New 2008 Rules for A$$emblies?

by WTWizard 41 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • El Kabong
    El Kabong

    Perhaps the new collars will look something like this...

    alt

  • WTWizard
    WTWizard

    If they start using electronic devices like the collars, I think immersion in water would do a pretty good job at cooking the electronics and rendering them useless. Or, if one can get access to the battery, extracting and shorting the battery will cause it to go dead. And, I would wonder what would stop people from taking their collars off and putting fake ones on before leaving the building.

    If they have any electronic chip in the embarrassment badges, all one would need do is cut one of the circuits or create a short circuit in it. Or, if you can find the leads, putting a 9 V battery on it could well fry some of the tiny electronics in the chip. There has to be some way to ruin the chip so it would not function. And, in case of the bar code, drawing a line with black ink that runs parallel to the other lines, the length of which is the same as the other lines, will throw off the reader. That will make it more work for them to track people with those things.

  • sacolton
    sacolton

    The day they do stuff like that I would imagine a mass exodus from the WTBTS. Maybe that's wishful thinking.

  • MidwichCuckoo
    MidwichCuckoo

    Lol - collars like in the film 'Battle Royale'?

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    We laugh and joke - but to the Crooklyn maniacs it is no joke.

    We had a 'special program' a few years back at the Pontiac Silverdome - some 'stupendous announcement' was to be made - which if it was, I never heard it, then or since. Anyway - my wife and I attended and elected to sit in the nosebleed section. Two members of the GB [Lett and Heard] were to deliver the information. When we headed up to our seats, we were accosted by two 'attendants' who asked me rudely if I had a recorder in my briefcase [I did not, but wish now that I had and was lying]. I don't know if they 'profiled' me somehow as being a likely covert operator of some sort - or if I was just randomly chosen.

    So they do such things sometimes - I would not be surprised to see a ban on all recording devices [which would clearly include video].

    I am also surprised that Crooklyn has not 'suggested' the use of buses to bring entire congregations to the hotel/motel block reserved for them and back/forth to the assembly site. Probably legal liability is the reason they have not - but it would be a great way to confirm who is/isn't in attendance daily. A workable concession might be to force the elders to arrange 'carpools' and to track them. Each book-study conductor would then have reason to question each member as to his/her plans and ask to 'consolidate' into one of the carpools.

    It would be a fairly easy matter for them to assign congregational sections - and to enforce it. They could keep daily records of who was there. And the sheep-mentality of the 'flock' would assure that 'spiritually minded men and women' followed the 'lead of Jehovah's organization' in such matters. A failure to comply would virtually assure that 'special privileges' were withheld or suspended.

    Jeff

  • BluesBrother
    BluesBrother
    The God of the universe and his org cannot afford the loo roll!

    lol Chicken Little

    Back in the nineties, I had to conduct the Service Meeting item from the K M insert about the next Assembly. I was so disgusted afterwards that I wrote to the Society and told them so. I got a very patronising reply....

  • Finally-Free
    Finally-Free

    Oh, the memories this thread is bringing back.

    For me assemblies were the ultimate torture. I was an adult convert, and could never fit in with the JWs, no matter how hard I tried. Assemblies reinforced that. Since I wasn't part of an "in crowd" I spent most of my time feeling like I was being shunned - a lot more than I was after I DA'd.

    Conventions changed a lot during the 20 years I was in. We started off having hot meals. Then simplification™ became the order of the day, and we started brown bagging it. At circuit assemblies we had to bring our own food, but were not allowed to eat anywhere but in the lunch room, which was too small for the number of people there. I usually ate in my truck.

    I was viewed as "rebellious" because I voiced my opinions about the lodging lists, dog tags, and idiots who stood still while holding signs that said "keep moving".

    W

  • Finally-Free
    Finally-Free

    Repitition for emphasis.

    W

  • lawrence
    lawrence

    Tests will be given after each session, and if you fail, you have to pay 100 dollars, or get DF'ed.

    Baptism candidates must donate 500 dollars to Crooklyn.

    Those that leave before the session's final prayer - 400 dollars or DF'ed.

    Sisters must have their arms, legs, and heads covered before they exit the car in the parking lot - any infraction 200 dollars or DF'ed.

    Youngsters under 2 that cry, 150 dollars per incident from both parents or DF'ed.

    If 85% of the audience is clapping and one refrains, 100 dollars or DF'ed.

    If someone needs a drink during a session for any reason, 100 dollars or DF'ed.

    Use of an unapproved hotel - 1000 dollars or DF'ed.

    Use of an unapproved food source (all of them) - 700 dollars or DF'ed.

    Removing assembly clothes before bedtime - stoned to death by the superfine apostles (jerk-off elders).

    Getting laid after a few drinks - Gehenna for both, and their next of kin.

    P.S. Crooklyn, shove your false religion and your crummy assemblies in the place where the sun doesn't shine!

    "Why don't you all just fade away".

  • sooner7nc
    sooner7nc

    Hey Lawrence, ya forgot about the mandatory "silent headshake in agreement" that every JW is supposed to do every meeting, ass-embly, etc. $350 or DFing.

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