4 the Faders. How did u get out leading the cong in prayer while fading?

by blkblk13 33 Replies latest jw experiences

  • blkblk13
    blkblk13

    I've always had serious doubts but now that I am @ a point in my life were my parents have helped me to purchase my first place and now that I am no longer under their wing I feel like I am in a position to start doing something about it. Nothing drastic but just the beginnings of a gradual fade b/c I don't want to humiliate them in the circuit b/c they r very well-known and admired in the circuit, plus I owe them alot and am still a little financially dependent on them. So my dad is an elder and conducts the bookstudy. I always manage to come late enough to not have to read and I don't comment often but now he's been having me close w/ prayer almost everytime, I think in order to force some sort of participation. Since I have such stong conflicts regarding the religion inside of me I just don't feel right doing it. But I really don't think I could possibly flat-out say no when asked to say the prayer. Did anyone else find themselves in this position while attempting 2 fade?

  • stillajwexelder
    stillajwexelder

    I didnt - I still pray from the platform

  • blkblk13
    blkblk13

    Does it bother u?

  • blkblk13
    blkblk13

    wait aren't u a woman? Women can pray from the platform in Africa? I'm confused.

  • minimus
    minimus

    Stilla just likes hotties or maybe he IS a woman and is a hypocrite, I dunno.

    I hated praying at the end and I could either only say generic prayers or prayers that I could agree with---not just say.

  • Octarine Prince
    Octarine Prince

    One time, and this wasn't even when I was fading, I told the brother
    that my head wasn't in it. He looked so amazed that someone would
    decline, that it took him a while to recover from the shock. I am very
    sincere about things like that, and wish others were. Oh, well.

  • Octarine Prince
    Octarine Prince

    But, to answer your concern, if I were you, I would simply
    pray about what you are sure about.

    Thank the Divine for life, etc., and don't talk about the
    Faithful and Discreet Slave or anything you don't feel
    comfortable about. Just speak the truth.

    When you Dad is tired of hearing the same prayer, he will
    quit trying to prop you up.

  • MissingLink
    MissingLink

    For a while I was praying for things like "help us to understand you". At bookstudy I would make myself busy with the kids at the end so that I wouldn't be asked.

    But after a while it just seemed too wierd since I'm sure if there is a god, his name isn't Jehovah. And really I'm 99.9% sure there's nobody there at all, and I feel like a retard talking to myself. I had a bad dream last week that I was asked to pray, and I was panicing because I didn't want to lie.

  • stillajwexelder
    stillajwexelder

    Stilla just likes hotties or maybe he IS a woman and is a hypocrite, I dunno.

    Refusing would arouse suspicion - I always say stuff like thank you for th Faithful and Discreet Slave and pour out your spirit on the GB - I get a kick out of the bullshit and call it Theocratic Warfare Strategy

  • blkblk13
    blkblk13

    For a while I was praying for things like "help us to understand you". At bookstudy I would make myself busy with the kids at the end so that I wouldn't be asked.

    I always try not to make eye contact or look down @ my shoes or arranging my books. lol. sucks cuz I only have 2 books @ the bookstudy so I can't arrange them 4 too long w/ out looking stupid.

    I like the idea of keeping the prayer general though and not real doctrinal. That's a good idea.

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