True friends

by R.Crusoe 48 Replies latest jw friends

  • R.Crusoe

    A lovely 'belief' to ponder!

    It is liberating for many!

    I hate to sound defeatist but reality is sometimes much starker - a silent warzone - someone snipping at you repeatedly!

    Sadly your dream only works amongst like minded souls!

    A plesnt distraction so thanks for sharing.

  • Maddie

    I believe I have one or two people in my life that I like to think of as true friends. My interpretation of what it means has changed though because I don't have the high expectation that I once had. Everyone has problems to deal with - many of them emotional, and I realise that it is a human failing to not always be able to be totally altruistic.


  • Xena

    To be honest from the few posts of yours I've read RC, you come across as closed off and a wee bit bitter hence the comments about being open to things. I now, also, get the feeling you prefer to wallow in a pool of self pity and pseudo superiority rather than actually be proactive. Knock yourself out. ;-)

  • R.Crusoe

    Xena - another judgement!

    Your suggestion is that what I suggest is none existent!

    Maybe some know it!

    I'm not alluding to myself here!

    I truly perceive that some have lived the reality I speak of!

    How I come across is void of any desire for pity! And I suspect that to be true of ones I speak of.

    Maybe that is why they exhibit a reluctance - fear of pity?

  • Xena

    What judgement? The first comment was a suggestion based on what worked for me. The second was an opinion based on what comments I have read of yours todate.

  • ninja

    my whole circle of "friends" has collapsed and with my circumstances being what they are will be a while till I find close friends again if ever......saying that....I wouldn't have missed the roller coaster I've been on for on and loving it

  • R.Crusoe

    Opinion based upon various posts?


    I have a reality which gives me a perception that in spite of my sincerest long term wrestling with various relationships and changes with a heart of best intentions, has resulted in a domino rally of negative outcomes!

    So then I wondered to myself about the extent to which this is also a feature of others lives?

    And how likely it is that some are far worse than my known reality!

    And how people will treat you in negative ways because your reality is in decline?

    It is a fact I have witnessed 10 fold and beyond!

    Inuendo is highly concentrated and a negation on ones holistic energies!

    John Lennon talked of the slow death of the Beatles and how once everyone perceived a demise, society does its thing - which is the bull in the ring scenario - the slow death until they kick or run in the steel!

    The inuendos are reverse for success - rallying into euphoria!

    This is what I speak of!

    So when I post a thread intending to address an observablke reality, humanity is inclined to ask itself why - and draw conclusions about my motives, appearance and state of mind prior to ever entering into a serious consideration of the facts of the observable reality put up for debate! If you see?

    And I am aware also, that ones with this knowledge experience, will have times when they behave more like the 'broken human' that gives them such insights - so furthering the likelihood that they will be taken less seriously when they are in fact fully functioning - which they soon become aware of and tend to question why they ever bother to become functionally engaging and trusting others with their own experiences!

    I think we have a situation where if your reality is an 'end game' of some positives - you tend to expect others to have similar inner equities - and my hunch is that for some this is a misnoma and since ones in charge are usually possessing 'positives', they are reluctant to concede such a scenario as plausible.

    My hunch was that it may be a reality for some who live in who knows what space in time?

  • Xena

    I just started using firefox and apparently it's not real friendly with this site as I don't have a quote feature on here or my smilies so excuse my lack thereof. Oh and it doesn't make paragraphs for me either. Yes an opinion based on various posts. Is that really so hard to understand considering we are on a discussion board and have nothing else to draw from. I would say 99.9% of the people posting on this board have had negative outcomes in their lives thru no fault of their own. It's what you do with that that determines your reality. You can use it to cut yourself off and explain away why your life isn't getting better or you can use it to grow and learn and hopefully have a more positive outcome next time. Sometimes it's difficult to embrace that reality for various reasons but that doesn't mean it's impossible. IMO anyway. ;-)

  • nomoreguilt

    I have "2" true friends, My Wife of 5 years and my ex jw Buddy. In times gone by I would try and pursue friendships with in the borg. This never proved fruitful. I spent countless hours and numerous get togethers at my home in order to open up to people. Notice..."I" opened up to them.

    I have learned through hard heart broken disappointment that most jw's do not have it in them to be a TRUE friend. They love to be around the crowd but one on one they will not extend themselves nor their hearts to truly care about another. I don't know what it is about them, for I wasn't that way.

    Now that I have left them, I have found many nice , sincere somewhat friends in my outside realm of socialisation. But, again, a true friend other that the 2 I have , are still hard to find. It takes an awful lot of time to cultivate and prove out what a true friend really is.

    So, now in my later years of life, I will be content to cherish those that I do have. Life is too short to chase after the wind, if it isn't blowing your way. I hope one day to have my 2 sons as friends again, time will prove this out also. I just hopethat it doesn't come too late. For their benefit and mine.

    Too Sad


  • diamondblue1974
    wallow in a pool of self pity and pseudo superiority

    Xena, you question what judgement - the above certainly looks like one. From the posts I have read of RC's over the last few weeks he sounds like he is quite depressed so it should be no surprise that his outlook is not as positive as it should be. Its very easy for a person that is not depressed to say in effect 'get over it' or 'think positive' - the reality for the sufferer is much more difficult.

    Perhaps instead of casting judgements and stating what could be considered the harsh reality we should be finding ways to be more supportive.

    In my experience and with regards to friendships, depression is one of those illnesses that seems to isolate for one reason or another and is often a barrier regardless as to whether or not someone is open to attracting friends. Its only when a person who suffers from depression begins to heal that they often feel that they feel that they can begin to trust again, the healing process is however often a long and difficult road to travel.

    Then again you do not have to suffer from depression to lack friends - some seem to be content to have few or no friends (for one reason or another) and some find it more difficult than others. Xena whilst I can see some of the points you have made, I feel you were a little harsh.


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