I grew up in a... (page 2)

nomoreguilt

WELCOME TO JWD!!! You can vent your spleen to your hearts' content here. And , oh yes, don't worry about bleeding to death, the blood issue is not an ISSUE here.

NMG

I am sure ex JWs on this board will help you as much as they have helped me. I am in a similar but not identical situation to yours as I am trying to get a friend out of being baptised into this cult.

I have never been a JW, but advice from several kindly folk here and from reading lots of threads has given me confidence as well as teaching me a lot. Individuals sent me post messages which helped a great deal. I learnt about all the lies, the inconsistencies and the changes in doctrine involved in the JW cult. There is a huge amount to learn and I'm still in the process but it is fascinating so it doesn't feel like hard work. In correspondence with others, I have gradually evolved a strategy to help my friend.

Not sure if the plan will be of any help to you, as our circumstances are different, but here it is:

1. I started by deliberately engineering ways and means to spend more time with my friend socially and used every opportunity to ensure that she knows I respect her and care about her as a person more than about her beliefs. This may not be necessary if you are already close to your brother.

2. The clichés are true that knowledge is power and one should know as much as possible about one's 'opponent' so I set about learning how a JW mind works which is where this board was invaluable. Other websites list ways to disprove JW beliefs, but I realised that dealing with closed minds, you need more than just facts and figures, you need psychology.

3. I compiled a list and then thought hard about which area would be most effective to begin with. This decision will be different for you, as each individual is different, and also depends to some extent whether you wish to help your brother preserve a spiritual faith or to persuade him their is no supernatural being.

I considered 10 areas as follows :

(a) Mis-translations of the scriptures.

(b) Mis-interpretations of doctrine

(c) Ethical issues such as blood

(d) Doctrinal U turns and flip-flops

(e) Skeletons in the Watchtower cupboard, eg protection of paedophiles.

(f) Origins of the cult and its murky early history.

(g) The illogicalities and impossibility of a Paradise earth.

(h) Behaviour control - eg dictating dress style and what is acceptable in the bedroom, disciplinary procedures and shunning etc

(i) Information and thought control - not allowing access any other ideas but those of the WT and controlling what questions can be asked.

(j) Life-style - eg how much time is required to attend meetings, study, and go out knocking on doors. Not being able to celebrate birthdays, Christmas and so on.

4. Having considered my friend's character carefully, I decided which order to tackle the above list. I think that's the crucial point as if you start off on something that goes over your brother's head or does not relate to his personal experience, you may push him further away.

I was not completely honest in that I did not tell my friend that I had been studying apostate material. I did not want to try and teach her directly what I had learned, I simply showed an apparently naive but genuine interest in why she believed what she believed and kept asking leading questions. Most of these she found she could not answer. She would go back to her study conductor and then return to me with the standard JW answer which I knew was coming, and therefore I had my ammunition at the ready.

I decided drip feeding one thought at a time is far better than crowding her head with too many ideas at once. My 'battle' is still ongoing; it's going to be a slow process and I am not vastly optimistic, but I won't give up.

In your case it may be that you would just need to say you were having trouble understanding a particular point and ask your brother to explain it to you to initiate a conversation, rather than confronting him.

My friend is a feisty young 20 year old, not academic, and does not have a particularly questioning mind, but has had a very troubled childhood. I realised that doctrinal and ethical issues would not interest her much. So I started on issues that affect her as an individual. She has always been a bit of a rebel and I began with thought and behaviour control. We have talked about lifestyle but she hasn't yet been told everything that the JWs will require her to give up after baptism. At the present they are "love-bombing" her.

There are some good signs, my friend is still happy to talk to me in spite of her study conductor telling her I am an agent of Satan and she should keep away.

I wish you success!

momzcrazy

I also suggest you read Crisis of Conscience. Any lingering doubts about the JW's being a cult will get blown to bits!

momz

yknot

Yep....I am right in that boat with ya!

I think a good 'get-em' thinking" converstation is to talk about the FDLS and see if you can get him to list things that make it a cult or show their members are brainwashed. See if you can find an opening then to something comparable within JW rules and regulations or hierarchy.

I grew up in a...

nomoreguilt

HB

momzcrazy

yknot

Layla33

free2beme

tika

Hortensia

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