Most LUDICROUS thing you've ever heard at the KINGDOM HALL

by berylblue 34 Replies latest jw friends

  • WTWizard

    One Local Needs talk instructing us that we need to look and act happy at the a$$emblies. I only wish I would have had the means to knock the walls down on the Kingdumb Hell and broadcast that to the public, so they would have embarrassment and know that the "happiness" in the organization is fake. And they would have a huge expense to repair the Kingdumb Hell, to boot.

  • JimmyPage

    Flying High Now, your story of the breath of life is very interesting. My wife, who is still part of the Borg, was out in service. Some other sisters were talking about baby relatives of theirs who were twins. One died after taking a breath, the other died without taking a breath. So they weren't sure if that one would get a resurrection. My wife was horrified by this and asked if I had ever heard it. I told her it was the absolute dumbest thing I had ever heard. Where do they come up with this sh*t?

  • berylblue

    Welcome Brothers and Sisters!

  • berylblue
    Aren't we all glad we're here tonight? (everyone clapping)

  • Redbeard

    G’day fellahs!

    1. A couple of months after U2 had performed a big concert in Copenhagen, we had an assembly, and the circuit overseer had been reading a review of the concert, in which it was stated that ‘Bono acted as a priest preaching his message of love and mutual understanding between the people on the Earth to his willingly listening and believing audience that night’.

    The idiot did not understand the simple figurative language used in the article, and warned us all about this ‘band that was truly a part of Babylon the Great’ and that we would risk being ‘guilty of idolatry’ by attending this event.

    I happened to have been at the gig and was surprised to find out that I had sinned!
    Surprising that he choose to hit out at the world’s most loving band when he had the chance of raging against more ‘evil’ concepts like The Rolling Stones or even Bon Jovi.

    At the time I had been a keen listener of Slipknot and the like for years so my ears almost fell off.

    2. An old guy made a speech in my congregation. He started out by saying ‘Hello, my name is Simon Winther – also in the summer! Ho ho’ and then the standard was pretty much defined. He rambled on about the usual stuff – and then he got the great idea of pointing out certain really bad elements from Satan’s Evil World.

    In the exact words he warned us about things like ‘Harry Potter, Play-Station, X Box, XP, Inter-net, S-M-S, I-Pod and other so-called modern inventions that are made up to make us stumble and fall down into Satan’s World’ (I wrote it carefully down not to forget it).


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