How important are looks to you?

by Layla33 22 Replies latest jw friends

  • LouBelle

    I have no problem with the way people look, as long as they got decent teeth - that is my thing and I cannot in any way date someone with horrible teeth. I have seen unattractive men and women with good looking partners.

    Layla your experience also struck a cord with me. I had a collegue who was older than me, and she had some terrible burns on her body, not many people wanted to work with her, go out with her socially, but since we worked together quite closely we got to be friends and many people would speak behind her back, sometimes she heard and though she said it didn't bother her, I knew it hurt. I would go to those very people (without her knowing) and give them a piece of my mind about how shallow they were.

    I also have an extremely overweight friend. She is a blast & love her to bits. One night we were at quite a larny function and this one table of men & women in their mid 30s' made comments as she walked past their table. I got my butt out of that chair so quickly and confronted them all.

    Obviously a good looking, well built man is very pleasing to look at. But there is more to it than just the shell especially if you going to get into a long relationship.

  • greendawn

    Used to be very important in the past but as I mature they become less and less so though I still have red lines that I wouldn't cross. Nowadays I wouldn't reject a plain looking or short woman for sure but I would never go for one that is obese or too skinny or has very marked facial skin regardless of personality and character.

    On the other hand unlike during the days of immaturity a plain woman with a sound personality is preferable to a good looking one who has a personality that acts like poison to all those around her. The early days or months with such women might be sweet and hot but what happens after that? Playing bed games is not the beginning and end of life.

    Totally hopeless are the women that are both plain looking and have unpleasant personalities.

  • SPAZnik

    <-----<<< completely vain. and I don't care how that looks. ;)

  • Mary

    With regards to friends, their looks make absolutely no difference to me at all, (as long as they're clean and neat). With regards to dating someone, well, I think we all like 'attractive' when it comes to a potential mate if possible, but it's not numero uno on my list. Intelligence ranks #1 for me, then a good sense of humour, then mannerism, then looks.

    A good friend of mine has a sister in law who has physical beauty, but nothing past that. She's extremely shallow, superficial, uses cocaine (presumably to keep skinny), has had extra-marital affairs, flirts with any man who has a pulse and thinks that she is the center of the universe. While she's friendly with me on the rare occassions I see her, she's not someone I would ever want to be good friends with, simply because well---she's not a very nice person and has no morals whatsoever.

    I also knew a cop several years ago who was absolutely gorgeous. He looked like Ricky Martin with a body like Arnold Schwarzenegger. Plus with a uniform on, he'd walk down the street and women were drooling all over the place and I include myself in that category. Anyway, I was working graveyard in the local coffee shop then so I met him when he and one of the other cops I knew came in one night. In less than 5 minutes the attraction I felt just evaporated, as he was the one of the most conceited, self-centered men I've ever met----total turn off.

    Do looks matter? Depends. I guess to a certain extent it does, but to choose friends solely for their looks, is childish and immature.

  • Nowman

    The initial attraction is what got my attention for my husband, he shaves his head, has a great sense of style, and most important, his sense of humor is awesome (plus I thought he had a nice butt too).

    I have dated men that I thought were HOT, but once they started acting so self-absorbed, total turn off for me, had no problem walking away.


  • Casper

    I totally misread the intro post last night when I posted... was really tired...

    As for FRIENDS,

    I make no judgement calls in appearance. I would be one of the last persons to avoid someone based on looks alone. I feel people are worthy of my time no matter how they may appear on the outside....

    I have a really good friend who was in a very bad car accident, hard for some to look at, but to me he is "Gold"..............

    So, no I don't judge friends by appearance.

    (as for being romantically attracted to...see my earlier post...)


  • R.Crusoe

    This is the question of all questions!

    Do you live in a tinplate house or a mansion?

    Do you drive an budget set of wheels or a gleamer?

    Does the look matter?

    Would you meet an unattractive pauper and make a life with them cuz their heart was gold?

    Many of us spend our lives arguing for the underdog but will sleep with the 'hottie' if it smacks us in the face and blows our hormones outa the water!

    Many spend our lives beefing up the rights the underdog and even feeling their pain whilst quietly envious of those who are in a position to take all they wish!

    We each have an inner empathy combined with erotic romantic fantasy. And our reality determines how well we are enabled to explore each pathway of opportunity and how far we travel along each!

    That's all I can say!

    I'm less clear now about whether reality is more about ethics or more about personal opportunity for aquisition!

    Like if a woman falls in love with me and an adonis unexpectedly happens in her reality, do I expect 'possession' by me to dominate or her opportunity for freedom to explore to become her reality?

    How much do I wish her to maximise her opportunity for reality - even at my expense v's how much I want the reality she has available for myself if it were to happen? How much of my inner self is in fact the hypocrite? How many of my values are selfish expectations?

    Is there an answer?

    I convinced my soul it was love but now love may contradict its previous imagined morality! I am in flux and have no definition at present and so am attempting to surf the white water calmly but in a state of hypnosis over it all.

    So ?? Good question??

  • stillajwexelder

    when I was young - VERY. Now I am older not that much

  • Highlander
    when I was young - VERY. Now I am older not that much

    Said by the poster with an avatar pic of a beautiful woman.

  • avishai

    Yeah...a beautiful, smart, chipper and talented woman. Who obviously is pretty damn OK w/ BEING a woman. Now that's sexy.

Share this