeply detressing moments will still come and bite us in the butt, at least now unlike 200 years ago we have an 80 year lifespan unlike the 40 year one that was average then.

  Funny thing is we now have the technology to make this a good world for everyone, the drugs are there for third world countries to have but with money as God they are never going to get them, We have internet to communicate with all but we can't stop wars and power hungry men. Unlike some i'm not niave enough to think getting rid of religion will stop mans desire to kill man.

  So how can I view the world differently or better by not being indoctrinated as a witness? would I instead just be indoctrinated to accept the reality?
• 

  ex-nj-jw

  Just as a mum, i'm tempted to bring my child up in the Jw's (Mindcontrol aside) Christmas and birthdays are a small price to pay if I can protect her from Druggies and Std's from teen-sex.

  That's called good parenting and it can be done without religion especially JW's. If you don't feel you have the capabilities to be a good parent and teach your children right from wrong, how to treat others, not to use drug or have sex in the teens the you shouldn't have had children.

  nj
• 

  reniaa

  lol i guessed someone might try this strawman arguement with me,

  That's called good parenting and it can be done without religion especially JW's. If you don't feel you have the capabilities to be a good parent and teach your children right from wrong, how to treat others, not to use drug or have sex in the teens the you shouldn't have had children.

  nj

  I'm a bad parent because i want to give my children a morality with a biblical base rather than "because i say so base"?

  If right and wrong were so easy our governments would be doing a better job.
• 

  cypher50

  So how can I view the world differently or better by not being indoctrinated as a witness? would I instead just be indoctrinated to accept the reality?

  You are making the mistake that many parents who were raised in strict religious situations (not just JW but many other religions) make: you are trying too hard to push your spiritual teachings on a child before they are able to properly judge for themselves whether or not they want to accept those teachings. You can teach your children good values and I even agree that you can teach them Christian values without having them "indoctrinated as a witness"; from being raised as a witness, I remember being only a child and yet having the weight of world issues & my allegiance to prophecies & doctrines questioned and that is unfair to a child. There can be a balance between the full court press of how the Witnesses raise children and spiritual nihilism but you have to be willing to find it rather then go back to a way of parenting you admittedly find extremely flawed...

  Also, you seem to be showing the JW viewpoint that if you don't specifically raise your children as JWs then nothing else will prevent them from developing a moral background...ever think that maybe you can raise your children in a spiritual environment that encourages them to look at many religions and let them decide for themselves what to believe? I'm not saying that you shouldn't raise your children in whatever religion you choose (it is your choice) but to have them raised in a JW environment and get the results you want means that you can't halfheartedly go to meetings and tell them "hey, forget all the doctrines they teach about Armeggeddon, Paradise, 144,000, etc. and just focus on the parts about being good" because that will just confuse them even more.