Went to a JW "funeral" on Saturday

by Dorktacular 28 Replies latest jw friends

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  Dorktacular

  My brother called me late on the 13th to let me know that a friend of ours - who is no longer a JW - called him and said that his dad was being flown by helicopter to the hospital because he collapsed at home and had no pulse. They took my friend's dad off life support on Valentine's Day and he died. Well, I was debating whether or not to go to the funeral because I have no desire to hang around a bunch of JWs or set foot in a Kindumb Hall again. I went anyway because I knew the man and because my very loyal friend made the long trip to my mother's funeral 7 years ago when he didn't have two dimes to rub together and really couldn't afford the trip.

  I've been married now for a little over three years. This was the first time my wife ever set foot in a Kingdom Hall. Let's just say that she was not impressed. The whole thing really sucked because it was more of a recruitment drive than it was a funeral. My wife said it was a lot like being suckered into going to somebody's house for dinner and then it turns into a sales pitch for Amway or some other multilevel marketing ploy. The guy giving the memorial serivce gave my friend hell from the platform about him not being a JW anymore and that if he wanted to make his dad proud he would "come back to the truth". His dad was one of the "anointed" so he will be watching from heaven so he better be a good JW if he wants his dad to be happy. I expected this behavior. My wife did not. There were a few "brothers" there that I haven't seen in years and they were all smiles and hugs until they figured out that I wasn't "in the truth" anymore, and they all slinked away like I smelled like a dirty diaper. Some of these people started talking to my wife about studying! She told them that after what she saw there, she wouldn't be interested in the least about learning any more about the JWs. She's already seen everything she needed to know.

  My friend was largely ignored. If it wasn't for me and my brother and our wives being there, he would have had no one to talk to. Even his own brother didn't have more than two sentences to say to him while there. We stayed until my friend was ready to leave because we didn't want to leave him there alone. My wife is still shocked. A man dies, and his greiving family is told that it is a happy time, because the man has received his heavenly reward! Let's all sing happy songs and have a party! Everybody is partying while the greiving widow is seated in a corner by herself in a daze. I went to her and gave her my condolences as did my wife. The one bright spot of the whole time was that my friend's mom thanked my wife for comming even though she didn't know her husband. Other than that, it sucked. Another shining example of why not to become a Jehovah's Witness.
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  willdabeerman

  Experiences like that make me sick to my stomach. The audacity and the utter disregard for life the witnesses have is appalling. I am sorry for your friends loss. You also deserve kudos for doing the stand up thing and waiting by your friends side, but then again, you don't need me to tell you that.
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  carla

  It is stories like this that help to keep people out of jw's and find the jw's totally disgusting.

  That was so thoughtful of you to go and put yourself through this charade of a funeral for your friend.
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  Dorktacular

  The only reason we went is because of my friend. Even my friend was debating whether or not to go himself! The only reason he went was because of his mother. We would have done better just to gather at his house and do our own thing.
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  Mrs Smith

  I think it's great that you made the effort to support your friend in his time of need. I can only hope that I have friends like you if anything happens to my JW parents.
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  looloo

  that is dreadful , no wonder your wife was not impressesd, i remeber jws attitude to 9/ 11 , some couldnt seem to care about all the innocents that died , just loved to proove the point that it was a sign of the end, how sick !
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  Burger Time

  I always think back when my best friend at the time died. He was doing the fade and got in to an accident. Well they couldn't do the funeral at the Hall that would have been wrong. So instead an elder gave a talk at a funeral parlor. Of course it was the JW recruitment speech. My friends Mom was so disenfranchised by it she immediately stopped with the JW act. After the funeral she turned to me and mentioned how useless the whole thing was and that it didn't help one bit. I wanted to walk up to the elder and punch him in the face, except I think he knew the deal, he had this look of guilt on him. I'll never forget that.
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  WTWizard

  I bet they turned it into another occasion to recruit more people. Cockroach witlesses.
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  Velvetann

  I so agree with you, thats EXACTLY how JW funerals are, Depressing and not about the person.

  I had a horrible experience with a funeral. MY DAD in 2001, He was DA but my MOM was still active and very into the religion. I am a only child and DA so I didn't want to go to a Kingdom Hall for his funeral, and I told my MOM that Dad wouldn't want that either. So she agreed to do the funeral in the funeral home because of me and my children. She got Ernie Funk from Bethel here in Ontario to do the talk. He was our first circuit servant way back in the early 60's so he agreed even though my Dad wasn't in the truth anymore. My husband wanted to do a Eulogy for my Dad and my Mom said that it had to be "approved" by Ernie. Ernie had me fax it to him and then called me to say it was OK, he had warned me that we were not allowed to say anything against their views at the funeral like maybe my Dad might go to Heaven or something. My husband just talked about my Dad and fond memories.

  That was the high point of the funeral and if it hadn't been for my husbands Eulogy the funeral would have been just horrible. Ernie never mentioned my Dad once in his talk and his talk was an hour. He quoted scripture after scripture and of course made it evident that my Dad may not be in Gods favour for the resurrection. My children and some friends of ours who are not JW's were shocked. It was disgusting. I can't even explain how horrible it is to have lost your Dad and they pretend the funeral is about Jehovah and praising him and condemming the poor man who is dead.

  After they had a reception at some rented place and it was all about having a good time, no one talked about my Dad. My Mom loved all the attention she was getting though.

  When my MOM died in Oct 06 I was in charge of everything and I insisted that the funeral be done in a funeral home, that even though a JW gave the talk I had HIM phone me and tell me what he was saying. I said I want you to talk about HER not your beliefs. So he did and did a good job. I was happy with the talk and did allow a couple of encouraging scriptures to be read, I think he did 4 scriptures, the rest was about what my Mom was like. AT My Dads funeral there must have been 30 scriptures read, it was so boring and depressing.

  Well thats my 2 cents worth

  VelvetAnn
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  Dorktacular

  My mom was not a JW. When she died, my father insisted on having a JW funeral anyway. It was sickening. I will never get over the many levels of disrespect my father and the other JWs had for her at that particular moment.