Would you warn a woman of an abusive man? (page 2)

horrible life

With regards MY EX....

I would have told her, but they were dating/sleeping with each other, while we were still married. So I really hoped he wholloped her, then she kill him. Would have made great Karma. But alas, they are still married, but FAT and UGLY. So I think Karma hit them with her Ugly stick instead.

Makes me happy!!!!!!! Here is a picture I found on a My Space page, of a relative of theirs.

If he would have got with anybody else, after we divorced, I would have told them. They would be an innocent party.

alt

Pioneer Spit...oh, i mean Spirit

I would. Without accusing her, without giving advice, then split. Got police reports, hospital records?

I'd do it. It's hard enough for a woman to believe in herself when in an abusive relationship, maybe someday she'll have you to thank.

Tired of the Hypocrisy

I would rather say it and be ignored than not say it and see her get hurt.

steve2

No. It could backfire: What makes you think she'd appreciate it? Prisons are filled with convicted violent men who never experience a shortage of rosy-eyed, love-lorn, "missionary"-minded women lining up to convert and reform these pathetic excuses for men.

Eliveleth

Cognac,

I think you have the answer to the question yourself. Would you want someone to warn

you if it was you in that situation? Do unto others as you would want them to do to you.

Love and hugs,

Velta

bigmouth

No cognac, leave it.

As I have worked many years in the company of women dominated organisations, I have noticed, without exception, female colleagues coming up to me and 'warning' me of this or that person. Supposedly to protect me or something.

I suspect there is an unwritten rule within the sisterhood that requires they do this.

It seems to add friction between women and create a relationship based on a common dislike of someone.

Your ex is a big girl and he may treat her differently. Would a warning at this point make life happier for either of you ?

Tatiana

Statistics show that most men who are physically abusive do not stop, and even escalate in a lot of cases if they are not stopped. My ex got worse and worse until he almost killed me. I don't know if I could live with myself if I didn't tell her, and something terrible happened.

Like others said.....doesn't matter if she doesn't believe you. Doesn't matter if she likes getting slapped around. What matters is that you did the right thing.

R.Crusoe

Cognac - I wasn't at any point suggesting you were bad for your ex and so bad for the next man! That is my point!

I honestly have seen first hand a female winding up a guy repeatedly for no good reason other than to produce an outburst! Not something he would ever do to her - and then she makes him look the bad boy! I grew up amongst that sorta repeated angst and it is bloody minded control for selfish reasons that defy my understanding - apart from it being some way of personal revenge motivating them!

Its a tough thing to judge how one person is unless you know the dynamic personally but even then its very tricky!

Like how did some of us ever get caught up into what seemed a mellow caring JW religion and then get screwed over with pure mind control of family and ourselves?

So unless your gonna start advocating we each get a personal profile from our previous when we get into new relationships, I dont think affecting the rest of a persons life is to be recommended!

Its a fine line between helping others and stereotyping people!

My feeling is all people - female and male - need lots of love and affection.

I'm not sure how accurate you think the following statement is?

Maybe I'm biased because I'm male?

Here goes:

Far more negatively damaging stereotypes are attached to males in western culture than females which then impact on them ever getting regular affectionate and loving lifestyles around them!

Very few negative stereotypes are attached to females which brand them sufficiently to prevent them being involved in loving and affectionate lifestyles.

Result - the cycle is forced to contunue due to stereotyping and never releasing individuals from those labels - as with slavery and skin colour in the past!!

What are your thoughts?

cognac

What are your thoughts?

I don't believe there ever is a justification for hitting somebody. However, in this case, I was a good JW wife - which is part of the reason now that I have such a big mouth about everything. I didn't want to provoke him. I didn't want to gaze out the window and him become convinced that I was in love with somebody else and then hit me for it. I didn't want him to ask me something, then be convinced I was lying and then hit me for it... I tried to handle everything in such a way that he would get mad. I would go out and buy him things all the time just so he would have something new to focus on and wouldn't be upset.

Anyways, I would have left earlier, but I had to stick around long enough to get actual "proof" of a scriptual divorce... Stupid, I know, but I would have rather died then be stuck married to him for the rest of my life cause he never would have let me get a scriptual divorce.

When I found out that this wasn't the "truth" it made me sick that I put up with that for "scriptual reasons" and was a "theocratic wife" and didn't use any damn common sense.

momzcrazy

Yes, save her the hurt you experienced. If she doesn't listen that is her decision, but at least you tried to warn her.

momz

Would you warn a woman of an abusive man?

Share this