The end of marriage?

BurnTheShips

From a piece in a London publication :

The proportion of men and women getting married is below any level found since figures were first kept nearly 150 years ago.
And the number of weddings held in 2006 was the smallest since 1895, when the population was little more than half its present level.
The evidence that marriage is withering away at an increasing pace was met with a furious response from critics of Labour's benefits system, which disregards the status of husbands and wives and pays parents extra to stay single.

and

The causes of the collapse of marriage range from the rise in the Western world of a highly individualistic ethic, to a profound shift in moral and religious attitudes, to the sexual revolution, to the widespread use of abortion and the pill, to changes in law, among other things. The precise damage that the collapse in marriage is having on different societies is hard to measure – but we know it cannot be good. Marriage remains the best arrangement ever devised when it comes to sexual and emotional intimacy, raising children, and finding fulfillment and completeness between two people, not to mention things like financial security, better health, and longer lives. It is, as Bennett wrote, “the keystone in the arch of civilization.”

http://www.commentarymagazine.com/blogs/index.php/wehner/3103

What's going on here?

Burn

The men's rights activists will tell you it's because men are afraid of marriage these days. But then, some of them are big on marrying Asian women (and the odd Russian, but Asians are the preference), so that allegation doesn't hold too much water. For the record, I'm right with the MRAs on a LOT of things, but when they get silly and hateful (against American and British women), they can count me out.

I love Glenn Sacks; I'll bet anything he picks up on this article. If he does, I'll post the link here and you can see for yourself how some men feel about marriage and why SOME of them SHOULD NOT be married - they're babies, plain and simple. I pity the Asian women these guys finally con into marrying them.

BurnTheShips

I think a lot of men are dead scared of getting taken for a ride. They get married, the woman stays for a while, divorces and takes all his hard earned crap.

It happens much too often.

However,

I think the focus of this article is that government social policies have deprecated marriage. Me, I think we can throw the sexual revolution in there too. Why would a man risk marriage when he can have sex without the commitment?

Burn-(who is lucky to be happily married)

funkyderek

The precise damage that the collapse in marriage is having on different societies is hard to measure – but we know it cannot be good.

How do we know that? Wouldn't we only know that it's not good if we could measure the precise damage it's having?

Marriage remains the best arrangement ever devised when it comes to sexual and emotional intimacy, raising children, and finding fulfillment and completeness between two people, not to mention things like financial security, better health, and longer lives.

Perhaps it's not the best arrangement for everybody. Now that, for the first time, people have the option of other arrangements, perhaps we'll see improvements in some or all of these areas.

BurnTheShips

Now that, for the first time, people have the option of other arrangements

Since when did people not have the option of different arrangements?

perhaps we'll see improvements in some or all of these areas.

Seeing how this did not start yesterday, or the day before that, have we seen an overall improvement to date, particularly when it comes to children?

Burn

WTWizard

I think there will always be marriage, at least in name. I do think we are in for a looser definition of it, however, as gay marriage becomes reality and people in marriages find them more open in nature. And those common-law marriages (where couples live together without ever getting married for a long time) are more common these days.

Not that this is such a bad idea. I see nothing wrong with fornication, especially when a couple is serious. What I do see wrong is that couples (and singles) are stagnated by life. You get up, go to a job that you have a 99.9% chance of hating, work 8 hours a day, go home, and watch TV (which is largely the same old propaganda that the government, and increasingly the drug companies, want you to see), and go to bed. Sometimes you drink. And, if anyone tries to break out of that, the regulators slam the door in their face. This kind of stagnation is the root cause of most marital problems (and most money problems as well). It leads to a lot of the adultery we see (as the spouses blame each other instead of the larger scale stagnation for the problems).

I doubt that this will be the total end of marriage. It is reducing its popularity, as people are wary of entering into something where they are likely to stagnate. What the rulers won't tell you is that single people are as likely (if not more likely) to be victims of this stagnation, and that it starts when children are stifled from getting into things and stopped from learning properly in school. Religion (especially the Jehovah's Witlesses) are very guilty in causing this stagnation, too--as they infuse guilt into every activity that people should enjoy to the full.

quietlyleaving

sounds like a very one-sided view point BTS displayed in the article imo

BurnTheShips

sounds like a very one-sided view point BTS

Well please give me other sides. I am listening. Cheers, Burn

berylblue

I agree about the fear men have of losing everything during a divorce; worse yet, some women have resorted to false accusations in order to keep the man out of their lives and the lives of their children.

I also agree about the sex bit; but men don't much seem to care to continue dating women who hold out on them. I agree that many men feel if you can get sex without the commitment, why marry? But there are always those who WANT to be married when they start having children - for the sake of the children.

I am not married and my man has no intention of marrying me. This used to bother me but now, I just don't care. If Jehovah wants to kill me at Armegeddon for this, he can knock himself out. Commitment is commitment with or without a ring. Having one did not stop my first husbands from leaving.

funkyderek

BurnTheShips:

Since when did people not have the option of different arrangements?

In most cultures, for most of history. People often didn't (and in many places still don't) have the option of even choosing whom to marry. Divorce was forbidden, as was any from of pre- or extra-marital sex. Those who bucked the trend could be ostracised or even killed. I'm surprised you've never heard of such things happening.

Seeing how this did not start yesterday, or the day before that, have we seen an overall improvement to date, particularly when it comes to children?

It's hard to disentangle various causes and effects given how much society has changed in recent decades. My initial point was merely that assuming the effects are bad without evidence is unjustified. Personally, I think the mere fact that people (especially women) have more control over their own lives is such a huge improvement in itself that it more than compensates for the problems that such freedom can bring.

The end of marriage?

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