Would you rather have the truth, or your feelings spared?

by Bumble Bee 45 Replies latest jw friends

  • IP_SEC
    IP_SEC

    truth with or without tact.

    I'll go you one further. I'd like to be able to read minds. I want to know what you really think beyond the niceties of common social convention.

  • Uzzah
    Uzzah

    Here's a scenario:

    Two people. One interested and the other has repeatedly said no, just friends. Both are very attracted to each other but the guy realized she wasn't for him.

    One night a group of friends go out, everyone gets fairly drunk. Flirtation leeds to physical contact which leads to an intimate session back at the woman's home. Throughout the time back at her place, she professes her love over and over.

    To complicate it further, they are neighbours.

    Honesty is she is not relationship material for him but is very sexy and truth is little head won out over big head. This leaves her feeling like a piece of meet that was used.

    How does one honestly tell a woman who is a casual friend, that it was just a drunken mistake?

    Truth or a lie to leave her dignity and possibily the friendship intact?

  • R.Crusoe
    R.Crusoe

    This is the rod that beats many humans into self doubt and distrust of humanity.

    It happens in families when growing up, and in relationships with those in this life whom you may trustingly commit yourself to in belief systems which stake their claim for possession of your 'next life'!

    And the ones who seem to get along in either circumstance are the ones preoccupied with self and deceptively enticing others to follow their wishes. Ones preoccupied with opinions on how they want others to be! Ones who look at you through eyes filled with deadwood!

  • Hortensia
    Hortensia

    it can be very painful to listen to the truth, but if you can hear it, it cuts a lot of nonsense short. I have a couple of friends I value because they will tell me the truth. Sometimes I don't like what I hear, but most of the time they are right. It has saved me from a lot of problems. So, I'd rather hear the truth most of the time. Sometimes it is just too hard and you can keep your opinion to yourself. But if its information, not opinion, I need to hear it.

  • serendipity
    serendipity

    Uzzah, In your scenario, both parties made a drunken mistake. And yes, the truth is preferable to letting her believe she has a chance at a relationship. An apology may preserve the friendship.

  • yumbby
    yumbby

    Truth everytime for me.

    Bleh, my brother is kinda having this problem. He has been married about 6 months, together with her for about 5 years. He realized he made a terrible mistake in marrying her, he just doesn't love her like a wife. He likes her like a buddy. He wants out of the marriage before any more time passes and he keeps telling her as gently as possible, but she is totally refusing to hear it. Just in complete denial. She is going to make him act like a total asshole. I hope I never not get something like that. Just such a sticky, sad situation to be in.

  • dinah
    dinah

    A&W,

    Can we saddle up and whoop him? That is just low-down and mean to tell a woman you want a second chance, while not even trying. That's why I stopped doing the second-chance thang. What a PIG!

    Anyhoo, back to BB's question. The truth is always best. Of course, a real friend would break the news without leaving you devastated.

    You guys all get a "G" for tact and get to move onto "repetition and gestures" (I always hated that one, how do you gesture while sitting at a freakin' table???)

  • PEC
    PEC

    BB, tell me the truth, I can take it.

    Philip

  • Tara
    Tara
    Honesty delivered kindly.

    My thoughts exactly.

  • Barbie Doll
    Barbie Doll

    The Truth is the only way.

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