are men better listeners, or women? (page 5)

John Doe

Wings,

just my personal observations. Men are trained from infancy to be oblivious to emotion and feeling. You can observe this even in young children. Picture a young child, say 3 or 4, falling and hurting itself. The response from people is likely to depend on if it is a girl or a boy. Girls will get a sympathetic ear and compassion. While boys will likely get the same, it will be prefaced by things like "don't cry, you're a big boy. Toughen up." I'm sure we've all seen such things.

The only feelings men are trained to respond to are hunger, thirst, the sexual drive, and anger. The other emotions are seen as feminine. Love, while given some latitude, is still to be expressed only in confined settings in prescribed ways. Consider how women hug their friends and share all kinds of intimate and personal stories. Now picture men doing the same things. You can't, can you?

wings

I just remember taking the test three times to try to come up with something different. I am what I am I suppose. Better learn to deal with it.

changeling

I am what I am I suppose

Just like Popeye!

wings

Men are trained from infancy to be oblivious to emotion and feeling.

I understand that this is a broad social statement. Empathy would not be nurtured? Empathy would be key to listening, right?

Are women so different that men just shut down and go for the base instincts? Pretend to listen to get their food, sex and drink? (I'm pretty sure anger doens't fit into that picture.)

John Doe

Are women so different that men just shut down and go for the base instincts? Pretend to listen to get their food, sex and drink?

I don't think it divides evenly like that. I think there are plenty of women who are like the stereotypical male and plenty of men who are like the stereotypical woman.

Perhaps I'm atypical, but I've always been told I'm a good listener. I've never been one to talk about my problems though, and when I'm dealing with something I don't like talking about it. I prefer to mull it over in my own head to myself. How that relates to other men, I really can't say.

oompa

When people are really interested in each other....they listen.....men and women imo.................oompa

wings

I don't think it divides evenly like that. I think there are plenty of women who are like the stereotypical male and plenty of men who are like the stereotypical woman

I agree with this. I have just been trapped in the JW world of not being allowed to have male friends. I am finding that they are not only good listeners, but offer a different perspective than women do. Not all women are good listeners. I think good listeners are not all that commen. Men or women.

wings

When people are really interested in each other....they listen.....men and women imo.................oompa

Bingo....two smart comments in one night....you are on a roll. What makes us interested? A different question I suppose.

OnTheWayOut

So, is a sympathetic ear listening? Or is understanding the problem and giving advice listening? Or is knowing the difference and knowing when to offer what listening?

See, there's the age old problem.

When your teacher or parent tells you something, listening means
getting the information and obeying or following instructions.

When a man asks you to listen, he generally means to get the
information and follow the instructions.

When a woman asks you to listen, she generally means to remember
it for the rest of your evening (or life for husbands) and be sympathetic or
enthusiastic at the proper times. Men assume they need to jump in and
solve the problem. If they offer a solution, they were listening. All we
really have to do is know when to say, "Oh, too bad. I am so sorry for you.
Here's a hug."

JK666

It depends on the man/woman. No stereotype applies.

JK

are men better listeners, or women?

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