He is a crazy dill hole. You need to delete him from your life. Then you need to talk with a mental help professional about why you would even choose such a man, if you don't heal that issue your next guy will be worse.
You could probably do some of that work towards healing yourself. Take a pice of paper and write on it a list of traits you think are healthy for a man to exhibit in a relationship. Take another and write the unhealthy list. Maybe show these to a therapist or clsoe friend who shows good judgement. Then post the good list on your fridge or where you'll see it every day.
You sound so smart and inteligent, I can't wrap my brain around how you wound up with the Cocoa Puff bird on crack.
My sister is in an abusive addictive phase right now. Currently her dill hole is in jail, and she is in Tacoma, but she continually makes bad choices that lock her in more. That is why I say you need to fix or even just become aware of the underlying emotional issue that leads you to this. Her pattern was of choosing worse and worse guys, until she found this one who physically beats her. When she gets away from him I used to hope that she finially "got it" and learned the lesson, but I've stopped holding my breath and running to her aid everytime she says boo-hoo.
I feel sympathy for you, I just hope that you can get the help you need to end the cycle that your parents started teaching you.