Can I forbid my ex to see my son???

babygirl75

Before I start, I know a lot of you will say for me to consult an attorney, but just wanted to see if any of you have had to deal with this....

I have primary custody of my son. My ex was ordered to pay child support the first of each month. Well I hardly ever see a dime of it unless I call him and have to bitch him out to send the state a payment for child support. Even when he sends a payment it is only one weeks worth. He is already over $8000 behind. I've talked with the child support people, and they tell me as long as he is sending in some kind of payment, they can't really do anything. In the court order he gets to see my son every other weekend. When he has my son, he is always buying him toys and other crap he doesn't need. Anway..Can I not let my son go with him on his weekends until he at least starts paying what he should in child support each month? I know it is a court order he gets him every other weekend, but it is also a court order for him to pay child support!

Anybody been in this situation and have any advice??

Sirona

Your child having a father figure is more important than your arguments over money.

He might be a loser but he is the child's father.

It damages a child to grow up without their father.

Sirona

babygirl75

Sirona,

I agree that my son's feelings are more important than money..That's not at all what I'm saying.

My child has a father figure in my husband now. My son calls my husband "daddy". He sees his father because he has to. I know he does love his father, but He told me the other night that it bothers him that his father does not take care of him. My child will NEVER go without as long as I'm alive and breathing. I just don't think it's fair that I have to send my son off to his father's house (who lives over an hour away) every other weekend and he does not help support him.

I haven't pushed the issue because I do take my son's feelings into account over everything I do. I'd just like to know what options I do have.

serotonin_wraith

I'm with sirona.

The battle over money is between you and your ex. The relationship between your son and his father is between them. It doesn't involve you. As long as he's not hurting him, butt out. Had you realised your son may suffer too if you get between them?

hillbilly

I dont know what state you live in ... for a few years many judges have gone way overboard in protecting "fathers rights". I have to deal with a dead beat who harrasses us through the courts etc because the Circuit court judge feels the need for fairness when dealing with a basically evil and twisted person.

If he owes money go after him hard.

Most states wont force visitation after a child is 12 or 14 or so... hang in there. At least yours sees his "dad" for what he is.

~Hill

babygirl75

The battle over money is between you and your ex. The relationship between your son and his father is between them. It doesn't involve you. As long as he's not hurting him, butt out. Had you realised your son may suffer too if you get between them?

I know this is between me & my ex and I do not let my son get in the middle of that or hear arguments. But his father is the one that called the other night and yelling about having to pay child support on my answering machine and my son heard it. My son is my business so there is no way in hell I will butt out. Hearing my ex cussing and yelling does effect him and his feelings. I can only shelter him from it so much, but do not have control over what he hears when he is with this dad. I realize what kind of effect it may have on my son, that is why I haven't done anything to prevent him from seeing his worthless father.

babygirl75

Thanks Hillbilly...

So far you're the only one that understands what I'm saying...

worldtraveller

Is he a Witness

Does he drink

Violent tendencies

Drug abuse

Criminal background

Verbally abusive

Most important-what would a day involve? Is there any potential for harm? Is there a pontential for abduction? Does he have enough cash for a meal?

Any one of the above is real bad news. If there is none, then the only thing is witholding money from you. That requires a lawyer. All the rest is a judgement call from you. Better not make him a pawn. Now find evidence of the above-slam the door and call the authorities.

coffee_black

My daughter is going through something similar... only he's almost $20,000 behind... She got one check for 18cents. Nice... that's not the worst of it though... He is bi-polar, has been Baker Acted twice, been addicted to drugs (anything he can get his hands on) has threatened her life, has had 7 jobs just in the past year...keeps switching before anything can be taken out of his check. When he has had the kids, he takes them to bars, and spends the time telling them he's going to kill their mother. He has used the oldest's identity ....run up bills and not paid....and now at age 13 this honor student has bad credit....

At this point, she doesn't care about the child support money... She just wants to leave the State with the kids....for their safety as well as her own. She wants charges filed against him for identiy theft....The oldest is a top student, and is going to Washington DC to be honored as one of the top middle school students in the country. His father trying to undermine any of his goals... She's in Florida, and they don't consider emotional abuse as cause to keep them from him. To leave the state without permission is a Federal offense... She's trying to work throught the legal process (been separated for years..but afraid to persue it because of threats...long story) She needs to write a book when all this is over... what a mess! I worry every minute. It comes down to how to protect these children and my daughter from this mad man.

Sorry about the rant... it's probably incoherent....

Coffee

mrsjones5

I understand, after watching countless court shows (hey they're very educational) that child support and child custody are separate issues, one does not influence the other. Which in my mind and yours would be very frustrating if the ex is slow paying or not paying at all. Unfortunately I don't think you can legally restrict your son from your ex because he's being a jerk about supporting his child. But maybe you can try getting some legal advice from a lawyer or maybe go back to family court and see if they can tell you something to help like maybe garnishing whatever income he receives. If you illegally (outside of what had been setup in court) deny access to your ex you might start up other problems (like him gaining even more access to your boy) that you don't want.

Josie

Can I forbid my ex to see my son???

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