During the night I pondered on this subject and decided I had something more to say.
I would like to dedicate this to RC who started the thread.
To Xena who I can relate to, I have always made friends easy, however I know not everyone is so easy to interpret. I make friends easy because I tend to like people, not just the easy ones.
To Maddie who always uses words I need to look up in the dictionary, but love the way you use words.
To Flipper who's best friend is his wife. I love that.
To Bumble Bee who has found genuine friendships here from JWD. I hope I do to. I believe there are faces behind the avitars, heartbeats behind the words, lives lived that could be shared.
a glimpse into my daily life
Most of my posts are short. (WARNING: this one won't be) . I care for my mother, she is an invalid (stroke victim). She requires constant attention and care. I don't have time for long posts, I don't have time for spell check. Most of my deeper thoughts I might share never make it to the keyboard. I could be interpreted as someone more superficial than what is my reality.
That is just today, go back 2 months. The invalid was my dad, my mom was better but she wandered and had to be watched constantly (atleast she could go to the bathroom by herself). I also had two grandkids 3 and 4 I cared for full time, their mother (bi-polar) had ditched me again. My sister who works full time was my only support. I probably wasn't posting much then.
Go back 6 months. My parents were both better, a different kind of maintanance, but they were a lot of work. Grandkids, and no daughter to help me. Seperated from my husband, trying to reconcile 16 years of my life, the loss of someone dear to me. Begining to understand my issues with WTBTS. Questioning my belief in God for the first time in my life. Major financial troubles. DEPRESSED most days. Spent a week with my son in ICU after his first suicide attempt.
I can't go back further, this has already given me a stomach ache.
reason why I don't have friends, I just haven't had the time or space or energy
Back to the subject of "true" friends. For me it would be someone I can be myself around, someone who puts up with me through my self pity days (we all have them), someone I can laugh with and cry with, share the big things and the little things. Someone who could accept me for my differences and encourage my individuality. I have had this twice in my life. One I lost to a drug addiction about 12 years ago. The other I lost when I left the borg. I will always love them, cherish them, appreciate the time I had with them. They are both incredible women, I am honored I was a part of their lives.
reasons I want to make new friends
Events in my life have percipitated major changes. I turned 50, interesting age actually. I am learning to listen to myself for the first time in my life, one thing that I am hearing is that I want friends. I want to share my life with others, I want to share theirs. I really like to laugh, that is so much more satisfying if shared with a friend.
