R. CRUSOE- I always liked the final words on the Beatles last album, " Abbey Road" , when they said, " And in the end, the love you take, is equal to the love you make. " I have found that is how friendship can be- I will get out of friendship how much I put into it. Not always as some people are disconnected and don't respond - but I consider my wife my best friend. And after that my 23 year old son is my best friend. I have other " friends " but to REALLY make a connection with someone is challenging. I had a few great guy friends over the years who died either in car wrecks or illness or strokes - so at times I have felt snake bit a little. I'm a good friend and fun to get to know - but because of these losses I get a little scared getting too close to new friends. Don't want to lose more ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper
I'm wondering what my life feeling has evolved into - in fact what it has been for years!
I think some people become satellite individuals not of their choosing!
Life events! Whatever? I could talk for hours with any person anytime anyplace - but they misread me or don't wish to!
The last Mohecan! And you feel it in your blood! You're kindred are dead or driven abroad by social difference!
It is peculiar!
I do have some really good friends...however I have changed my viewpoint on the phrase "true friend". I am not sure that is even possible, or there is such a thing. Everyone is imperfect. Even though people may have the best of intentions, no one is perfect and so there is opportunity for dissapointment in someone.
I used to believe in true friendship. I am no longer a believer. When my own flesh and blood can turn against me, then why wouldn't someone else that doesn't have that bond and lifelong relationship with me be true?
Sorry to be cynical, but that is the way I see it.
Yep. Don't know why they love me but they do and have been there for me thru thick and thin.
Nope none - I guess I'm still suspicious of everyone but I'm comfortable with that
My reality perspective on the elusivity of a true friend:
I am an individual who loves to communicate with the 'inner person' but due dads death I lost a soulbond and the reverse became a reality through monther ( who made that an impossibile reality in the home) and then WT lifestyles decades ( that kinda thinking was off limits!). The nearest became gran who had lots of 'old notions' about what is spoken and what is not so guesswork was high on the agenda again.
So fast forward to the last few years:
Doing that now has become a misnoma! Everyone is a mirage and evaporates whenever you approach their reality!
So to me a true friend is one with a sincere, active and compassionate interest in ones welfare, lifestyle and general pathway through life whose wish is to share their reality with you!
So there is no onus on either party except how they choose to look out for each other and predominnatly to inform and communicate to each other in ways which are always 'on the level', 'on the lookout' and 'looking for opportunity'.
So all my life I have been looking for an opportunity to engage suchlike ones but to zero avail!
I must be mistaken! Based on my reality - very much so!
Just a thought. I didn't go out looking for friends they found me. I'm basically a loner, have been all my life. It just kind of evolved. Now I can't imagine being without them... to celebrate with me, to cry with, no judgement just acceptance ...it's nice to have people like that in your life but you have to be open to it.
My momma alwayz said: to have a friend you have to be one. Another woman has often said: you can't be one to others 'til you've been one to yourself (or yourslef, as you may prefer). ;)
Xena - your inuendo is what would put me off suchlike individuals!
The notion that because you don't already have circles of friends it's because you are not 'open'
So where natural frienship occurs it's absent such notions!
Preconceived notions are what perpetuate negative realities! Both sides of the equation!
It's why some give up completely - and with good reason - so fulfilling your 'open' claims as to why they deserve their reality! A joke really!