Did Your Mom and Dad Tell You " I Love You " Growing Up - and as an Adult?

by flipper 45 Replies latest jw friends

  • momzcrazy
    momzcrazy
    you ducked ? I don't understand. Was he going to hit you ?

    Yes, normally his hand went up to smack us on our heads. That was more common than the hugs. And we also cringed when he walked up behind us, for the same reason.

    momz

  • FlyingHighNow
    FlyingHighNow
    Then my dad got Married, I went to Missouri. She did not like children, she would lock me up in the bathroom and she would go shopping. I would be in there all day. She did alot of other things to me.

    Barbie, this has made me cry. I am so happy you have found true happiness with PEC. You deserve it very much. I can't imagine treating a child like you were treated.

  • Jim_TX
    Jim_TX

    Well... without writing a book here... no.

    To elaborate a smidgen... when I was a kiddo... all I remember was getting beaten with a leather belt that my dad kept hung on a nail on the wall. It hurt. I was about 5 or 6.

    I had 2 younger brothers... I think that they were too young to get 'the belt'. My older sisters... nope. My dad didn't 'hit' the girls. So that left just me.

    My dad died in a car accident when I was about 7-1/2. Also one of my sisters. That left my mom with 6 kiddos. She kept up the 'tradidition' of using the belt on me - but also included my younger brothers in the sessions. I finally noticed that she seemed to enjoy it more when I hopped around and screamed a lot - so I stopped doing that. I would just stand and take it.

    She soon got tired of the 'fun' - and ceased the beltings - on me. But my brothers didn't notice the pattern, and continued to get the beltings - until the belt broke. Then, I think that they stopped.

    Oh. To answer your question. No - my father never did tell me 'I love you'.

    Nor did my mother. Ever.

    I forgave my dad for the beatings - when - many years later - I was thinking about them - and realized that he was under a lot of stress at the time. He had 7 kiddos to feed and house... and not much money. His jobs were not paying very well. So... he took it out on me.

    My mom? Well... she never said 'I love you' - cuz she felt that she might be showing 'favoritism' amongst all of us. She did anyway... but that's another story.

    I always thought that I was a really really bad kid - since I always was in trouble - getting the belt. It wasn't until recently (well... about 10 years ago) that I finally came to the realization that my dad was just under stress - and realized I probably wasn't that bad. Just a few welts, and lotsa tears.

    Regards,

    Jim TX

  • momzcrazy
    momzcrazy
    all I remember was getting beaten with a leather belt that my dad kept hung on a nail on the wall

    My dad wore is and the sound of him whipping it out of his loops.....

    My sister and I got the belt and plastic spoons. We were lucky, my brother got fists and thrown around. It's funny but my mom doesn't seem to remember any of it. I was also locked in our unfinished basement alot.

  • Barbie Doll
    Barbie Doll

    FHN------There is alot more that I didn't tell you about. Its to hard to talk about.

    My Granddaughter is just like your Mother, she has Bipolar. She gets Moody, Angry and abusive at times. She has a 3 year old Boy, I keep telling her to stay on her Medicine. Now she is going to have another child.

  • Cc81
    Cc81

    My father was and is very affectionate with us all. Even now, I dont talk to him much but there is always I love you's every time i see him. He always hugged us and kissed us and told us how much he loved us and how special we were to him. My mother... well.. My mother had some mental illness issues. When she was good she was good, when she was bad she was bad. The bad moments we used to get Beat and nasty words would fling around all day long : (. But when she was good.. it was wonderful.. she would kiss us and hug us.. tell us she loved us.. she would try to do special things with us.. Unfortunately the bad moments outweighed the good. and most of my memories are bad of my mom. But i do treasure the good memorys i have.

  • still_in74
    still_in74

    I know my father loved me but I dont ever remember hearing him say it. Like Jkkk I will never hear it either.
    as for my mother, I am sure she did say it a few times but I can honestly say I dont ever remember her saying it to me as a child. When I got older she would say it but only when she was trying to get something or manipulate me.
    Needless to say my relationship with my mother is virtually non-existent.

  • Barbie Doll
    Barbie Doll

    CC81---- It sound like she had Bipolar, They can be real good and be real bad. They get Moody,

    Angry and abusive. Did she take Medicine?

  • Barbie Doll
    Barbie Doll

    Jim-TX----I remember when my dad would hit me with a razor strap. I put the razor strap

    under the chair to hide it. I though I would not get hit. He went out and cut a switch of

    the tree. That really hurt me, I gave him back the razor strap.

  • Cc81
    Cc81

    barbie doll, Yes my mother had severe bipolar. I have my suspicions that it may have been more than that as well : ( she did not take medication when i was a kid So it was really bad.i remember my dad having her committed a couple of times it was so bad. She is on meds now and is a completely different person. I have a bit of resentment on that one. i wish she had just taken the meds when us kids were growing up.. it would have made a world of difference.. but i guess i should be happy that she takes it at all.

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