How important are looks to you?

by Layla33 22 Replies latest jw friends

  • Layla33

    I am just curious how much looks and superficial things plays a part in your decisions in life. Not so much the obvious, but things most people don't think about. I work with a young lady, she could be my daughter, well if I was young and out there early, and she's fresh out of college, from a sorority and let's everyone know this. Anyway, she will only talk with, be friendly with the very good looking people in the office. It's very obvious, not that anyone actually cares, but watching her was kind of funny. There are some very obviously not so attractive people in the office, and when she is with her good looking friends, one time I heard them snickering - I swore I was back in high school, which started me to think about this topic.

    Would you date someone that wasn't good looking, or wasn't attractive by conventional standards? Have you ever noticed you gravitated away from people because they were unattractive? (I have a story about that) or just chosen to be with someone romantically or friendly because you were attracted to their looks (whether romantic or not)?

    I have a personal story about when I was about 16 and was working at a department store. One day they hired a young black man who had some kind of skin issue that looked like burnt pieces of skin all over his face, you really couldn't even see his skin. He was the nicest person you ever wanted to meet, but I gravitated away from him because he made me uncomfortable because of his skin condition, and whenever I could I was very sharp with him and well, not nice. Then one day he just confronted me and said, "why are so mean to me? what have I done to you?" and I realized very apologetically that I was mistreating him because of the way he looked, I felt absolutely terrible about it and after that he and I became the best of friends. But for some reason whenever I think about other people doing that, I remember when I was 16 and truly not very nice to someone else.

  • avishai

    Nope, looks are'nt very important to me. I've dated some women that more than one person called funny lookin', etc. Figured out real early that the good lookin' ones can get ugly real fast and vice-versa. I go for smart, and that quality that some call sexy, others call "attractive" etc., no matter whether they're conventionally good-looking or not.

  • compound complex
    compound complex

    Dear Layla,

    The description of your own experience has struck a nerve with me. You're absolutely correct in your assessment of how deeply our shallowness can run. Since I find myself "suddenly" in the autumn of my years, I see things, literally and figuratively, O so differently.

    If you want a touching story on the beauty of the spirit, then you must rent the video Enchanted April.

    My answer, therefore, to your question would be: NOT IMPORTANT.

    CoCo Sees Inside

  • free2beme

    Here is the most honest answer you can give.

    Very important! While a personality is a nice touch, and would be necessary for a long term relationship. I look at looks first and that is what attracts me. When I see some dressed sharp, in good shape and attractive ... I notice them first! Over weight is a matter of prospective; as I think society often labels some people as over weight too soon. I find very large people very unattractive and as much as I might like their personality and see them as a friend, I would not want sexual relationships with people of that size or want to see them naked.

    ... threads like this always end up having a bunch of "looks are not everything" and "I want a good personality" comments and I find that full of crap. Famous people, and cover girls are not successful and the focus of our attention for their personalities. That is reality, that is the world we live in. Now get a tummy tuck, boob job and join the gym with a diet in mind and accept this world.


    Good grooming is important to me. No unibrows, ear and nose hairs. That is completely different though from good looking. I could care less about looks. I've dated guys that were absolutely considered ugly by my friends and it didn't bother me a bit. My estranged husband is HOT, works out and built, nothing about his body could be improved on in any way. Turned out to be an asshole to me, looks like a nice guy to everyone else. Say what you will guy that posted above me, (sorry - already forgot your name) sense of humor, kindness, personality and ability to love are the deciding factors for me. Has to be someone that gets me.

  • DanTheMan

    I just got rather unceremoniously dumped by a lady who wouldn't win any beauty contests but in her own unique way she is utterly captivating and sexy like you wouldn't believe.


    Dan - is that Joe Satriani? I haven't listened to him for years, used to love him. I'm going to check out You Tube. Remind me where you live in Ohio.


    ohhh...(((Dan))) sorry you got dumped, that's never easy but it happens to us all at one time or another.

  • Casper

    I would have to say "Looks" are relatively important to me....

    There is a certain look that I am attracted to, such as a full head of hair, bedroom eyes, a nicely trimmed goatee and a beautiful smile. He also has to be strong, dependable, have a good sense of humor & be a little on the wild side...

    I am a very touchy freely type of person, holding hands, quick kisses in public, etc... so he also has to be very Loving and affectionate.

    Fortunately, my Hubby fits all of that for me....

  • Junction-Guy

    Looks are usually what attracts me to a woman first, but it will be the personality that is the deal maker/breaker.

    I haven't dated that many women, in fact Amanda was my first real girlfriend that I actually loved and cared for, before that I had only went steady with a few girls at school, and they really werent "lookers" . Another big thing for me is 'classiness". I am attracted to "ladies", not cheap looking women.

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