Need a guys opinion and ladies feel free to chime in!

by TweetieBird 39 Replies latest jw friends

  • TweetieBird

    I need help! I have a "friend" and I say that loosely because I don't think that she is a good friend. She only calls me when my husband is in town to do stuff with her, i.e. go to lunch, etc. It's always an invitation to the both of us. She will call my cell phone first and if I don't pick up right away she immediately calls my husband's cell phone and invites "us" to lunch or the beach, etc. My husband (whom I will call Mike) is only home every other week. The week's that he is gone, I don't hear from her, if I call her she doesn't answer her phone which she keeps glued to her. I've been with her enough times to know that she looks at who's calling and will only answer if it's someone she wants to talk to. I have even tried to call her in the past and she won't answer, but when I use DH's phone she picks up immediately. Hmmm!

    She recently broke up with her live-in boyfriend, of whom she was fooling around on with her boss, whom she's now quit sleeping with cause she is probably looking for her next husband. She refer's to him as "Sexy Mike".

    My DH and I got into a fight last time he was here because she called to see if we wanted to go to lunch with her and I got pissed and said to him, "why don't you go by yourself." He said that was uncalled for, that he doesn't think we should be mean to her. I personally don't give a you-know-what about her feelings.

    Should I be concerned?

  • *Incubus

    When you guys are out with her,how much attention does he give her?

    She doesnt sound like anyone Id even waste time on.

  • mouthy

    Should I be concerned?

    I think so. But why not come out & tell her your realise she has the hots for your Hubby, & ask in a very loving way to hubby " Does she turn you on?" I did this to my hubby once & he admitted a friend of mine did... Get the conversation going. Rather than harbour doubts.

  • Terry

    Next time the three of you are out together (preferably in a public place) turn to her and say out loud:

    "I want to ask you a question and I'd like the most honest answer you can give me. Are you interested in my husband in a way that would jeopardize both my marriage and our friendship?"

    Then, pause and don't say another word until all the flummery dies down.

    Open the topic dispassionately. Give reasons. Stay calm and methodical.

    Lance this boil before it festers.

    This is the number one mistake women make with each other. FAILURE TO BE DIRECT AND PUBLIC.

    Watch your husband for his reaction to all this. It will be very telling. Whose side does he take--if any.

    Good luck.

  • TweetieBird
    When you guys are out with her,how much attention does he give her?

    Nothing out of the ordinary. But if I go to the bathroom or outside for anything, when I walk back in she has plopped down in the seat next to him. I've mentioned this to him before and he is aware of it, but says that I shouldn't worry about it because a) he loves me and b) he finds her totally unattractive. He says she looks like a possum (sp). She's not bad looking, has a decent body but she belches out loud (really loud) all the time in front of everyone, which is really crude in my opinion.

    I think he enjoys the attention she gives him cause she's about 10 years younger than us, but I think that is as far as it goes.

    She's very out-going, makes friends every where she goes but I feel that she's a user. She seems to latch on to a couple of people for a few months and then she's on to the next one.

  • daniel-p

    Why do you ask if you should be concerned? You KNOW yourself that you should be concerned. Trust your instincts and stake your territory.

  • nomoreguilt

    My friend..... I have been around this world of ours long enough to know a RED Flag when I see it! I have no doubts about your, ahem, Friend's intentions. And, not to cast aspertions on your hubby, I believe that he may already KNOW about her feelings for him.

    This is not a good situation for either of you. I liked Terry's ideas and i think you should take the ball and run with it. Then, take your hubby by the hand and RUN as fast as you can away from your friend.

    Oh, by the way. I've seen it ALL in my life, there's nothing new under the sun, as it was.


  • *Incubus

    I concur with NMG,shes bad news

  • Casper

    That kind of "crap" would never fly with me... I am soooo territorial...!!! I would boot her butt to the curb, Pronto.

    And I wouldn't care "What" Hubby thought either.


  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    I think Terry is dead on with this!

    Why continue to deal with doubts, concerns? Take Highway 101 to the Turnpike and get a trialoge started here. If you don't - he won't - and she won't! He is prob flattered, as you said - but it needs to be aired before circumstances turn it sour for all of you.


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